Gigi70 Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Together for 5 years. Broke up 2 months ago. NC for 5 weeks. Now she contacted me to let me know her 4-year-old child is sick again in hospital. We were together when she gave birth so I had been in the child's life from day one. She is also my Godchild. It was a bad breakup, btw. Caught her on dating sites. What should I do? The child is faultless. Thank you.
carhill Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 The child is in the hospital. The child is your Godchild. Your ex contacted you. Visit the child. Welcome to LS 4
Author Gigi70 Posted March 4, 2012 Author Posted March 4, 2012 Thank you but that would mean breaking NC. I just fear that she is again using her child to guilt trip me. She has used her child before to guilt trip her friends, meet men, etc. If I want to have nothing to do with her ever again, how can I be involved with the child?
carhill Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 You can visit the child. If she is there, make the visit brief and focus on the child. If she is not there, no issues. When there is a child involved, either biologically or through emotional/spiritual commitment, the child trumps NC, IMO. If you feel you can do this without engaging her, I'd recommend it. Myself, I'd take the risk, if it is to be called that. The child is worth it. 3
EgoJoe Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I agree with Carhil, no need to contact the Ex, you're the Godfather so just go to the hospital and say as much.
Author Gigi70 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 I agree with Carhil, no need to contact the Ex, you're the Godfather so just go to the hospital and say as much. And then what? Tell the staff I want nothing to do with the mother? No way will they ask the mother to leave the sick child's room. No way!
carhill Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 There are times when one puts aside emotion and differences and does what needs to be done. It'll work out.
jerbear Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I have to agree with Carhill. If you are the Godfather, that relationships transcends your NC. Just go visit your Godchild.
Author Gigi70 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 I have to agree with Carhill. If you are the Godfather, that relationships transcends your NC. Just go visit your Godchild. I can't. Call me selfish but I just can't.
Author Gigi70 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 Then that's your answer. Own it. I do. I can't. Thank you anyway.
Falcon25 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 The child has nothing to do with this woman. The child is not yours. Unless, the child is terminally ill, there is no reason to visit someone who was looking to sleep with other men.
jerbear Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I do. I can't. Thank you anyway. As long as you own the decision and have no regrets. You'll be fine. Stay strong my friend.
Author Gigi70 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 The child has nothing to do with this woman. The child is not yours. Unless, the child is terminally ill, there is no reason to visit someone who was looking to sleep with other men. Thank you!! No, the child is not terminally ill. Now she tells me she is out of hospital already. I'm just going to ignore her.
carhill Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Glad to read the child is doing better. Back to NC and, if your firm decision is not to have any contact with the child, there's no need to leave channels of communication in place. Change your contact information and/or block hers. Make NC healthier. Good luck
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