redrose123 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I'm having such a tough time with no contact. It's been 2 weeks since the break up and 9 days since no contact (I broke NC once). It's so hard because I was so good to my ex, I always let him know how much I loved him and I literally did everything for him. He wasn't that great in how he treated me and the break up Completely blind sided me because I thought I was doing everything right. He claimed that he still loved me but wanted us to be happy and gave no real reason as to why he was doing this except for saying he has no time for a relationship right now, which makes no sense since we were together for 2.5 years. He has not initiated contact and I don't understand how it is so easy for him to not talk to me! We talked everyday for the past 2 and a half years. I keep getting the urge to text him but I know that won't Do any good.. I don't know why but I keep hoping he will realize he Made a mistake and come back to me will this ever get any easier? Im going crazy
cerridwen Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 It does get easier. The hardest part is the space you're in right now. I've been there. I know. Hold on. Let time work its magic and please trust it will. I didn't stop breaking NC until the 2nd month I think (see! The details have already faded!). I'd take his calls, answer his texts, just for some alleviation of the pain. I never got the apology. Breaking NC only prolonged my hurt. Once I stuck with it past that second month, healing came fast and furious. The pain abated. I thought about him less. Ignoring his texts and calls became a breeze. Hold on, okay? Healing's coming. 1
lovelylashes Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 hi redrose I just want to say that the urge will go away, just give it time. I know thats the oldest cliche in the book but trust me it works. I was in the same position as you always wanting to break no contact and most times i did, part of the reason was that i thought he would forget me if i didnt text him, and i wanted him to miss me. When in actual fact i was making him want to forget me and pushing him further away and not giving him the space he needed to miss me. Everytime i sent that text and didnt get the reply i was hoping for my heart sank and the process of NC started all over again. A lesson learned but no less painful. So my point is if you give him time to miss you and think about you and the good times, chances are he will contact you. If he doesnt then im sure eventually you will meet someone you love just as much if not more. 2
Author redrose123 Posted March 6, 2012 Author Posted March 6, 2012 Thank you all for the encouragement. Especially lovelylashes, .. I guess I'm scared if we don't have any contact he will just forget about me but I know he's not worth it then! It's just so hard this is the worst feeling in the world.. Did you ex ever contact you after you went NC?
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 Thank you all for the encouragement. Especially lovelylashes, .. I guess I'm scared if we don't have any contact he will just forget about me but I know he's not worth it then! It's just so hard this is the worst feeling in the world.. Did you ex ever contact you after you went NC? He won't forget you because you were together. But if he wants to call, he will call, unless he is trapped under something heavy and can't' get to the phone. My ex contacted me after our breakup. He texted a few times, but I ignored. He dumped me. I stay dumped. He was also verbally and mentally abusive to me; after a cruel dumping, he happily asks how I am, etc.? Had I responded, it would have hindered my healing. Do not call him. You won't get what you need from that; it would only open a wound.
loveydove Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 I am going through the same thing! I am have gone NC since the break up a couple weeks ago. I feel like I am without closure, and I want to ask him, like are we seriously never going to talk again?? We've been best friends and soul mates for years. I've never been so heartbroken. I want to try to move on, but I keep thinking if I let it go for good, it will never come back to me. And I really thought he was the guy for so long. I don't want it to just be over. I don't want him to be out of my life. But I want him to want to be with me, I don't want to try to manipulate him back into my life. I keep thinking we'll get through this like everything else, but this time is different. I wish I could get it through my skull. But how do you give up on your soulmate?
bluewolf17 Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 Hang in there. I am on NC day 7. Would have been NC 14 if he hadn't called me at work.. Trust me, you don't want to contact him. Now what I think about? Sending a text message to him on his birthday tommorow, and not getting a reply. And nothing has changed. Hold your head up high, and don't reach out. Silence sends a very loud message. 1
loveydove Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 but what if they never reach out? I dont want to feel like I shouldn't have held onto my pride and let go so easily. on the other hand, I don't want to lose what dignity I have.
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 I am going through the same thing! I am have gone NC since the break up a couple weeks ago. I feel like I am without closure, and I want to ask him, like are we seriously never going to talk again?? We've been best friends and soul mates for years. I've never been so heartbroken. I want to try to move on, but I keep thinking if I let it go for good, it will never come back to me. And I really thought he was the guy for so long. I don't want it to just be over. I don't want him to be out of my life. But I want him to want to be with me, I don't want to try to manipulate him back into my life. I keep thinking we'll get through this like everything else, but this time is different. I wish I could get it through my skull. But how do you give up on your soulmate? If he is your soulmate, he can be a man and contact you.
loveydove Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 True. Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it.
Author redrose123 Posted March 7, 2012 Author Posted March 7, 2012 I think the hardest part is knowing that I'll never get to Tell him I love him again or hug him or just be with him and it seems like he is just ok with that. It sucks to feel like you never meant anything to someone who Means so much to you!! I'm hoping NC will start to help me forget soon
CopingGal Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I don't think he was your soulmate. If he was, he would not have done that to you. He would have treated you better in the relationship too. I've been NC for about 65 days--straight NC. I was NC off and on for 5 months and boy did it prolong the pain. It also kept me connected to someone who was psycholgically/emotionally abusive. If I had gone straight NC from the beginning, I would be so much better off now. I think about breaking NC all the time and telling him for the umpteenth time how much he hurt me...but thinking of how bad he treated me gives me strength not to break NC. Breaking NC for me only made things worse because he is an insensitive jackass. Stay strong. Stay strong. Stay strong.
lovelylashes Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Thank you all for the encouragement. Especially lovelylashes, .. I guess I'm scared if we don't have any contact he will just forget about me but I know he's not worth it then! It's just so hard this is the worst feeling in the world.. Did you ex ever contact you after you went NC? Your welcome to any encouragement and advice i can offer, i hope it helps . One thing i realised is that he cant forget about you, its impossible to erase, in your situaton 2.5 years. Just dont do what i did and replace all the good memories with memories of hounding and harassing them untill they tell you to leave them alone. They are the memories I left my ex with and in doing so I justified all the reasons he ended it. He did contact me after a few days of me not texting him, but it wasnt to get back with me, he just wondered why i hadnt been in touch . Every relationship is different and im not sure if your ex will contact you again but its likely that somewhere in the future your paths will cross, but maybe by then you will have already met your soul mate. And you will be able to have the last laugh. Im at the point now where i am tired of all the mind games, basically i couldnt care less whether i ever speak to him again, and I really hope you get to that point in the future.
lilyblue Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 I hope it gets easier eventually. I still want to, almost 6 months in.
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