loveydove Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with the facebook situation after a painful breakup? Is it better to try to look ok and flirt on facebook, and make them jealous, or to restrict them to add to mystery and keep you from posting with them in mind? I am currently doing the latter... I am very interested to know any advice I can get on this topic, and I couldn't find a thread about it yet, so please post!! Thanks!
Falcon25 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Delete the account and go ghost. You need facebook to live? GO GHOST. make them wonder.......
Author loveydove Posted March 7, 2012 Author Posted March 7, 2012 I am not going to delete my facebook account, it keeps me in contact with many people I know all over the country, and also aids in networking for my career. Which would leave me to block him - and doesn't that seem immature?
Falcon25 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Then you have your answer, why did you ask this question? I would either delete it, or them. Good luck.
Author loveydove Posted March 7, 2012 Author Posted March 7, 2012 Because I wanted to know if it is better to restrict or to play into it, I didn't ask about deleting an account. But thanks for your advice, I do appreciate the response! Perhaps I will delete him..
Cmac Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Flirting to make them jealous is incredibly childish. Don't do that.
CaliBabe Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Goodness! I am going through the same thing right now but with my new guy. I want to end things and I am also curious about the best way to handle this. I am leaning towards deleting him as it will keep me from FB stalking him and I'm sure him FB stalking me. I'd rather NOT see his posts, what he is doing and who he is with, if he is with a new girl, etc. Seems like it would just be better for both parties, it's just a matter of who has the balls to unfriend first.
agrj26 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Just block her.Especially if you are the dumpee.. I did the same yesterday with my Ex.. To be honest I even got a weird friend request which I did not accept. I am not saying it is her but you never know... 1
M2155 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I remained FBF and ignored his feed (eventually). It did more harm than good. I thought about doing the looking happy thing too but how sad if he is sitting at home glued to your FB? It's stupid. Then he went ghost and it was a HUGE weight lifted not to even have the temptation. Now I couldn't give a rat's behind what he posts (actually I still hide it because I don't need to know) and I feel silly to block him 6 months later, but I wish I had done so like all the people here told me in the first place. My new feeling is people with real lives aren't posting everything on FB. Now I'm curious more when I rarely see posts than seeing them appear to be having fun. I post on LS way more than FB now lol. Yeah...not sure what that says about me:rolleyes:
Gigi70 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Facebook. What a dilemma that little piece of 'useful' networking tool has caused so many of us. To block or not to block? To delete or not to delete? IMO, all advice is useless when it comes to FB after a BU. Sure, you can block them. BUT you can UNblock them. You can delete them, sure. BUT you can still see their profile page unless THEY have blocked YOU. So...it's a sick game, which we are drawn to play. Solution to this FB dilemma? There are 3: 1) Don't be on FB. 2) Move on and grow up. 3) Keep checking and get hurt...eventually. There is NO way out of this thing unless you are steadfast in your position to cut them out of your life. Until you are, there is NO solution to your problem...IMHO. 1
veggirl Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 So, deleting/blocking someone WHO IS NO LONGER IN YOUR LIFE because you BROKE UP is immature, but flirting to make them jealous, and purposely trying to maintain a sense of mystery is mature?! Cmon! What purpose does it serve you to keep your ex on fb? Who CARES what they think if you delete them? Is keeping your ex as a fb friend helping you move on? Is it a positive experience for you? I'd imagine it's not; I'd imagine it's causing anxiety and stress, based on your post. So WHY? Why do that to yourself? Delete! And Block! 3
Million.to.1 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I have my Ex on a restricted profile and he has me on one at my request. I didn't want to Delete him or block him as we have alot of mutual friends and the B-U was civil, so really, there are no hard feelings on either end. We did it the day of the break-up and it's been like that ever since. I was totally honest to him about not wanting see things that may upset me or have a any reason to waste time stalking him. He is a prolific F/b poster and is always online. As the dumpee, and the one who insisted on this FB arrangement, I suppose it is my responsibility to decide when I'm ok to be his friend in fake ol' FB land. It's been 3 months, and I feel pretty much moved on, But will probably leave it as it is until i bump into him again in person and we reconnect in reality first. Hopefully by then, it will be nice to see him and know he is happy without my heart going "pang". Time is all you need. Do what is right for you.
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 So, deleting/blocking someone WHO IS NO LONGER IN YOUR LIFE because you BROKE UP is immature, but flirting to make them jealous, and purposely trying to maintain a sense of mystery is mature?! Cmon! What purpose does it serve you to keep your ex on fb? Who CARES what they think if you delete them? Is keeping your ex as a fb friend helping you move on? Is it a positive experience for you? I'd imagine it's not; I'd imagine it's causing anxiety and stress, based on your post. So WHY? Why do that to yourself? Delete! And Block! I agree with veggirl; my ex played those fb games with me starting by restricting his wall so I couldn't post or comment. That was hurtful enough, then he took his wall down so I couldn't see it, but still kept me on as a fb friend. One more disagreement with him about something hurtful he did and then he blocked me just like that. Stupid games. Just block/delete. There is no need to play jealousy games; that only reflects on you. Be the better person.
D-Lish Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Delete him and block him. My ex broke up with me and the first thing I did was delete him from my facebook. It's not a childish act, it's a necessary act to get over the break up. Using FB as an avenue to make an ex jealous IS childish. I wouldn't go there. 1
whichwayisup Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I am not going to delete my facebook account, it keeps me in contact with many people I know all over the country, and also aids in networking for my career. Which would leave me to block him - and doesn't that seem immature? Are you two in no contact mode? If so, then just block him. No it isn't immature. Why would you want to keep someone who hurt you and won't be in your life anymore on your facebook? If you can, you should not only block him but delete him off your friends list too. this will do two things, 1 - Help you heal without wondering if he's fb stalking you and 2 - You won't be fb stalking him wondering what he is up to. Before facebook came along, people would break up, and go on with their lives. Now it seems fb is a sneaky way to keep tabs on someone without actually having to talk to them, especially since you two are no longer together. 1
KissingItBetter Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 What I hate about break ups involving facebook is that, these couples throw rants to each other's page. It's so immature. Kissingitbetter | Facebook
Phanpooh Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 i just created a new fb account, added "real friends" to keep contact, and my ex is so nice, she ignored me 100%, blocked fb, but start to use Twitter more, with a new account, to show her "love" with rebound, at begin, it's hard to avoid it but now, i just don't care about it. exactly i don't have time to care about girls or online stuffing...
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 What I hate about break ups involving facebook is that, these couples throw rants to each other's page. It's so immature. Kissingitbetter | Facebook I had that done to me. My ex was furious with me because I sought out his ex wife for answers and some of his friends friend requested me. I heard that he put on his wall that people are to beware of me===he put my full name, that I am a monster, liar and psycho, that I caused him drama, etc. I was cyber bullied on a friend's wall by 3 of his minions. I kindly asked them in an inbox to please stop, that I can gladly explain what really went down, that we are all adults. They blocked me. The friend on whose wall this happened, sent out an inbox defending me, saying they are being immature, etc. I am still blocked. One woman unblocked me for a few days and blocked me again. What was that all about? My ex, before he blocked me, while he was still on my list, proceeded to systematically delete any nice comment he said on my pictures. Anything I put on his wall, he deleted as if I did not exist. Do I love/miss him? No. But what I am trying to heal from is the fact that I can't defend myself, he lied about me and people believed it, he treated me as if I did not exist after having a relationship. How does one do that to another person?
Meaplus3 Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Oh dear. Yet another FB post. I swear that place can be EVIL. Ok. Now.. Simply delete the person and block them. This way you can't see them on FB to you they no longer exist. I've done it with rude people. Good luck. Mea
Author loveydove Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 Ok I did it! you guys were right. Even though I was being good about not looking at his wall, his picture kept popping up, until one day I gave in and saw that he looks really happy. Killed me inside, and I blocked that mother *********. : ) Thanks for your help!
SoulFinger Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Yes the best thing is just block and delete that's what I did it stops all the nonsense.
g450 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I have my Ex on a restricted profile and he has me on one at my request. I didn't want to Delete him or block him as we have alot of mutual friends and the B-U was civil, so really, there are no hard feelings on either end. We did it the day of the break-up and it's been like that ever since. I was totally honest to him about not wanting see things that may upset me or have a any reason to waste time stalking him. He is a prolific F/b poster and is always online. As the dumpee, and the one who insisted on this FB arrangement, I suppose it is my responsibility to decide when I'm ok to be his friend in fake ol' FB land. It's been 3 months, and I feel pretty much moved on, But will probably leave it as it is until i bump into him again in person and we reconnect in reality first. Hopefully by then, it will be nice to see him and know he is happy without my heart going "pang". Time is all you need. Do what is right for you. What you posted doest make sense. You either do not understand how FB works or you are sideskirting the issue because you want an excuse to play games with your ex on fb. Which is it? Why do you need him on facebook? Why did you request access to him? Are you the type that craves drama perhaps? Easy answer, you dont need your ex on fb. There is a little option called "block" on FB. Use it. Why torture yourself? . You are both done. Block him. You have absolutely no reason to not block him. It doesnt block your mutual friends, it only blocks him from seeing you and you from seeing him. This IS what you want. You are making this sound harder than it really is. Block him and your done. It's just that simple. It doesnt change anything else on FB.
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