Emy Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]My ex-boyfriend broke up with me on January 25, 2012. Westarted dating on October 21, 2011. He gave me the classic “it’s not you, it’sme jazz”, saying that he realized that he’s not emotionally ready for arelationship and he has to focus on college and whatnot (he’s a senior and I’ma junior). He said he has his future to work out, and he didn’t want me to lookinto local schools just so I could stay near him when I started college (noneof the schools I’m looking at are local) because he wouldn’t want to hold meback in life. He also said that the distance was hard for him, because we live30 minutes away and we only see each other once a week (when he broke up withme, we had gone two weeks without seeing each other because I had been sick.Perhaps that time apart propelled the breakup?)[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]As for our relationship, everything was going great. Wenever fought. He was the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. Three days beforeour breakup, everything seemed okay. Then things began to feel off. Two daysafter we broke up, I told him via Facebook message,[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] “This is going to be hard for me, andprobably hard for you. But I understand. Circumstances are cruel. Everythingseemed to be going so well, and you seemed like you were ready for a committedlong-term relationship. But you were probably just dazed by love, or desire, orwhatever you want to call it. I was too. That's what makes this especiallyhard. It was pretty sudden, but life hits hard. You broke my heart, yes, and Ididn't want things to end this way, but some things are out of my control (andyours). But I honestly hope that we can still be in each other's lives. We've had somepretty awesome conversations, and I admired who you are as a person long beforewe fell in love. It would be a shame if we stopped talking.” [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] I really hope that didn’t sound desperate. Three daysafter I sent that message, he asked me if I wanted the painting I gave him forChristmas back so I could enter it into an art show because he wasn’t going tohang it. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Me: i guess. unfortunately i dont think i canenter it in an art show because most shows don't accept framed artwork (whichdoesn't really make sense) and the painting's frame can't be removed because itwas custom framed. but i can probably sell it on etsy.com or something. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Him: Do you want me to mail it too you? [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Me: sure, but it doesn't really matter [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Him: Okie doke. So why doesn't art shows letyou used framed paintings? Whats the difference? [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Me: i dont know. just one of those weirdthings. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Him: Like how cats hump things with there butt [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Me: lol but there's a biological reason behindthat [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Him: Im just saying... my brother’s cats arerapists. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Me: i used to have fish like that. it waspretty disturbing. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Him: rapist fish? [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Me: yup [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Him: did it... rape the othe rfish? [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Me: it tried to at least. luckily they swamfast. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Him: damn... never head of fish rape before lol [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I was reminded of our old conversations (yeah, we're pretty interesting people lol). But we haven't talked since then. Obviously, I've been applying the no-contact rule (he hasn't tried to contact me either). Most relationship websites have given me that advice. But when should I contact him again? If I wait too long, I'm scared he'll forget about me and there will be no chance of us ever getting back together. And I don't want to give up on this relationship. I'm really sorry for this novel of a post but I need advice! [/sIZE][/FONT]
Author Emy Posted March 4, 2012 Author Posted March 4, 2012 ahh I'm sorry for the weird stuff in brackets that came up! I swear i'm not a spammer. i just copied and pasted the post from microsoft word D: .
jassib Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 (edited) that's fine Emy, i know what yr feeling right now i posted my story too and waiting for good ppl here to read it and start commenting i am on NC for 1 month and 20 days in the 3rd break with her, but i was thinking for something we have here girls/ladies with the same issue what about reversing positions like if you Emy was the my ex just pretending that then i will be dealing withna female nature like my real ex and the same thing for you if i were yr ex then you are dealing with same nature of male then here we could extract some facts well let me read yr story again i am in yr same issue with my g/f but i feel happy when i help ppl in the thing that i have it's a good feeling and gives me hope to get her back i think geeting back yr ex b/f for female is much easier that's coz the fact that men is more attached to females then females attached to males i dont know this is a point of my view it may be wrong what i mean that females has lot of tools to attract men so i think it will be easy for you make the change but do not break N.C change yr self do not try to stalk him in the same time NC plays a good chance but if you did it right the only thing bad in NC that it takes time that's coz it takes time for him/her to see the change after he/she has passed in some issues in his/her life to start looking in their history again who was my love how is she doing and here comes the shock as i read now you are turning the tables he/she will feel bad so bad coz they now think they cant get you back and you are changed in a massive way see hope is still there i will not lose hope neither you Edited March 4, 2012 by jassib
Author Emy Posted March 4, 2012 Author Posted March 4, 2012 The thing is, though, I don't know how I should change myself. When he broke up with me, he said I didn't do anything wrong. That doesn't exactly make things easy. What do you think?
jassib Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 what i mean about change yr self get yr self something new like new hobby change yr life style go with friends, live yr life. means to send a msg to him that you are fine and living well
ConfoosedOne Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Trust me when I say that your story touches my heart. But you must realize a few things. I can relate to your ex in that he doesn't want to hold you back by having you enroll in a school near his. He has big dreams, as far as I can see. He wants to walk into the real world with a lot of prospect and has ambitions. My ex-girlfriend dumped me a couple days ago, but I told myself that even if we got back together at any point, it wouldn't last after graduation, because I want to attend a university that's like 5 hours from the one she wants to attend. You must understand that he meant it when he said that you didn't do anything wrong, but he probably feels that now he must walk the path of his college life with only one goal: to succeed. I am sorry for all that has happened. But I hope what I am telling you may serve you well. I imagine that you have big dreams as well.
Author Emy Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 Thank you for your words of wisdom. But the thing that really gets to me is that I feel like he gave up too soon. I mean, he's going to a local college, so I'd still be able to see him next year (I'd be a senior in high school). I know the future is important, and it makes sense that he wanted to end things before our feelings got more serious, but I feel like we could've just decided to live in the moment. I wish we could've broken up for a different reason. Call me desperate, but I'm not willing to give up.
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