The_Joker Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Hey all! New to posting here, but have been reading these forums for quite awhile now! Just wanted to share a little situation I got here, I'll try to keep it short, and can give more details if need be, but was wondering if anyone else had encountered anything similar? A little background: So, I have known this girl for about 6 months that i like, circumstances made it impossible for anything to have happened between us (boyfriend - now ex-bf, other complicated issues), but those circumstances have changed, and I really want to tell her how I feel. In most cases, I would date the girl to get to know them first, but in this case, I know her and she knows me well enough that asking her out instead of telling her I like her would be kind of awkward. I've of course, been struggling to know whether she likes me back or not, and I always get mixed signals (story for another time), but the biggest problem is trying to get a time where we can be alone so we can just talk. Anyways, long story short (I can share a more detailed version later), I called her to meet up with me, just the two of us this week, over the phone... intention was just so that we could talk. Instead, she suggested dinner (a place where we had sort of discussed going to before, for another reason), which completely caught me off-guard and I started rambling like an idiot; she asked me when? I said... whatever works for you...anytime...I don't even know what i actually said because, but I started sounding really nervous I think, and indecisive! In the end, we're going for dinner this week, and hopefully I'll have the courage to just tell her. The thing is, I do not ask girls out over the phone, I would always do it in person, so the idiotic way I sort of responded to her suggestion made me look really indecisive when I'm not, it was cause I didn't want it to sound like I was asking her out on a date over the phone. Has anyone else ever been in an awkward situation like this? And any suggestions on what to do now? (Should I simply never mention that phone call again, unless she brings it up, or what?)
TheSingleGuy Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Do not mention that phone call and how you sounded nervous. And, more importantly, DO NOT tell her you like her. This will have the effect of chick repellant. Instead, you SHOW her you like her. By making small moves, very small, and moving up. Eye contact is huge, and if you can get that thing going where, during conversation, you and her gaze into each other's eyes, you are already half way there. Next, escalate physical touch. While seated next to her, "accidentally" push your knee or leg against hers. Don't leave it there in the contact position, but instead, pull away. While talking to her, touch her leg with your fingers. But don't leave your hand there, more of a brush thing. A few minutes later, you might put your palm on her leg, but this time, place your palm on her leg. DO NOT LEAVE IT THERE. Withdraw your affection. something inside her brain will be disappointed you pulled away. But if you leave it there, it'll be too much too soon and she'll get the creeps. Next baby step, maybe take her hand and place it on your leg. If she pulls away, this is an indicator that she's not ready for any more upgraded physical contact. If she leaves it there for a while, that's kind of a green light to get more physical. This takes practice. You have to read her, and that's where eye contact is so important. That's critical. If you move faster or slower than what she wants, she'll be turned off. But verbally communicating that you like her is suicide. DO NOT DO THIS!
Author The_Joker Posted March 4, 2012 Author Posted March 4, 2012 Thanks for reading! It's just that doing that probably will make it even more awkward :S I really don't get to see her all that often anymore, and school ends in just over a month or two, we don't live in the same city, so if anything were to happen, I am sort of under a time constraint here. Last thing I wanted to add is that she has been giving some signs of liking me but I just want to find out how she really feels! We are good friends, so we should be able to talk about it, I don't expect me telling her I like her is going to make her like me, in fact, that is not my intention at all. Really, my goal is to know how she feels about me at this point, and if there is mutual attraction, then we could take it forward because there really is no more time to wait. Either in the past 6 months, she has or hasn't developed feelings, and I need to know before we move apart.
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