Melrapuo Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 So...are there? Lol. Im currently in the middle of a possible one right now with an ex from four years ago. The last relationship ended badly (left me for someone else) so im very skeptical at the moment about what to do as to not come off pushy or needy. I feel as though ive already rushed things a bit (as she has). The night we got things out in the open, we were planning on hanging out as friends. A guy was hitting on her at the bar, and it made me feel awkward but i was ok with it because we had established to be friends. As the night progressed you could tell the dude was annoying her but as a friend (and an ex) it wasnt my place to say or do anything to stop it. She started to get closer to me and be more touchy feely, which confused me but i assumed she was teying to escape the guy. Eventually her girl friend came to the bar and interfered so the guy would get the hint. We ended up leaving and going to a different bar, and she was being very close with me and it was beginning to get confusing. (Yes, at this point we were both drunk.) So at the bat i flat out asked her where we stood. I know it was pretty straightforward but i had to know or else i would wonder for days wtf had.just.happened but not ask. From that point on she confessed that she felt she had ****ed up by dumping me and wanted to give things another shot but was afraid of ****ing things up again. She was afraid i would disappear out of her life and shes always wanted me in her life and had missed me etc etc. She then told me that she loved me (!) And i told her the same (i do. Even when i dated others i still cared about and missed her.) Granted though that was mistake 1 that i made. I know it, so please be gentle and dont yell. Whats done is done on that front. Heres mistake two. She drove me. She asked if i wanted to go home or to her house (she lives with her family). I said yes. We ended up fooling around, no actual intercourse (i was too drunk for that, though we tried). Pretty much everything else under the.sun. and during all.this, she kept saying that she loved me. At lesast three to five times. The next morning was awkward. I was confused about.what had just happened. I could tell she was too. She drove me to work, i kissed her and told her id talk to her again. The whole day i didnt know what to do or where we stood. I sat on it for about a day, and we didnt talk. The day after i texted her and told her we needed to talk. We met up for coffee and cleared the air. She told me (sober this time) that she still felt the same way, but was afraid of screwing it.up. i told her i was afraid of getting hurt.again, but was open to the idea if she was willing to as well. We ended up spending the rest of the day together, going to a park and getting dinner. Then we ended up going to my familys summer house and made mistake 3, which was have sex. I know that this is all way fast, so u dont have to point that out. Since then we did hang out last night with her friend, but no more sex or i love yous. Ive held back on saying it again just because its way too soon for that. So what should i do from this point, aside from.being cautious? Should i be talking to her every day? Texting? Should i back off a bit? I dont like doing mind games because that only confuses people. And weve established that were seeing where this goes. This isnt like dating a stranger because we know each other already. I know im goong to get criticisms, but any advice that could be thrown in would be great too.
Philosoraptor Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Have both parties involved worked on the issues they presented to the past relationship that aided to its failure? If you have, and both parties want to try again, it is possible to have a successful reconciliation. If not then the relationship will likely follow the same path. Take it slow as this needs to be a new relationship with a clean slate. If a clean slate can't be given then you might want to take a step back.
Author Melrapuo Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 At the end of the last relationship she felt the relationship had gotten stale, as did i. We didnt go out, she had an apartment but i was unemployed without a car. Plus i had some issues with depression that affected both my health and attitude. Since things have changed. I work, have a car, go to therapy, looking to finally move out. She is living at home right now trying to figure out her life. Weve both dated other people and experienced more. She has a lot of friends now, as do i (that factored into the problems from the last relationship.) The only thing thats left is her gaining my trust back and us proving to each other that its worth it to try again. This is nerve wracking and and exciting at the same time. Just not trying to put all my eggs into one basket just yet.
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