nick d Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I'm having so much trouble maintaining NC! I only went 4 days and I already broke it! How am I suppose to go weeks/months when I can't even make it one week! Ah! I'm so miserable right now.. And of course, I got the rejection she didn't write back.
Cmac Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Everyone trips up some time. Don't beat yourself up. Pick yourself up and start again. Remember how you feel right now after receiving no reply. Use that feeling as your motivation to stick to NC this time around.
Numb79 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 You should do what I do. Every time I think about breaking contact I just post something on here. You may have seen several threads that I started today.
Author nick d Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 It's seriously just burnt in my head that I'll never find better! She's just too damn gorgeous and I can't get her off my mind!!
sweetheart5381 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Lots of us have broke NC, dont feel bad. I did and lets just say, no response is far less painful than a cruel nasty, "go away... I told you like a hundred times... it's simple, it wasn't meant to be". No response means that you can move on. If they dont want to reply, then leave it that way.
agrj26 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Nick..If you are having trouble, I would just delete her number from my phone.. (Unless you have it by heart).Might help...
Author nick d Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 The really crappy thing is she works where I do.. A different shift though. So I see her sometimes and always have people talk about her.. It really sucks.
sweetheart5381 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I know it by heart :/ Yes, seems we all do have it "by heart". I have deleted my ex's number, all conversations, pictures, etc and it helps alot to disconnect to some degree and have my logical thoughts back in order. In fact, I don't check my phone at all now, have forgotten it many days on my kitchen counter when I leave for work. No contact is hard the first week for sure (like quitting smoking, aka Hell Week) but it gets easier at time goes on.
sweetheart5381 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 The really crappy thing is she works where I do.. A different shift though. So I see her sometimes and always have people talk about her.. It really sucks. Oh, I hear you there, I work in the same dept as my ex. We both smoke in the same designated area too. Same friends, co-workers. Makes it really hard for sure.
Author nick d Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 I'm just to the point where I don't care anymore.. I hate my job, hate who I am, I'm just sick of everything.
agrj26 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Dont be too hard on yourself Nick. Hang out with some guy friends.. just be busy. I know its easier said than done but trust it I am into my second day of break up and NC and I am kinda feeling okie just coz I kept myself busy this weekend.And also read all these posts on the forums!lol..
Author nick d Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 Dont be too hard on yourself Nick. Hang out with some guy friends.. just be busy. I know its easier said than done but trust it I am into my second day of break up and NC and I am kinda feeling okie just coz I kept myself busy this weekend.And also read all these posts on the forums!lol.. I've been broken up 5 weeks now.. Tried NC 4 different times.. And I haven't gotten any better at all. And I've been goin out every weekend with friends too
jus d'orange Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Nick, The reason you keep failing to maintain NC is because you aren't respecting yourself. You deserve better than to grovel after someone who doesn't want you. I promise, there are other girls out there for you. If you move on from this relationship without looking back, you will learn enormously and become a better person for it. In addition, you will learn about how to be a better partner in a relationship, and your next relationship will be better as a result. You have to place 100% of your focus on yourself at this time. She is gone now. I know this is hard to swallow, but the girl of your past has to stay in the past. You have the memories. They will continue to cause you pain, but you will eventually be able to smile thinking of them. Your thoughts will continue to be saturated by thoughts of her. This is unavoidable. However, you need to get yourself out doing new things, going to the gym, doing stuff you'd always wanted to do. When you feel up to it, try enjoying being single a bit more. It's been 5 weeks today since my break-up, and I was shattered at first. However, I managed to go 100% No Contact, have been taking care of myself (gym, food), have been doing new things, meeting new groups of people, talking to a new girl a little bit... I still feel the pain, but there are good periods of time now where I don't think about the end of my relationship. You need to tell yourself that you CAN do this, and that you WILL. You need to use your willpower to get through this. Everyone heals at their own pace, but you NEED to get walking down the path yourself. People say time heals wounds, but if you open the wounds again every few days, they will never heal.
Author nick d Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 I've been going to the gym (always have gone), been eating better and I have been trying to do new things. I've been trying to LIKE the bar/club scene, but I just can't do it... Maybe if I could meet some new girls to talk to I'd feel better. But I just don't even know where to meet girls now days!
jus d'orange Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 You're doing all of the right things PHYSICALLY... But your attitude and self-esteem need to change. You said you hate who you are and are sick of everything. Very few people have everything perfect or everything terrible in their life. Start by appreciating the good things you do have. I really connected with my family and old friends after my breakup. Man, they are great people! Then, go about changing things you don't like. If you're dissatisfied with your job, perhaps you can start setting some goals for getting a new position somewhere? Not only would you end up with work that would drag you down less, you'd get a sense of satisfaction from having achieved something for yourself!
Cmac Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I've been going to the gym (always have gone), been eating better and I have been trying to do new things. I've been trying to LIKE the bar/club scene, but I just can't do it... Maybe if I could meet some new girls to talk to I'd feel better. But I just don't even know where to meet girls now days! Aaaah you and I have the same issue. I absolutely detest going out clubbing, it doesn't appeal to me at all. I've often had the same concern about how I'll go about meeting new girls when I don't like bars/clubs. 2 of my 3 closest friends don't enjoy clubbing either, so another issue was that even if I decided I wanted to I'd struggle to find anyone to go with!
Author nick d Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 Yeah I tried going to a club last Friday night.. Just not my thing. I like having a good time, but to me it just seems so dirty. I dunno I guess I just don't want a girl that's been grinding on 10+ guys..
strength-abounds Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I'm just to the point where I don't care anymore.. I hate my job, hate who I am, I'm just sick of everything. This is to be expected during the grieving process, Nick. I think everyone feels like this at certain point post-breakup. You are allowed to be angry, depressed, and just plain blah. If you don't like the bar scene, then don't go. Stay at home and watch a good movie. No one said you need to go out and find another woman right away. Brother, you need to heal so when the woman that makes it all worth it walks into your life, you won't push her away.
Chi townD Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I've been going to the gym (always have gone), been eating better and I have been trying to do new things. I've been trying to LIKE the bar/club scene, but I just can't do it... Maybe if I could meet some new girls to talk to I'd feel better. But I just don't even know where to meet girls now days! Don't worry about dating or meeting anyone right now. You need to heal. If you were to seriously date someone right now, you wouldn't be fair to yourself and it certainly wouldn't be fair to the girl you'd date. Just chill out. You're doing all the right things. It sucks right now and it's going to. You're mourning the loss of the relationship. Not too much different than losing a family member. You need to heal. Post here and post often to get you through.
Author nick d Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 Do you think it would be bad to meet new girls and say hang out and flirt with them? As long as I wasn't going on dates? My ex is dating already..
Chi townD Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Do you think it would be bad to meet new girls and say hang out and flirt with them? As long as I wasn't going on dates? My ex is dating already.. There's absolutely nothing wrong with going out on dates if there's "no intentions". You just have to promise yourself that you're going out to have a good time AND NOTHING ELSE. No hidden agenda. So have fun! Just don't go out with the intention that you're trying to start a relationship.
mike588 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 If you want her back or the chance of getting back together stick with No Contact. If you want to drive her further away and look weak...desperate and pathetic keep contacting her.
Recommended Posts