twice shy Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 6 years ago I had found out my wife was having an affair. We tried counseling, etc. but she wasn't interested in remaining married. We were going to get a divorce with a fair division of property and child custody. However, the economic downturn in 2008 hit us hard. Both of us lost our jobs in the same week and I went from a six figure income to less than half (after being unemployed for 6 months). All of our savings were gone and it was hard to adjust to a lot less money once we were both reemployed. We ended up declaring bankruptcy and worse, we couldn't sell our house so we didn't get that divorce. I still want to get a divorce, although she no longer wants one. But while I have a decent job now (still not quite 6 figures yet, but well above the average for my area), I still don't know how to get on with moving out. I know that I should be able to afford moving out but I would think that I'd need several thousand dollars. Things like: deposits for apartment, first/last month rent, furniture, etc., not to mention divorce costs. I don't have credit cards and am 100% cash. Due to our bankruptcy, i don't even know if i could qualify for an apartment lease. So, I would think that i'd need some $ to get this process started. and i don't see how to do it. Then i read people who have far less $$ than I who don't have any problems whatsoever moving out and starting over. I'm so ready to move on. Any advice?
Philosoraptor Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Rent a room somewhere for awhile while you build up your credit. If you can prove your income most places are being more understanding of bad credit due to the horrible economic crisis we went through. If you want to do something then do it. Don't let these details get in your way. Those people make it work because they have the motivation. If you want to leave then pack your things and leave, no more excuses.
Author twice shy Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 Omitted a key detail. I have two kids who are in their early teen years. I don't just want to "leave". When I leave, I want to be able to set up another household. So that when they're with dad, they don't have to go to some dump or sleep on the floor of a one room place. I dont' think it's about vanity per se. I recognize that this divorce is going to be difficult on all of us and I just wish to mitigate the circumstances as much as possible.
Philosoraptor Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Well that is quite an important detail. You will need to find an apartment, so start looking. As I said before, the requirements aren't as harsh as before. You just need to have the right documentation such as prior pay stubs and bank information. Your offer letter from work won't hurt to have either.
carhill Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 (edited) Barter your professional services for a deposit on an apartment or home. I barter all the time with tenants and vendors when I don't have cash. Consider a rooming situation, like in a MIL studio or similar. I'm always looking for houses with those setups to expand potential for sub-leases which I can benefit from. It provides affordable space for someone who doesn't need/want/qualify for a full-on apartment or house. Save money. Cut down on technology temporarily. Technology these days is wonderfully enabling but can get expensive. Internet packages, phone/data packages, cable/satellite, etc, etc. Trim the fat. Eat out less. Cut back on any vices. TBH, I'm amazed I avoided BK during my D, as I was doing terminal life care for my mom at the same time. I figured if worse came to worse, I'd default on the huge amount of available credit I had. My lawyer and I actually worked out a PlanB in that regard. It didn't work out that way and things are really turning around now, though my FICO did take a hit during the process. Use the tools at your disposal to make the current situation work for you. Good luck. ETA, accept that your lifestyle will take a hit. See it as temporary. Nothing in life is perfect. Every day you're breathing is a gift. Hug the kids. Edited March 5, 2012 by carhill
Steen719 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Can someone co-sign for you? My niece worked in credit and said (as Philo said) that people are understanding d/t the economic crisis. She also told me that she would co-sign for me if need be (I think I will be facing bk d/t foreclosure). Good luck.
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