Nice_Person Posted June 8, 2004 Posted June 8, 2004 Hi all, I was recently dumped by my bf of over 7 yrs cos he says he no longer loves me. I am devastated.. we have been sharing the same house for 5 months but not same room... while we sell up. Now he wants to move out cos it's too hard for him to be around me when I'm so upset. So my question is.. does the no contact thing work? Is it a case of 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' or 'out of sight, out of mind'? I'm a nice person and I've done nothing wrong so why is this happening to me? It's true what they say.. "Nice girls do end up last".
azgirl Posted June 8, 2004 Posted June 8, 2004 Yep. Seems that way to me, too. I understand how you feel and it's especially hard when you still live with them. Just try to go about your own business and not be sad all the time. Don't let him see that he gets to you.
Nubemeister Posted June 8, 2004 Posted June 8, 2004 Time does work.... A lot of time... But the whole Nice things end up last...yes I believe that. I believe Im a nice girl but obviously I'm not attractive enough or just ugly...lol What can I say...it's me. But don't let it get to you...it does take time. Just occupy your time, I'm not saying you it's easy but steps at a time..
miz_barby Posted June 8, 2004 Posted June 8, 2004 I have to chime in here...yes it seems nice girls do finish last. I too am not all "that" nor do I fit the normal mold (thin, long hair, cute, whatever) I have always been the "best friend" to the girl who gets all the great guys. The shoulder all the guy's cry on when she hurts them (like those types of girls always do, the type my best friend is anyway) and no matter what I did or didn't do right or wrong it never seemed to be "enough" to land the cute sweet guy we all desire. I didn't think my luck would ever change but luckily I started feeling better having more self confidence and it ALL turned around! I found a great guy (who knows if he is the love of my life but only being 23 right now it sure does feel like it). I love him a lot and vice versa so if my life can turn around anyone's can! My advice to you is keep your head up and like the others said don't let him see that he's gotten you destroyed! Number one that's too much pressure on a guy (I think) and number two he doesn't need to know he has that much power over how you feel! I think (as everyone says) time heals most wounds so I think you'll be okay! But 7 years is a really really long time! If he can move on all of a sudden then Girl you deserve better but can I ask what made you two decide to stop sharing rooms for the 5 months before he left??
rd1978 Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 no no you have it all wrong see nice guys finish last,,,
Nice_Person Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 miz_barby, to answer your question.. we split 5 months ago and have been sleeping seperately ever since which I suppose has been good .. only now is he going to move out and quite frankly I am devastated... it's not fair... my mistake was that I thought love was unconditional .. He finds it so easy to move on - goes out every night, goes on hols.. acts like our time together meant nothing.. is this what guys do? It's just not fair and I know it's mean of me but I hope that one day he knows how this feels I hope he regrets his decision when he moves out... and I hope I get the chance to tell him where to stick it!
faux Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Originally posted by Nice_Person So my question is.. does the no contact thing work? Is it a case of 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' or 'out of sight, out of mind'? I think it would be good if you realize this is over, and move on as quickly as possible. Do not hold much onto hope right now. The "no contact" thing is to allow you to realize that things have ended, so that you can get over the pain sooner than later. If you are looking at "no contact" as a means to fix the now ended relationship, you won't have any luck. Focus on this: The relationship is ended. Do not have any contact. Whatever happens will happen. Is it possible that he might change his mind in the future? Yes. But don't hold onto that thought. It is time to move on, be strong, and not feel sorry for yourself because of your situation. Also, do not think that you did anything wrong and feel that you need to "fix" things. I'm a nice person and I've done nothing wrong so why is this happening to me? Being a self-proclaimed "nice person" does not mean that bad things should not happen to you. Bad things happen to everyone, and not simply the whole "Bad things happen to good people" myth. Again: Bad things happen to everyone. Life is a struggle. Honestly, bad things just happen; there is usually no "reason" for them to happen. It's true what they say.. "Nice girls do end up last". It is actually "Nice guys finish last" which is said, and none of that is true. It could be better phrased: Those who allow others to use them, and bend over backwards, never standing up for themselves, always finish last.
uriel Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Wise, wise words, faux. Take them to heart, and you'll heal that much faster. -- uriel
WWDDFD Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 I love nice girls. But I can't stand them at the same time. Every single time I find a nice girl, I fall incredibly hard for her, and then she never has the guts to tell me that it just isn't going to work out. For some reason, "nice" people think that hiding the truth hurts less than just tearing my heart out right away. It doesn't. You're supposed to rip band-aids off as fast as possible. The pain is intense, but it's gone in seconds.
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