Numb79 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I have been having some issues today..... Do you fight for someone that you love even though they left you? I have been 5 weeks of NC and people are starting to say that the reason you don't fight is because you don't love her enough..... Really? So should I fight for it?
TheRose Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I have been having some issues today..... Do you fight for someone that you love even though they left you? I have been 5 weeks of NC and people are starting to say that the reason you don't fight is because you don't love her enough..... Really? So should I fight for it? Depends on the reason she broke up with you... If the reason is that she felt unloved and ignored YES fight for her! If the reason is that she found someone else or is sick of you then don't..
Falcon25 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 You can't fight when there is no battle. You're gonna fight for what? Someone who doesn't want you? Why don't you fight for world peace instead? You have a better chance of accomplishing something.
Cmac Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 There comes a point when you realise fighting for them is futile. There is only so much rejection a person can take. Why should you continue to fight when they no longer want you?
Author Numb79 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 The reason for the break up was because she felt that she was giving more to the relationship than I did. Like most scenerios.... you don't realize what you have until its gone. To be honest, I never really put up a fight during the break up. I was too much in shock to say anything. She has already told me not to fight for her and that we cannot be friends. Told me not to contact her at all. So I just went straight NC right after. But then I have other people telling me that, thats just how women are!?!? I am so lost!!!
TheRose Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 The reason for the break up was because she felt that she was giving more to the relationship than I did. Like most scenerios.... you don't realize what you have until its gone. To be honest, I never really put up a fight during the break up. I was too much in shock to say anything. She has already told me not to fight for her and that we cannot be friends. Told me not to contact her at all. So I just went straight NC right after. But then I have other people telling me that, thats just how women are!?!? I am so lost!!! Okay let me tell you about women in this case: There is a timeperiod (varies from situation, woman to woman etc) in which they still WANT you to fight for them. In the case her saying: dont contact me, we cant be friends means: if you dont care about me, Im not gonna care about you. But she's actually in pain and desperatly wants you to fight for her! However: if you've let her down too often, she really doesnt want to have anything to do with you anymore. in that case: leave her alone! How do you find out about this? Try, but be prepared for anything! And make sure you really love her and will give her more attention if you try to win her back, if you're not sure about this: leave her alone.
Author Numb79 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 Oh... and I don't know if there is someone else or not. I chose not to ask that question and to be honest, it wouldn't do me any good to know the answer.
Author Numb79 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 5 yrs, it was a LDR. She lives in Canada and I live in California
Author Numb79 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 2 or 3 times a year..... I would appreciate it if you don't put any negative thoughts in my head. There are some things I would rather not know.... if you get my drift
TheRose Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 2 or 3 times a year..... I would appreciate it if you don't put any negative thoughts in my head. There are some things I would rather not know.... if you get my drift That was not my intention (I'm assuming you ment my comment). Just read the rest of my commend! If reason for her is that she didnt feel like you did anything for her, she might want you to fight for her! But truthfully, if she warned you before, she might be done with you. But at least find out... Long Distance Relationships are hard, but if you really love her: fight for it!
Author Numb79 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 Rose- I have thought about reaching out to her and just putting it all out there. But during the break up I have already expressed that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. So, I really don't know what else to say. At the same time.... I am not willing to go back to day 1. I admit..... I am not in great shape right now... but I know I must have made some improvement over the past 5 weeks.
TheRose Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Rose- I have thought about reaching out to her and just putting it all out there. But during the break up I have already expressed that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. So, I really don't know what else to say. At the same time.... I am not willing to go back to day 1. I admit..... I am not in great shape right now... but I know I must have made some improvement over the past 5 weeks. Allright, then leave it as it is... In the end you should do what feels right for you!
Author Numb79 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 I really want to reach out.... but after all this time, I'm not sure even what to say anymore. Your brain tells you one thing.... but your emotions are fighting off all your logical choices. Its like a constant internal struggle.
jus d'orange Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Maintain the No Contact, please. The two of you were together for 5 years. If you're still seriously emotionally invested, then you won't break up with someone and tell them to go away just to make a point about wanting to matter to someone (unless she's terribly immature). More likely, she started removing herself from the relationship emotionally a long time ago and suffered much of her pain of loss before the breakup. The best thing to do here is to move on from her. Keep improving your life as you have been. Try to gain some composure and sense of peace and forward direction in your life. You probably feel very lost in the chaos; it's up to you to calm things down, get realistic, and get going again.
CC12 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Eh. When someone tells you, "We cannot be friends. Do not contact me," I think you need to respect that. If she wanted to leave an opening for you, she would have given you one, like "We can still be friends," "I just need some time apart," "I need to think about things," etc. I don't think this is a case where she says one thing but means another. What she said was very clear and left no room for interpretation. It's tough, but you should move on. 1
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