NIN Posted June 8, 2004 Posted June 8, 2004 So am I weird because I gave my waitress a plate with pizza crust in the shape of a heart, and told her that I made it for her?
Author NIN Posted June 8, 2004 Author Posted June 8, 2004 She said "thanks", then took the plate and started to walk away. Then I said "Do you like it?" and she said "Yeah". And she kept walking.
CurlyIam Posted June 8, 2004 Posted June 8, 2004 You are not weird! You were cute and imaginative! Unfortunatelly for you, your type ain't that popular... But I am sure that the right girl will appreciate it!
LyricalZ Posted June 8, 2004 Posted June 8, 2004 It's adorable! Stay just as u r, the right gal will come..
kimer Posted June 8, 2004 Posted June 8, 2004 Man thats sweet, i am laughing right now thinking of how many men would really do this? keep it going!!!
Pyrannaste Posted June 8, 2004 Posted June 8, 2004 I think it was very nice if you sounded playful, and if it was the first time you tried to approach this girl (or at least she never rejected you before). Had I been her, you'd have made me smile.
CurlyIam Posted June 8, 2004 Posted June 8, 2004 Had it been me, you'd have gotten at least one free cup of coffee!
sweetadeline Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Had it been me, you might have gotten a date--so keep trying! You never know!
UCFKevin Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Is there anyone who would find it offputting? Be honest.
Author NIN Posted June 9, 2004 Author Posted June 9, 2004 I got the impression that the waitress thought it was offputting when I gave it to her. But my intention was to be cute, funny, and let her know that I liked her. So should I avoid doing things like that because it might be offputting, or do you think the right girl would appreciate it?
CurlyIam Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 I wouldn't date the guy after this, if that's what you understand by offputting, but he would definately catch my attention! And make me smile!
DerangedAngel Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 I would find it totally offputting. I used to hate it when I worked as a waitress and I would get hit on. I actually hate getting hit on in while I'm working period. Plus, I usually go for the jerky guys that don't seem interested anyway. -Deranged
dyermaker Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Sometimes the Pizza lady hits on me and our friends.
amerikajin Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Couple of observations here. 1. Work is a tough place to hit on a woman. She's there to make money, not get hit on. Waitresses and especially bartenders don't dig the vibe too often - not unless you've got some big time game. I'm reasonably confident most of the time, but I've rarely ever gone after a waitress just because it's uncomfortable. There's a part of her that feels almost blackmailed into being nice enough to at least make the guy feel good until he's outta site, when ordinarily she would probably just tell him politely that she ain't interested. 2. The gesture of giving someone a heart - however cute, sweet and creative it may have been - is just plain weird. It sends entirely the wrong message to the girl. You're saying "I've got lots of time on my hands. I'm clingy. I'm going to pull out all the stops to show you just what a nice guy I am, and I'll keep trying." She's thinking "Oh, God! Stalker." That's why girls don't like nice guys. I don't blame them. You were blown off, and deservedly so. Go out and start getting some confidence. Start making the dating scene. Play the numbers game. Don't put too much emphasis on one girl.
CurlyIam Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 "1. Work is a tough place to hit on a woman. She's there to make money, not get hit on. " This one goes to all types of work, not only waitresses. Yet, most times when women cheat - at least those around me - are with people they meet at work, at school, not on their free time (this has nothing to do with cheating, but I'm sure you understand my point). Waitresses and especially bartenders don't dig the vibe too often - not unless you've got some big time game(...) I must admit I've never been a waitress, but...still I think you're going a bit far with the generalisation, it's still about different types of people (if you like a bit marketing, I make the analogy with the differance between segmentation and typology). "The gesture of giving someone a heart - -...) is just plain weird. It sends entirely the wrong message to the girl. You're saying "...." " LOL!!! Maybe in the States! Yet I doubt it, haha! I think waitresses get hit on quite a lot, and they can't really prevent that, should they want to. There are also different types of hitting: spackning her a*s, leaving a big tip, trying to engage in a conversation etc. To me, things like leaving a flower on a table, making a heart of pizza for a woman with whom you've never been introduced to, drowing flowers or bunnies with ketchup on a plate are in a different category. Yes, they are childish, but they do say "My liking you is bigger than my ego, I want you to know this!", "I like you". This is not offensive. Simple, but effective. I do believe that there are women thinking exactly what you've said. But that's only because they've been used to interracting with men that most often want things from them: a date, sex or more free coffee! They are in constant contact with their costumers, not by their own choice, so the best approach of not hitting at them at all being can be their favourite (sometimes ). "That's why girls don't like nice guys. I don't blame them. You were blown off, and deservedly so. " That's another story. There are guys that think ahead about their moves, plan etc, and there are guys who don't. The second type aren't always "getting" the girl, but I must confess I like them better. This is about enjoying the other person's reaction, surprise and spontaniety, not about getting her phone number. It is also a test for the other person. An out of the box situation. She failed, by the way! "Go out and start getting some confidence. Start making the dating scene. Play the numbers game. Don't put too much emphasis on one girl. " I guess this is your way of saying: think ahead and plan your reactions! As I said before, much more effective, but ... somehow sadder.(one gets results, but do they get to appreciate it?) That's why dating more is dating no one! It's a game one plays alone! Be sure to be giving this bit of information too along with your advice!
amerikajin Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 I must admit I've never been a waitress, but...still I think you're going a bit far with the generalisation, it's still about different types of people (if you like a bit marketing, I make the analogy with the differance between segmentation and typology). I've hit on waitresses before and actually got lucky. I've actually gotten a couple of phone numbers that way, but generally, the older and more experienced I get, the more I realize that you've got to really stand out if you're going to score with a waitress. They get hit on all the time, by lots of handsome, successful young bucks. You've got to have some real game. It's one thing if I get to know a co-worker and decide to hit on her (something which presents an entirely different hazard in and of itself, I might add). But being a customer and hitting on someone whom your paying for service.... you've really got to wonder about that. I've known several bartender hotties who've pretty much bragged to me about how they can tease a guy into giving them extra tips with a wink and a little strut here and there. It's like prostitution without the sex or stripping without taking it off. And I'm not trying to be disparaging toward women when I say that either. Heck, if they can take advantage of the poor saps dumb enough to believe that handing them a Lincoln instead of a Washington is actually going to raise interest level, I say more power to them. I know our friend here wasn't trying to do that. He was just trying to be nice and a little different, and he thought this might get her attention. Well, it did, but not in the way that he had hoped. I think a simple request for a phone number would have done just fine...or had he already asked for that? Was this some last ditch desperate act? Is there more to the story that we don't know? To me, things like leaving a flower on a table, making a heart of pizza for a woman with whom you've never been introduced to, drowing flowers or bunnies with ketchup on a plate are in a different category. Yes, they are childish, but they do say "My liking you is bigger than my ego, I want you to know this!", "I like you". My point is, he doesn't even know her. So how can he be sure that he likes her well enough to put his ego on the line? To me, that says "I need to go out of my way to get your attention by thinking of creative ways to show you how much I like you. I'm willing to sacrifice my valuable time to do these things for you. I'm willing to do this because I really don't feel confident that you'll like me for who I am, so this is the only card I hold. God I hope you like me." And wanna know something? I bet that's exactly how the waitress interpreted it. Hence, she walked off. I have no doubt that NIN is a nice dude and could give a lady all the pleasure in the world once he finds that special someone. All I'm saying is that this isn't going to help his cause. I've had his same problem for much of my dating life, and in the past it's dogged me the same way it's dogging him. I can honestly say that as I become more aware of these weaknesses, I have become better at dating and I have found it a more satisfying process. Whenever I see this, though, I try to use my knowledge to help. That's all I'm doing, and I hope he doesn't take offense.
Author NIN Posted June 9, 2004 Author Posted June 9, 2004 To answer your question "Is there more he's not telling us?" No. I just went with a couple friends to grab a bite to eat. Our waitress was really pretty, and smiled when I talked to her, so I gave her a heart shaped pizza crust. I have no doubt that it may be offputting to certain people. But how can you make such huge generalizations like "it's offputting to everyone" and "people don't like to be hit on at work". What about all the people on these boards that said the opposite. Apparently it would have worked on some of them. According to the responses I got, it will work on a girl that appreciates that type of thing. And that's what I want, is that type of girl. Also, I don't want to act like someone else when I pick up chicks, or else they will find out eventually that I'm not who they thought I was. Plus I don't like to deceive people. I'm not in a dating game to see how many girls I can pick up. I just want to find a special girl that likes me for who I am. Btw, don't take this post the wrong way. I appreciate all the advice so far. I know everyone is just trying to help.
Iamhappy Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 I think the gesture, though well-intentioned, was CREE-PEE. The problem is that she didn't know you and you really didn't know much about her except that you were attracted to her. There were other ways to indicate that you were attracted to her (how about being forward and asking for her number?). A heart-shaped pizza crust is a bit much. It's like a guy or girl who tells you they love you after having met you for 5 seconds. Besides, there's no need to try so hard.
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