djmm Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 i met this girl at work in late Sept. I knew about her before that but started working with her more on a daily basis. We hit it off quite well right away, she seem interested, lots of texting, emailing, seemed interested in me personally, we hung out outside of work one night and we stayed up all night until 5am, had some drinks, she felt more comfortable, sitting on couch, laying against me, then sitting on my lap, making hints about furthering it, but i denied it saying we work together. Plus I just got out of a 10 year off/on relationship with another co-worker, ha. that is officially over. After that we continued to be friendly, receiving mixed signals for another month but then suddenly, it halted and then the last 3 months, communication via text, email, interpersonal came to a stop only other than work talk. Something definitely changed. yes, after initially denying, i warmed up to the idea and asked her out for drinks, dinner and she wouldnt respond or say no to my efforts. I initiate conversation by questions and most times she doesnt respond. yet she hasnt completely closed the door on me saying "go away" or anything. She left my job and got a new one and she said she'd talk to me soon saying it wasnt a good bye but i dont believe her. She is a workaholic, i think she uses work to cover up her personal issues, she says she talks to no one about anything and has no friends yet she is always on her two phones and texting. i dont think she is being truthful with me, she isnt obligated to tell me anything and i feel like i am on a "I';ll let you know" basis meaning she'll control the relationship, talk to me when she wants, about what she wants, etc... she doesnt respond to most of my texts or emails and i am tired of this one-sided relationship. I have been kind, tolerable, respectful, perhaps too available/accommodating to her, but i am at a GO FOR IT stage where i dont care about the "rules" and I'm at a "if you got nothing, you got nothing to lose" stage. so i persist with her. I know her non-response, non-communication may be her answer, she has confessed to being a "runner" from problems and confessed "being in a weird place in life" but i like answers and concrete information and i know i wont get that most of the time. I am moving on and won't contact her now that she is out of my daily life but i still care about her and think about her and not sure ultimately what to do. I was always very honest with her and didnt hold back how i was feeling. I know people will say move on and that is the right choice but i feel no closure yet and i feel like she isnt being herself with me, i can look past her imperfections and flaws and accept her but it has been frustrating. Thoughts? Thank you.
TeeZee Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 All you can do in relationships is ask for what you want. You did that with her, so good for you. It's overwhelmingly obvious she is not going to reciprocate, so only a blind fool would continue. Stop wondering about how she is, because she doesn't want you in her life! GO FOR IT is a good attitude in life, EXCEPT when you are getting information to stop. She doesn't owe you closure. Find someone who will enjoy how much you care. There are billions of other people out there. Good luck.
Author djmm Posted March 6, 2012 Author Posted March 6, 2012 thanks TeeZee. you are right. she reciprocates but it is only work-related, now she has a new job and i havent heard from her. i dont expect too as she is getting situated there. she reciprocates but it is in guarded way, i dont think she is an expressive, open person like me, i dont expect her to be that way. I am just looking for a friendship with her but at this point, it seems ridiculous.
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