so complicated...

[Maxime91]

im not sure if this is in the right spot, sorry if it isnt... but here we go.

 

i am a big time gamer. shortly said. about 4-5 years ago, i met this girl on starcraft, just an online friend, i added her on facebook and we havent talked at all... untill february 18, where i decide to "spontaneously" comment on one of her facebook updates, this turns out into a full out convo (60 comments) and she decides to take it into personal chat (or whatever its called on facebook) and then she tells me "i have a party at my place where only quality people are allowed, want to come?". i said maybe i wasnt sure (i was busy) and then finnally said yes, she was excited lol.

 

i get to the party, as the night proceeds, and i get the flirt game going on, she texts me (while i was in the same room? although with alot of people around) that she was impressed about me. since all the things i did in afghanistan and all that. and even tells me we should do something tomorow. i say yes. i sleep over at her place, but on the couch, since she already has a male friend (who shes been friends with for a LONG time and she reassured me that its only SLEEPIN together) while i was alseep she texted me 2 times that she couldnt sleep. (stress reasons). and the morning after, we all go to breakfast, then back to her house, me and her alone, we take off again to get her kid (she has an adorable 11 months old baby, yes she has a kid, and yes i like it) the day proceeds quickly as we get to know each other (and we played halo 3 and resident evil 5 together during the afternoon XD)

 

now in the evening, since it was sunday night, i knew i had to go back to base at some point, but i procrastinated a litle too much, why? i made a move on her and we were now cuddling :3. i didnt want to go. at 10 i tell her "yeah i think im gonna stay." she says ok well lets go sleep. same thing in the bed, we were cuddling, in the dark, (obviously, and naturaly, i was hard, pretty sure she knew lol) she turned around a couple of times... to face me, face to face in the dark, and i dont know why but i felt some kind of sexual tension? i guess i knew... or idk... i was REALLY confused in the bed. she could barely sleep. i was wondering why. she told me "can we talk about this another time?" i said sure.

 

in the morning, i dress up in uniform, and tell her "see you next weekend?" she replies "maybe." i hesitate and tells me while smiling "im kidding im teasing you." when i leave, i decided to leave her a surprise (since i knew it was going to be a hard morning for her, as she told me). i left a suger free red bull with a note saying "a litle red bull for the morning? see you next weekend!"

 

she texted me that i was too nice (in a good way) she also uses alot of smilies in her texts but i think she usually does that lol.

 

during the week, we were texting non stop, she even added me on her top 10 call list to not cost anything extra. we talked over the phone a couple of times (could go for more than an hour). and she was really talkative over text (she would send 2-3 texts if not more before i could reply lol). weekend comes, since i had friday off, we had 3 days, i come at her place thursday night but while driving at her place, she tells me a rather horrid story about her last ex (the father) that let her wounded... in EVERY way... and tells me shes not ready yet for a relationaship. at her place she lets me enter, puts her baby to sleep we go downstairs watch tv for a while, cuddle again, then her room, cuddle again, (i felt the sexual tension AGAIN). friday morning we take off to my base, where i work, to visit it and eat there, i present a couple of my friends to her. (we were with her son for the whole day) then go to quebec city, at the aquarium. after the visit she said "thank you", we then head out to get diner, at a nice quiet restaurant, where i paid her meal.then head back. she asks me if i wanna stick around for her friend's birthday tomorow at boston pizza, i said yes. the day after, in the evening she gets her son to her father's to keep him for the night, at boston pizza everything goes smoothly (except for the fact that there were mostly girls... obviously it was a girls night out more than anything else although there were a couple of guys lol) going back home after getting her baby, when watching a movie in her living room, she seemed either uncomfortable or uneasy (either way i knew there was something wrong) so i asked her whats wrong and told me shes not really comfortable with being this close yet. i say thats fine, and we dont cuddle anymore for the rest of the weekend. now MONDAY until WEDNESDAY it looked like she was either avoiding me or didnt want to talk... she rarely did reply and short replies with that too. i called her to make things clear between ourselves, THIS is when she tells me she left her ex about a month ago?? we are now just "friends" but she texts me "normaly" almost no smilies, no emotion or whatnot... (usually before she always texted me first, now im always the one starting the convo...

 

WHAT have i done wrong? have i attached myself too quickly? what can i do to repair this? i need to professionnal advice please... never been feeling like this and i cant have performance over at the job... i always wonder... ask any questions, i dont care ill answer hem if it helps to know what to do!!

 

thanks...

 

Max