Lad123 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Hi All, I'm 3 weeks NC now and 5 weeks since BU. I have made a little progress in the last week. At the moment I seem to just look forward to sleeping. But as soon as i wake up I start thinking all over again. I feel like I am constantly having to force myself to beleive that She isn't coming back. That she has made her schoice to stay in another country and see other men. I am constantly having to reason with myself that I CAN move on like she WILL have done and that I shouldn't want her as she doesn't want me. But still after all that has been said to me, by herself and by my friends. I still want her back (after a some begging on her part tho) and I'd be will do try hard to make myself better, work on my shyness and bridge the long distance. I miss her so much. I'm feeling like I should reactivate my profile on facebook and see photos of her with ther lads she has met to try and force this into my head that its over and that she doesn't miss me. Has anyone ever had this battle abd/or would recommend logging back into facebook for this purpose. I'm trying hard to not let this beat me.....but at the moment it is! Thankyou
mymission Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I have been no contact but haven't removed him off facebook or anything. I'd rather he sees I'm getting on with my life. He doesn't really update his page much though. I bet when if you re-activate it and look on her profile there won't be any pictures of her with blokes. So it may make you get false hope then. But I have false hope as well lol!
Philosoraptor Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I would avoid anything that could bring you more pain. What you need right now is to continue to work on yourself and fostering your own growth.
rach24680 Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 Hi All, I'm 3 weeks NC now and 5 weeks since BU. I have made a little progress in the last week. At the moment I seem to just look forward to sleeping. But as soon as i wake up I start thinking all over again. I feel like I am constantly having to force myself to beleive that She isn't coming back. That she has made her schoice to stay in another country and see other men. I am constantly having to reason with myself that I CAN move on like she WILL have done and that I shouldn't want her as she doesn't want me. But still after all that has been said to me, by herself and by my friends. I still want her back (after a some begging on her part tho) and I'd be will do try hard to make myself better, work on my shyness and bridge the long distance. I miss her so much. I'm feeling like I should reactivate my profile on facebook and see photos of her with ther lads she has met to try and force this into my head that its over and that she doesn't miss me. Has anyone ever had this battle abd/or would recommend logging back into facebook for this purpose. I'm trying hard to not let this beat me.....but at the moment it is! Thankyou If you start looking on facebook at her ul never stop. Dont get infatuated, if u feel ur making progress doing what ur doing then keep it up!! Ur doing something right, dont spoil it! =)
Numb79 Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 Agreed..... stick to NC. Nothing good will come out of looking at her FaceBook. Its a long and tough road.... you have to be proud of yourself of being able to stick to NC for so long. Don't go backwards!
sweetheart5381 Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 Yes, stay NC. It's tough. FB is a dangerous thing with B/Us. I remember breakups way before FB or the internet for that matter... when it's over it's over but FB can prolong the pain because you can fool yourself that you are still connected in a way, but it's nothing more than technologically. FB is a profile, a mask, nothing more or less. To put it gently, the fact that you are still thinking about the B/U (like me unfortunately) means you will analyze and see what you want on her page and use it in whatever way will help you atm... but you can't really see reality when you are still emotionally attached. Easy for me to say I suppose, I can be logical with everyone else but my own heart. That's heartache and why we are all here at LS.
jus d'orange Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 It has been the same amount of time for both of our break-ups, but I have been 100% no contact since the beginning. I did get some information about her from Facebook after the breakup (I unfriended her and told her I wasn't going to be in touch, but I am still friends with her sisters -- I saw a picture of her at home with them, presumably visiting to ground herself after losing me from her life). At first, I really struggled with the loss of love and the loss of a person to talk to. Thus, I really connected with others in my life. I recognized that I was going to be fine. I didn't believe the suffering would ever end, but it has. I am not suffering anymore; I am definitely moving on. I thought of her constantly for a month after she broke it off (that is a hell of a lot of time to think of someone! all waking hours), but now I don't. Simply put, if you do as you have been advised to do here (regarding strict NC, avoiding reminding yourself about the relationship, get on your life, do new things, make goals for the future and work towards them, recognize that it's over and refrain from actively hoping for her return, etc.) the pain WILL end. You WILL move on; it is inevitable. It takes a different amount of time for everyone, but this the fastest, most self-respecting, and ultimately best route you can take to getting a sense of peace back. Just keep going with it. You will be there as soon as your heart permits.
Author Lad123 Posted March 6, 2012 Author Posted March 6, 2012 Thankyou everyone for your replies. I think i was on a severe downer yesterday but i still managed to keep odd facebook...so a its a small victory if anything. I think I've let this situation get to me way too much. So much so that after seeking advice, they suggested that, I may need to be on anti-deppresants. Quite frankly that has scared the c**p out of me. And it has focused my mind somewhat. I need to be better than this, and by my own actions not by a bottle of pills. Thankyou again for your help and support. The people in this community really are something special! 1
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