amanning Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 My ex and I were together 6 years engaged lived together. You name it we probably went through it. From the death of our son to burying my parents. We got along wonderful and were best friends. I left him one time during these 6 years, due to the fact he turned into an alcoholic and was abusive. Yes I just contradicted myself. He begged I took him back on the condition he sobered up and got help. Last April my ex husband and his new girlfriend decided she wanted my kids and wanted to use his past against me in court . I explained this to him and we agreed to take a break . Let me add this the kids never saw him drink... They were asleep before he came home!!! He begged me for us to stay together. Mind u I never wanted for the break but my kids will always come first. The ex broke up with the other woman and is back to being happy with the arrangement. We decided to get back together and it has been he'll ever since!!!3 months him disappearing on weekends. Excuses my phones broke... About a month ago I wrote him a letter explaining I could not take this any longer... He needed to commit or get out. The only reason I wrote him is because it seems the only way to get through. Pathetic at 32 we have to communicate this way. His response he will commit . Valentines day where is he the damn bar!!! I was so upset!!! We had a huge fight the day after valentines day. I let all the past hurts come to the surface from when he was drinking before and how he hurt me. Well the 16th I left him a voicemail saying look I'm sorry if I hurt you but damn it I refuse to be this person. If it's done it's done . End it like adults talk things through. He has not contacted me since... We are both volunteer fireman and worked Vegas night last night. We did speak alittle. He looks horrible . My question to him was are u happy? His response no. Tells me he loves me and is in love with me. My response love doesnt run ESP without an explanation. I told him look I need some sort of closure at this point. We either sit down as adults and work it out or part ways but at the end of the day we had alot of years together. His response is we will talk tomorrow and guess what Mia again!!!! I am sooo frustrated!!! Let me add my youngest doesn't understand why daddy isn't seeing her. I have zero explanations. Maybe I'm wrong for feeling if you want to end something then have the balls to do so. We are not kids. Honesty is super important to me. Closure is also. He knows this. I could kick myself right now a for putting up with the alcohol and never giving up on him. I just feel like I'm dealing with a kid who wants to run away from everything. See when I left him for drinking there was no where for me to hide I had to deal with the craziness. Why can't I get some darn closure!!!! It probably doesn't help he's back in the bottle :(thanks for reading my rambling lol. I'm also sorry this ran into a huge paragraph my iPhone acting up!! If anyone has words of wisdom please share because I'm driving myself insane and don't understand how he can say he loves me is in love with me and wants his family but acts like a kid and just leaves me guessing and crying !!! Ugh
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