sakura91 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I met with my ex today and eventually we decided to try again, differently. I'm posting here because so many people think that second chances don't happen and wonder why people never post about them. We met, talked, I told him how I've changed, he listened but didn't seem to believe me, he said he didn't want a relationship and started spouting rubbish...he told me that the time apart has been fine for him and not as hard as he was expecting it to, and that it didn't matter what he said when he broke up with me (ie about staying close, being best friends). He actually said he felt indifferent to me. I knew that was a lie. He also said he didn't miss the sex, another lie. Then he got a text on his phone from a girl and asked if it made me feel jealous, I said no, I had no reason to be jealous- she's just a friend. Somehow the conversation turned nice again and deciding how we can stay in each other's lives. Then (for some reason) I kissed him and the rest is history. He pretty much laid down the law about how we're going to be different now and said we might as well try it because he's bored of debating it. Apparently this is a 'trial period'. Ohh and he kept me dangling for a week and a half saying he didn't know what he wanted, in the mean time having a great time and at the end deciding he didn't actually want a relationship. (I think actually, he would quite like one, he just wants a 'relaxed' one as he put it rather than our intense overwhelming old one). So yeah. Reconciliations happen, but don't expect them to be what you dreamt of if they do. My housemates are so angry with me for getting back together with him. I KNOW I've been treated badly yet I'm so desperate to be with this guy I don't care. He even asked me himself why I think he's worth it. I hope if he doesn't change and start caring about me, I'll have the strength to leave him and be happy by myself. But for now I would quite like to find out if we can be happy together now we've been on the outside of the past relationship and looked at it objectively. My only advice to anyone (as I believe EVERY situation is different) is if someone tells you straight after a relationship that they're not sure and need time to decide, give them a week TOPS. If they need any longer than that, don't waste your time on them. You might as well go and live your life and if and when they come back, then you can consider it.
wilsonx Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 So, for starters, welcome to land of the pain. You have yet to see what you got yourself into. This isnt a reconciliation, you are going to get hurt beyond belief. Read your post again, he doesnt care. 1
CC12 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Yeah, when I started reading this, I thought this was going to be an enlightening story about two people overcoming the odds and deciding to get back together after a lot of personal growth and epiphanies and they lived happily ever after. But here I'm going to be really blunt and you're not going to like it. The story you posted is about one desperate (your word) girl, and a guy who begrudgingly took her back "because he's bored of debating it." This isn't some sort of love story, it's just a sad story. And I'm only telling you this because you seem to think your relationship is a good example of second chances and you feel you're in a position to give unsolicited advice. It is not and you are not. Not yet, anyway.
Author sakura91 Posted March 7, 2012 Author Posted March 7, 2012 Oh, quite the contrary. I don't want anyone else to make the mistakes that I've made. I want people to read this and do the opposite of what I've done. I'm not saying things are going to go well for us, but if they do, I'll write another post about that. 1
chelsea2011 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Wow, good luck with that. Honestly, if someone said to me those things he said to you, I would have stood up, said "f you!" and walked out. Why are you willing to put your own self respect and esteem on the line for this guy? The fact that he said those things knowing how you feel abut him makes him a d*ck...sorry.
TaraMaiden Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Don't you mean.... So he's definitely going to be an @$$hole again, and i'm going to be a doormat again..." Ah yes, I see.... that's more like it, huh?
That Z Guy Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Ya I did this Trial period with my girl and it ended up being crap and a waste of time..A trial is the same as friend zoned almost.."I still have feelings for you but not enough to truly dedicate my self to you". Sure I still have feelings for my ex but were in LC..I rather have that or real friendship over mixed feelings and have assed attempts...Sorry to rain on the parade..
Leigh 87 Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 YOur story is depressing and far from inspirational. Although, I wish you well, and I HOPE you go no contact with him, and get over him. Easier said than done, but it is the best thing for u to do. Staying with him because u want him but he does not care if he has u, is very sad. Please, get some self esteem and dignity, and learn that u can be truly loved by a guy who DOES want to be with yoU BADLY.
Teddy. Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 After a month when my ex bf of 5 yrs broke up with me, i contacted him to see if he'd use the month to think about it, that's exactly what he said... DOES NOT MISS ME IN ANYWAY, and that he's fine being alone and does not want a relationship with me. --- you should not think of it as "it's a lie", it maybe the truth of the time. Up to today, 5 months of it, he has yet to say anything to me. and based on all the smack he said to me, i've concluded that it's finally over between us. I do wish to have the chance to work something out, but i doubt that will happen because he pretty much "took the easy way out" and "gave up"
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