Dealing With Husband's Affair

[The Blue Knight]

It's been one month today I see from your OP Sandie. Just checked the thread and all is quiet. I hope that's a good sign on the home front.

[findingnemo]

LOL, TBK. I am well aware of our cultural differences. Sometimes I wish we could all merge somehow. Pick up the good stuff from different cultures and throw out the bad. Utopia????

 

Sandie, I'm glad you posted an update. I hope things are getting better even by a little bit. Take one day at a time...

 

{{{{Hugs}}}}

[SandieBeach]

It's been one month today I see from your OP Sandie. Just checked the thread and all is quiet. I hope that's a good sign on the home front.

 

You know, TBK, as you and everyone can relate, this whole thing is truly an emotional roller coaster. I have my good days and bad days, but I begin to sound like a broken record when I keep focusing on the same bad things. That's the hardest part for me. Our relationship is as good as it can be given the circumstances (whooptie-do! ), but my body is still in the "fight-or-flight" stage - I guess I am waiting for another bomb shell to drop or something. So far, no new revelations, he is as attentive as ever, is looking forward to our future and keeps saying all the right things. I, on the other hand, am not easily able to move on past the betrayal.

 

We'll see how things go. I do want to say that this board has been so helpful to me - thanks all for offering advice and giving me feedback. I am going to continue staying on and hopefully be as helpful to others, and of course, if anything in my situation changes, I will be posting it all!

[The Blue Knight]

You know, TBK, as you and everyone can relate, this whole thing is truly an emotional roller coaster. I have my good days and bad days, but I begin to sound like a broken record when I keep focusing on the same bad things. That's the hardest part for me. Our relationship is as good as it can be given the circumstances (whooptie-do! ), but my body is still in the "fight-or-flight" stage - I guess I am waiting for another bomb shell to drop or something. So far, no new revelations, he is as attentive as ever, is looking forward to our future and keeps saying all the right things. I, on the other hand, am not easily able to move on past the betrayal.

 

We'll see how things go. I do want to say that this board has been so helpful to me - thanks all for offering advice and giving me feedback. I am going to continue staying on and hopefully be as helpful to others, and of course, if anything in my situation changes, I will be posting it all!

 

Hi and Happy Resurrection Day!

 

Yep, I can see why you're waiting for another bomb to drop. I think that's normal and for someone like you, it's about going into self-preservation mode by avoiding getting "to close" because we don't want to be taken for being a fool a second time. Only T-I-M-E will heal this if that's going to happen. I see too many people here offering what I consider to be fast-food advise when these infidelity threads get posted. Just not realistic given the history that people have with their spouses.

 

You won't ever completely get past it Sandie, but at the same time if your hubby can earn back your trust, two years from now, if all is still going great, you won't dwell on it and you'll feel like life is for the most part back to normal. What people who tell you to send them packing often forget is that second marriages have a greater failure rate than first marriages. From my vantage point, better to know what you have and deal with over coming the mistakes of the marriage and saving it then to move on and start over (hypothetically) not knowing anything about the history of the next man you get involved with.

 

Boy, I'm hoping your husband is all that you said he was. I want to see a success story. Too many of these "they cheated on me" threads just don't turn out very good.