Gigi70 Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 I was just curious as to whether anyone on here has ever really never heard from their ex again after maintaining NC. And how long has it been?
mike588 Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 I was just curious as to whether anyone on here has ever really never heard from their ex again after maintaining NC. And how long has it been? My ex. g/f dumped me in a very cruel way 7 months ago...We talked (email) for a few days afterwards then I went Strict N.C. I really believed I'd never hear from her again and moved on the best I could...Well last month she contacts me..twice.
Author Gigi70 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 My ex. g/f dumped me in a very cruel way 7 months ago...We talked (email) for a few days afterwards then I went Strict N.C. I really believed I'd never hear from her again and moved on the best I could...Well last month she contacts me..twice. How did that make you feel? And why did she contact you? Well, why she SAID she contacted you anyway.
mike588 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 (edited) How did that make you feel? And why did she contact you? Well, why she SAID she contacted you anyway. I had put some tropical blooming plants in her yard when we were together and she left me a note on my door to let me know they were blooming....that she thought of me because I'm the one who planted them...she was so happy to see the bloom and went on to say not a day goes by that she doesn't think of me. She also said that she's so sorry for hurting me....she regrets her actions....that I was so good to her blah blah blah. Hummm wonder if that's really true? Anyway since I NEVER expected to hear from her I was shocked and I had mixed emotions...I was glad she thought of me and it gave me a short lived ego boost but it also ratteled my cage....stirred up all those emotions again and it set me back alittle bit. She had emailed me weeks before that note but I just ignored them. I couldn't resist reading the note though. Edited March 5, 2012 by mike588
Numb79 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 NC for 5 weeks and have only received one txt msg from her. She just wanted to thank me for sending her back her personal belongings. I didn't even respond. Now I am sitting here thinking that I should have at least responded with a you are welcome? I don't know...... I don't expect to ever hear from her though.... she made it very clear to cut all ties and that we cannot remain friends. It was very direct and to the point.... I guess I should at least respect her for that?
Glove_slap Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Last made official contact with my ex on Xmas of 2010 (we've been broken up for 6 months by then - she left me for another guy after 3 years) - She didn't reply to the card I gave her - Bumped into her on Feb of 2011 - Saw her for the first time since we broke up -Haven't seen or heard from her ever since. Tough huh?
mike588 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Last made official contact with my ex on Xmas of 2010 (we've been broken up for 6 months by then - she left me for another guy after 3 years) - She didn't reply to the card I gave her - Bumped into her on Feb of 2011 - Saw her for the first time since we broke up -Haven't seen or heard from her ever since. Tough huh? Wow that long huh! Guess I can consider myself lucky or maybe unlucky to hear from mine?
shayla Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 My ex dumped me in November, married another woman in January...my father died in April, and he sent me an email with a virus attached to it a few days later. Some sympathy card.
Author Gigi70 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 I had put some tropical blooming plants in her yard when we were together and she left me a note on my door to let me know they were blooming....that she thought of me because I'm the one who planted them...she was so happy to see the bloom and went on to say not a day goes by that she doesn't think of me. She also said that she's so sorry for hurting me....she regrets her actions....that I was so good to her blah blah blah. Hummm wonder if that's really true? Anyway since I NEVER expected to hear from her I was shocked and I had mixed emotions...I was glad she thought of me and it gave me a short lived ego boost but it also ratteled my cage....stirred up all those emotions again and it set me back alittle bit. She had emailed me weeks before that note but I just ignored them. I couldn't resist reading the note though. Thanks. Did you reply or respond in any way?
mike588 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Thanks. Did you reply or respond in any way? Yeah I foolishly replyed after waiting about 3 days. Now I wish I wouldn't have.
M2155 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 NC for 5 weeks and have only received one txt msg from her. She just wanted to thank me for sending her back her personal belongings. I didn't even respond. Now I am sitting here thinking that I should have at least responded with a you are welcome? I don't know...... I don't expect to ever hear from her though.... she made it very clear to cut all ties and that we cannot remain friends. It was very direct and to the point.... I guess I should at least respect her for that? You shouldn't respond because you are thinking about it too hard. Sending her belongings was thanks enough. And to answer your question I have heard from all my exes once I was over them. It's amazing how that happens sometimes. However the recent one, I contacted him first (I got the feeling though he would have said something eventually anyway) other than when he wished me happy b-day. But he is with someone else anyway and none of the contact was done with any intention of possible reconnection. If you still have hope, don't do it.
Author Gigi70 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 Last made official contact with my ex on Xmas of 2010 (we've been broken up for 6 months by then - she left me for another guy after 3 years) - She didn't reply to the card I gave her - Bumped into her on Feb of 2011 - Saw her for the first time since we broke up -Haven't seen or heard from her ever since. Tough huh? Yes... How do you feel now?
Author Gigi70 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 My ex dumped me in November, married another woman in January...my father died in April, and he sent me an email with a virus attached to it a few days later. Some sympathy card. Was it bad of me to laugh? I'm sorry.
Emy Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Just out of curiousity, how long had you two been dating? My exboyfriend and I had been dating for about 3 months before we broke up. That may sound petty, but we had a very serious relationship and I want to get him back. But do you think that the shorter the relationship, the shorter amount of time you should wait before getting back into contact? I have not contacted my ex since January 30th.
Jono85 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 i'm on almost 14 months since my last contact with my ex ex (she left me for her ex, and they split last year sometime). it's tough, b/c after she texted me all 'how's it going? hope you're well. this is whats going on in my life...' (this is when she was back together with her ex) i replied saying I didn't think a friendship could work, said i wasn't bitter, wished her well, and to take care. well she simply never texted me back. that's it. not even a goodbye or so long. i've been very strict in not texting/calling her even though it hurt she just didn't respond. but to this day, that's the last contact we've had. 14 months. it seems she's content with that being the end of our existence, forever. and that hurts. my pride won't let contact her. but i do wish she could show me one fricking sign to suggest i meant something to her, how cold can one be.
Author Gigi70 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 Just out of curiousity, how long had you two been dating? My exboyfriend and I had been dating for about 3 months before we broke up. That may sound petty, but we had a very serious relationship and I want to get him back. But do you think that the shorter the relationship, the shorter amount of time you should wait before getting back into contact? I have not contacted my ex since January 30th. We were together for 5 years. Broke up 2 months ago. Haven't spoken in 5 weeks.
shayla Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Was it bad of me to laugh? I'm sorry. Actually I laughed too....after he was confronted by the last person he ever expected to hear from concerning me. His cruelty backfired on him, and it caused him much more pain than he tried to inflict on me. So you laugh as much as you want, and hopefully, if you lose a parent or other loved one, others will show you sensitivity and respect and not laugh at you.
Cmac Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 My ex and I were together 5 years, broke up just over 3 months ago. Haven't had any contact in over 2 months, and every contact we did have was initiated by me, if it wasn't for me getting in touch with her I doubt I'd have had any contact with her at all.
nick d Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 My ex and I were together 5 years, broke up just over 3 months ago. Haven't had any contact in over 2 months, and every contact we did have was initiated by me, if it wasn't for me getting in touch with her I doubt I'd have had any contact with her at all. Wow.. Who broke up with who? (if you don't mind me asking)
nick d Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 That's how mine was.. Together 3 years and engaged. She left me. And any contact we did have before going NC was initiated by me.
Author Gigi70 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 My ex and I were together 5 years, broke up just over 3 months ago. Haven't had any contact in over 2 months, and every contact we did have was initiated by me, if it wasn't for me getting in touch with her I doubt I'd have had any contact with her at all. Did she reply when you contacted her?
Cmac Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Yeah she did. She was always civil too, never gave me any harsh replies or anything.
jus d'orange Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 We were together for nearly 4 years, known each other (best friends) for over 5, she broke it off 5 weeks ago, strict NC since then. She initially wanted us to speak after a few weeks had past. On V-Day, she called my best friend and talked to him (they're friends), trying to find out how I was doing, asking him to get me to call her. He told her he wouldn't. I'm perfectly happy not to get in touch. Her birthday's in a month -- I might call her and chat briefly, but I also might not. I no longer feel in love with her, but I'm wary of having old feelings come back and causing me pain again. Maybe after 6 months or a year, she and I can be friends again. I'm really glad I went NC -- I've really begun moving on in the past week. She's out of my head now for much of the time, and I'm glad I'm single and happy with my life. There's still so much to learn, and I'm ready to learn it! I'm not sure if she'll try to get in touch at some point. I know she feels guilt, but she's a good enough person to know that her guilt is not an appropriate reason to contact me. I hope she's doing well and is getting her happiness from this break-up, but we don't need each other in life right now. I guess I would be surprised if she tried to get back in touch, because she's strong enough and well-meaning enough to not do it for selfish reasons, and I highly doubt she'll desire to get back together at any point. If she does, I'm now in a strong enough position to tell her no. If she starts calling, I won't be answering. 2
Numb79 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I am in the same boat as Orange. I do still love the girl.... but I realize that she is no longer the same person. Don't get me wrong... she hasn't changed at all. Well, I'm not really sure because I haven't had any contact for 5 weeks as well. What I'm saying is.... if there was contact she would be treating me differently. So in a sense, since she is treating me differently than what I remembered.... then she is no longer the same person? I don't know.... but it makes sense to me. Even if we were to make contact now.... I wouldn't even know what to say. She desreves to find her own happiness even if it means without me. I even told her that when we were still dating. I too deserve to find my own happiness as well. There are still times... more than I would like to admit, that I wish we were able to find happiness together. 1
Recommended Posts