MickyNL Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I have a terrible love story. I have been with a guy for more than 7 years, in an unhealthy relationship, both being very young (started around 18). I have met another guy in my 3rd year of university, my soul mate, 3 years ago, we became very good friends and he convinced me to leave everything and move to his country. I have been complaining and I have been acting bad towards him, because my ex was constantly annoying me, making me feel so guilty for our rupture. 3 months after moving together, during a visit in my country (my mother being very sick), he felt in love with someone else and he told me that we have to brake up, because a real man never cheats and he thinks his love was not strong enough, even though he had the best intentions with us. He bought an apartment for us, he did his very best, we had huge plans, but he gave up so fast after meeting the other woman. In the time I have been in my country, things complicated bad, I have lost my mother and he started feeling even more guilty and bad for not being near me. My ex has been near me during all the bad moments and eventually we ended up again together, living together. I feel absolutely miserable because of being back with him, when I am constantly thinking about my ex. I cannot stop blaming myself and I do not know how to get him back. We had huge plans and I have acting very bad to him. I tried everything to get him back, but actually all my “techniques” pushed him away. I suffocated him with emails, messages, love letters, phone calls, etc. We still hear from time to time telling me that he doesn’t want me to be with anyone and wondering always how I am, but he doesn’t move at all, saying that his love is not strong enough to have future plans, but he drinks to pass over it. There is any possibility of getting my love back? What would you do if you were me? All the best, Micky.
Cmac Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 First thing you need to do is break up with your current partner. It's not fair on them when you have all these feelings for someone else. 1
TaraMaiden Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 One: This isn't a Love story. It's just another tale of 'Act in haste, repent at leisure'. Two - know when to quit. That would be - now. 1
Author MickyNL Posted March 7, 2012 Author Posted March 7, 2012 I totally agree...I am working on it...I do not want to hurt him at all, but I believe also that the very first step is being alone. I get all the selfish thoughts of being afraid of being alone..And I am only 27...Like my world will end without that man... I am a very optimistic person, but I have been passing hell lately...Hell that partly III have created for myself! I tend complicating things useless!! Thanks a lot for your advice and good luck!!!
2sunny Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Stop relying on any man to provide for you... Including your happiness! Be on your own! Support yourself! Stop using men as your emotional and monetary crutch. You can change that part of it!
Author MickyNL Posted March 7, 2012 Author Posted March 7, 2012 Stop relying on any man to provide for you... Including your happiness! Be on your own! Support yourself! Stop using men as your emotional and monetary crutch. You can change that part of it! It's not the case of relying on them financially...I would say just the opposite, maybe you understand wrong my post! Anyway ty!
2sunny Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 It's not the case of relying on them financially...I would say just the opposite, maybe you understand wrong my post! Anyway ty! Really? Then why did you move with them? That helps YOU financially... Stand on your own - emotionally as well as financially. Stop relying on men to serve you up the attention.
itsourchoice Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Really? Then why did you move with them? That helps YOU financially... Stand on your own - emotionally as well as financially. Stop relying on men to serve you up the attention. Wow, I'm not sure that is really fair. We get into relationships because we want to be happy with another person in our lives. In order for that to happen, we have to let that person into our world, our hearts, and yes, they can, to some extent dictate our happiness. I can see the financial part, but the emotional part... if someone in our lives is having a difficult time or is giving us a difficult time, it is going to effect us on some level.
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