FitChick Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Says the poster who pulls out the Lefkoe Method as the solution for every single problem. Pot, kettle. At least I have a productive solution that is proven to work. How is whining working out for ya, honey?
verhrzn Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 So you have had boyfriends in your past. Other threads you've said no man wants you or has ever looked your way. I see now that is not true. Glad to hear that you can in fact attract a mate. At the risk of "hijacking" (since I can't seem to PM you), I don't think those experiences really count as "attracting" a mate when the guy is dating you not because he's actually attracted to you, but out of boredom, desperation, etc. Would you say a woman is good at "attracting" men if the only ones who will date her are unemployed abusive jerks? Back to the thread, does anyone really think "extra padding" is anything but a nice term for fat? If someone told YOU you had "extra padding," would you really file that away as a compliment?
verhrzn Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 At least I have a productive solution that is proven to work. How is whining working out for ya, honey? Much better than spending thousands of dollars on an Internet scam. And how exactly are you offering anything "productive" in this thread, except taking the occassion to bully me... when I am actually trying to give advice to the OP based on my past experiences? Oh, that's right, you feel better about yourself by putting other people down! I keep forgetting how closely that seems to be tied with your magical Lefkoe Method.
xxoo Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Back to the thread, does anyone really think "extra padding" is anything but a nice term for fat? If someone told YOU you had "extra padding," would you really file that away as a compliment? If he said it with admiration and desire, absolutely. My H loved my "extra padding" before I lost the baby weight. He enjoyed the heck out of it while it lasted!
stillafool Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Would you say a woman is good at "attracting" men if the only ones who will date her are unemployed abusive jerks? I didn't say you were good at attacting men, I said you can get one. Doesn't matter if he is an unemployed jerk, he's still a man. Back to the thread, does anyone really think "extra padding" is anything but a nice term for fat? If someone told YOU you had "extra padding," would you really file that away as a compliment? Depends on whether he liked "extra padding" or not.
verhrzn Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I didn't say you were good at attacting men, I said you can get one. Doesn't matter if he is an unemployed jerk, he's still a man. Ah well, ya caught me. I guess being able to "get" a guy who isn't at all attracted to me, totally negates all my complaints about dating! Depends on whether he liked "extra padding" or not. Which the OP's bf doesn't seem to like... being that he has a history of preferring skinny women, and seeing chubby women as unattractive.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 God, you guys are cruel. I am responding to HER cruelty. Have a threesome and then DUMP HIM. Nice. Now you're even suggesting it's HER who is broken.... not her bf who is dating someone he's not that attracted to! I don't know if he's "broken" or not. Probably is, since he is dating a person who does not have enough self esteem to be dating at all … and planning to have a threesome with her. But he's not posting here. She is. And she's "broken." No doubt she is fixable, but not right now, since she is not even looking at herself at all in this situation. and he's been pushing for a threesome. No, he's not. She wants to and she thinks he'll love it. But obviously she can't handle what SHE has set in motion. And tell HER to stay out of relationships until she's "relationship material." Geez. Yip. A person who is going to "dump" a guy because he said something she didn't like about her body (which she probably prodded and pushed until he said … like you would do) but first, have a threesome with a "skinny" girl so he can then go off with said "skinny" girl that they "picked out" together so he can "be happy," according to this person … Nope. Not in ANY emotional condition to be in a relationship.
verhrzn Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I am responding to HER cruelty. Have a threesome and then DUMP HIM. Nice. I don't know if he's "broken" or not. Probably is, since he is dating a person who does not have enough self esteem to be dating at all … and planning to have a threesome with her. But he's not posting here. She is. And she's "broken." No doubt she is fixable, but not right now, since she is not even looking at herself at all in this situation. No, he's not. She wants to and she thinks he'll love it. But obviously she can't handle what SHE has set in motion. Yip. A person who is going to "dump" a guy because he said something she didn't like about her body (which she probably prodded and pushed until he said … like you would do) but first, have a threesome with a "skinny" girl so he can then go off with said "skinny" girl that they "picked out" together so he can "be happy," according to this person … Nope. Not in ANY emotional condition to be in a relationship. I've already quoted it once, but didn't the OP specifically say it's a big fantasy of her BF, that he seems unsatisfied, etc? I guess that and "pushing for it" are subjective terms. I don't see that much of a difference. Now, I don't necessarily agree with her plan (threesomes aren't necessarily my style, and I usually wait for the guy to cheat/break up with me) but I don't necessarily see the cruelty in it. He would get to fulfill his fantasy, and she could get herself out of a bad situation (her boyfriend makes her feel bad about her body.) So, would you mind explaining for my broken-and-fat self, what's so bad about it?
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 If she is not happy with him, feels undesired by him, etc. then the "stand up" thing to do is …. (drum roll) try to work through it, if it is worthwhile to her, or break up in a straightforward and honest way. Duh. 2
verhrzn Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 If she is not happy with him, feels undesired by him, etc. then the "stand up" thing to do is …. (drum roll) try to work through it, if it is worthwhile to her, or break up in a straightforward and honest way. Duh. Define "straightforward and honest way." More specifically, how is breaking up after a threesome because she thinks he's more attracted to the other girl not straight or honest? And how exactly do someone "work through" a bf not being physically attracted to you? Be poly?
Kamille Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 WTF You women need to stop creating drama by making such a huge deal over nothing. Really? We women? You're going to put all the women in the same category as the OP and vrhrzn? (No offence to either of them) 1
Imajerk17 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Really? We women? You're going to put all the women in the same category as the OP and vrhrzn? (No offence to either of them) I did not put all women in the same category. As vrhrzn and OP are women, and very annoying ones at that (hopefully they DO take offence at that and change) I referred to them as "you women".
RiverRunning Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I think this is why the Internet obsession with being overweight, messages like "fat girls have to settle, fat girls are unattractive, fat girls are (insert negative thing here" has to stop. You set yourself up for potential disaster when you asked him what he thought your potential body type might be - that said, I think you're reading into his comments too much. i.e., he provided an objective statement on what he thinks your weight is, and you read this as, "He must think I'm unattractive, he doesn't want me, etc." You know what? 'Fat' girls, 'morbidly obese' girls, 'chubby' girls, 'skinny' girls, 'underweight' girls, etc., find love all the time. It doesn't mean that their boyfriends aren't attracted to them, or that they're 'settling.' People prefer all sorts of different things physically. I get a bit of a giggle when I hear men make comments like, "I could never date a girl who's 30 - 50 pounds overweight, that's SO fat." Then the next thing you know, they're dating a girl who's likely that overweight - only they don't know it, because people in general have such screwed-up perceptions of how overweight or underweight a person is. It's been a hurdle for me as well - I'm a bit into the 'obese' category - when people in the past have made comments about me being 'chubby' or 'big' or 'curvy.' Those are such loaded words in our culture - because so very often they DO mean "unattractive," "ugly," etc. in the public eye - that when we hear them, we automatically read into them too, forgetting the context in which it was all spoken. I think it would be a good idea to lay off the idea of a possible threesome for now. The twosome could use more work first. Now, I don't think there's anything wrong with watching what you eat, working out, etc. But the fact is, a LOT of women are killing themselves for 2 extra pounds or to wipe away a miniscule amount of fat on their bodies that they're genetically predisposed to carrying. At some point, you can't fight your genetics anymore and you just have to accept it is what it is. I really do think that's why there are so many women routinely getting chopped up on a plastic surgeon's table every year, and why they will continue to be desperately unhappy with their looks and their bodies for as long as they live. This is going to impact you, OP, and it obviously already has - but no one, NO ONE, has a perfect body. And even those who claim to have a perfect body, I'd bet, would still find they're still fairly unhappy even after accomplishing the one thing that was supposed to make them feel better. I think women in general live vacuous lives in the present day. Look through these forums, some of the posts that women (and men alike) make. It's like "Looking Good" is the #1 priority for many of them, to the expense of all of the other things that make them people. Appearances are fleeting - that's not to say that you shouldn't try to be healthy and shouldn't try to exercise, but someday you'll wrinkle, you'll get gray hair, etc. And then what's left? You find you've spent 40 or 50 years working on a body, only to find you've never really worked out any of the other facets of your being. You are more than a body, OP. That goes for all of the other women here. Continue to exercise, but I do urge everyone to try and find some other facet of themselves - be it their generous personality, their intelligence, something - to promote and hone. 5
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 You got it all right River Wild. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what the feelings are of the people in this thread. The OP's boyfriend made a comment, it made her feel something, she needs to simply articulate that to him, and they can go from there. She is allowed to have feelings. She is allowed to feel bothered by comments her boyfriend makes. Just as he is allowed to. Just because some of you wouldn't be bothered by it doesn't mean you get to dictate to her what her feelings should be. She simply needs to communicate with her boyfriend. That is what relationships are about. And ususally these things bring you closer. 1
stillafool Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Ah well, ya caught me. I guess being able to "get" a guy who isn't at all attracted to me, totally negates all my complaints about dating! He was attracted to you enough to have sex with you, correct? Which the OP's bf doesn't seem to like... being that he has a history of preferring skinny women, and seeing chubby women as unattractive. He never said he didn't like it, she assumed that. We all know what happens when one ASS U ME's something.
verhrzn Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I did not put all women in the same category. As vrhrzn and OP are women, and very annoying ones at that (hopefully they DO take offence at that and change) I referred to them as "you women". And, exactly why should I take offense that a stranger on the Internet thinks I'm annoying? I should change for you, whose screenname states quite clearly that they are a jerk? That's quite a high opinion you have of yourself.
soserious1 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I've been dating my boyfriend for about 6 months. Last night we were filling out a form on a couples site to look for a potential third (I'm bi and have had good experiences with threesomes; he has never had one before.) When we got to "body type," I asked him what mine would be, because I can never figure it out. After some hesitation, he said I am somewhere between "average" and "some extra padding." AKA, he thinks I'm fat. I didn't yell at my boyfriend or anything, but I pulled away, and didn't want him to touch me after. He figured out why I was upset, and said he was just trying to be honest. He said he is very attracted to me, and that if they had the option he would have suggested "curvy." I got quite upset by this. I am trying to diet and lose weight, but losing weight around my stomach is very very difficult for me. My boyfriend encourages me but he has never said anything negative about my weight before. I am 5'2" and about 120 pounds. I now feel terrible. How could a guy be attracted to someone he thinks is overweight? Guys hate fat chicks, right? I know hes been with some very attractive women before me, though I am the first girl he's dated seriously. How could he stay with me, when he could have hot women? I thought I WAS one of those women, but I guess I was wrong. Should I break up with him, before he cheats on me? Is he already cheating on me because he thinks I'm so hideous? What should I do? How ya doing verhrzn?
verhrzn Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 How ya doing verhrzn? Ha, I wish. Taller, thinner, younger, and able to hold a boyfriend for 6 months. Maybe the OP is Dream Version Me.
soserious1 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Ha, I wish. Taller, thinner, younger, and able to hold a boyfriend for 6 months. Maybe the OP is Dream Version Me. Sorry but I do think the original poster is you the age is changed &, she's just a touch taller but she weighs the same & has all her weight around her belly, plus the posting style, is all too familiar.
verhrzn Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Sorry but I do think the original poster is you the age is changed &, she's just a touch taller but she weighs the same & has all her weight around her belly, plus the posting style, the massive wall of text is all too familiar. Well if it is me, I am pretty impressed at my stupidity. I mean, how unbelievable is it that there's a woman that's almost my height, weight (I'm actually several pounds heavier) and age who thinks her boyfriend finds her fat? Aside from the fact that I'm single, I must be the only person in the world who fits such a description. But I guess the "posting style" seals it. I am the only one who does that, ever. Forget the fact that me posting this thread under an allias would make no sense, whatsoever. But there is absolutely no way for me to prove you wrong. I might as well confess... I am absolutely every single poster you dislike. I guess ya got me! Guess you better put me and all of my "aliases" on Ignore. How sad for you!
soserious1 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Well if it is me, I am pretty impressed at my stupidity. I mean, how unbelievable is it that there's a woman that's almost my height, weight (I'm actually several pounds heavier) and age who thinks her boyfriend finds her fat? Aside from the fact that I'm single, I must be the only person in the world who fits such a description. But I guess the "posting style" seals it. I am the only one who does that, ever. Forget the fact that me posting this thread under an allias would make no sense, whatsoever. But there is absolutely no way for me to prove you wrong. I might as well confess... I am absolutely every single poster you dislike. I guess ya got me! Guess you better put me and all of my "aliases" on Ignore. How sad for you! I think your usual threads complaining about how guys don't find you hot & trying to find ways to guilt people into finding overweight people attractive were starting to grow stale to the regulars. Then like magic, a brand new poster appears with a body type almost exactly like yours & presto! you're up and running again basking in all the attention of forum regulars again.
verhrzn Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I think your usual threads complaining about how guys don't find you hot & trying to find ways to guilt people into finding overweight people attractive were starting to grow stale to the regulars. Then like magic, a brand new poster appears with a body type almost exactly like yours & presto! you're up and running again basking in all the attention of forum regulars again. I believe I have demonstrated that I have no problems starting new threads complaining about just those things. Or, as Fitchick claims, thread-jacking to make threads ALL about me. Heck, she even says I'm thread-jacking this one! So, I made up a whole new account just to complain about something that I already regularly complain about, and then also come along to thread-jack it? But like I said, there's absolutely no way for me to prove otherwise. Woe to any other girls out there who come to the forum with a body type or experience that's even vaguely close to mine... I am apparently so special that you must be me.
ThaWholigan Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I think your usual threads complaining about how guys don't find you hot & trying to find ways to guilt people into finding overweight people attractive were starting to grow stale to the regulars. Then like magic, a brand new poster appears with a body type almost exactly like yours & presto! you're up and running again basking in all the attention of forum regulars again. Doubt it. Although you are right about the repetitiveness, I don't think it's very plausible personally that Verzhn would make a fake account for that purpose.
dasein Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Why not limit your threesome searches to third party women who like fat women? No need to get so upset at your BF, just modify your searches. Be pragmatic about it, or you really aren't thick skinned enough to be engaging in this type of behavior to start with. Are you going to feel hurt if you feel he is paying more attention in bed to her than you? Actually, he is more in danger in that respect IME. Whatever, good luck finding the right match for your threesome.
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