sid3 Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Excluding online dating, would you say on average men have more options or do women?
ascendotum Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Excluding online dating, would you say on average men have more options or do women? I'd say men, though I guess it depends on what your definition of options is, a ONS, a STR, a new marriage or falling crazy in lust with their dream man/woman. I think it hits women harder hitting 40 though, because of the contrast going from the SATC/milf yrs to the middle age yrs, and the fall off in desire by men to get in their pants. When I did OLD a few yrs back I noticed that there was something like 5 to 1 ratio of M to F in the 30s where I was, but that gap closed up a lot in the 40s as women flocked to it, because flirting wasn't happening for them anymore in their day to day life. One thing I notice with guys I know more than women around this age is that is that sex appeal is still very important. If a guy is going to settle down with the last woman for life he wants to have some sexy yrs to to bond with + reminisce over in the wrinkly yrs to come. Women > 40 complain how men their age chase after younger woman, but if the guys don't land any, then their options are no better & they are no happier. Where I live the biggest demographic change was single men in their 40s and I can see the % of old people living alone continuing to get biggger in the coming decades. 1
Andy_K Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Excluding online dating, would you say on average men have more options or do women? Men by a long shot. For one thing, men in their forties can still often date women in their thirties, whereas women in their forties are far less likely to get a LTR from a younger guy. For another thing, many guys 40+ have given up on dating entirely, thus removed themselves from the dating pool. This is less common for women. Accordingly, there are more 40+ women out there than there are guys interested in dating them, giving the guys who are still interested in dating the power of choice/scarcity. This often comes as a massive shock to some women who've been used to wielding all the power through their twenties.
LZ2000 Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 I'm 28, and i'd say i wouldn't mind dating any girl at any age as long as she is has a clear, calm, fair, level headed and reasonable perspective on everything.
Els Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 If you're a woman over 40 and single you might as well start hoarding cats because nobody is going to be interested in having a relationship with you. And it has little to do with your age, but everything to do with your bitter "damaged goods" attitude. Just take a stroll through the threads of the 30+ women on this forum...99% of them have zero positive things to say and come across as angry, man hating and sour. Who the hell wants that? I'll take a sweet, naive 20 year old over your grumpy ass any day. Pot, meet kettle... Not all of us 20-somethings are as naive as you think, dear. I wouldn't touch your grumpy ass with a 10-foot pole, for one. 5
musemaj11 Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Women are judged by youth and beauty that decrease along with age while men are judged by wealth and status which tend to grow along with age. I think its fair. What sucks is if you are a woman who has been fat and ugly or your life or if you are a man who has always made minimum wage all your life.
ascendotum Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 For another thing, many guys 40+ have given up on dating entirely, thus removed themselves from the dating pool. This is less common for women. Accordingly, there are more 40+ women out there than there are guys interested in dating them, giving the guys who are still interested in dating the power of choice/scarcity. Good point, this is true, I know a few (unless its no strings attached sex) and it was the same with a couple of my dad's bachelor mates who did'nt care after 40 & just totally focused on doing what they wanted in life. Read a recent magazine article on women in their 50s (and financially secure) that painted a similar picture.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Equal. Men can dream all they want, but in reality an average 40+ men, with a big gut, balding/gray hair and average income is not going to do well. Sure, he can dream of dating 20 year olds but he is not going to get any. I am 33 and wouldn't dream of dating 40+ guys unless they are exceptional. 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Exceptional = rich Just another gold digger. But hey that's alright...I'm sure they don't mind wineing and dining you for a little piece. Well not you, because you're too old. Why waste time on a 33 year old gold digger when there are firmer, hotter, 20 year old gold diggers out there Actually, quite a few have tried and didn't get anywhere. I am not impressed with money and would take a genuine connection over money any day. I was talking about women in general. I know that for most, money is a big plus. I have no illusions about either gender. 2
bac Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Excluding online dating, would you say on average men have more options or do women? Men do always have much more options because they have the right to choose first. But, if you mean only ONSs or FWBs, women have a better chance. Womens' options are limited mostly because they do not want ONSs and FWBs at all. Older women have much more options with men than younger women do, because older women are more open for ONSs and FWBs. If you mean a R, older women have a little chance compare to men or younger women.
carhill Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Women around my parts, irrespective of age, are rarely single long. My exW, a chubby 50+, had a live-in boyfriend (still does, two years later) before we were divorced. Her best friend, in the middle of a divorce, similar, though not live-in. Same with women I know more casually in my age group, which is 45-60. Recalling my exW's cell phone bill during the D, I'd say she had plenty of options. I think that speaks to the generality of the demographics around here rather than to any particular aspect of the people. Save for the sister of a friend's wife, I have not met or been introduced to any single women since my exW and I split up. IMO, one's options are only as relevant as their ability and proclivity to exercise them. As LS often shares, there seem to be plenty of people, men and women both, who have plenty of options but lament their dearth in these pages. By 'options', I mean potential healthy relationship partners, ostensibly single. If a person proactively chooses to selectively eliminate all of their options as a function of arbitrary standards, then that's a choice they own. If I had to generalize, I'd opine, in my age group, it's pretty equal, even though my specific experience doesn't reflect that. What people do with equality is what they do. 3
RedRobin Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Whoever believes they have more options after 40 does. Dating is all about maximizing what you do have, and minimizing the negative. I've made a living bucking social conventions to some extent. I'm not going to stop now 2
Author sid3 Posted March 4, 2012 Author Posted March 4, 2012 I'd say its probably about even among men and women of equal attractiveness. I may lean towards woman having more choices as I agree with the poster who stated a lot of men jump out of the dating pool. After a lifetime of frustration over women, giving up becomes the most attractive option. Although that begs the question of who has the better quality of options... broadly speaking, in general I notice fewer women becoming more attractive as the get into their 40s. It couldd be the same for men, IDK. So I am inclined to think for a guy who isn't short, fat and bald, provided he isn't socially retarded, the options are stacked in his favor. Even more so given the fact that men are more likely to pursue much younger dates. Ironically, that too reduces some men's options, IMO there are attractive ladies in their 40s getting less attention as men their age limit themselves to twenty/thirty somethings.
bac Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 If you're a woman over 40 and single you might as well start hoarding cats because nobody is going to be interested in having a relationship with you. And it has little to do with your age, but everything to do with your bitter "damaged goods" attitude. Just take a stroll through the threads of the 30+ women on this forum...99% of them have zero positive things to say and come across as angry, man hating and sour. Who the hell wants that? I'll take a sweet, naive 20 year old over your grumpy ass any day. You have the attitude towards older women (40s), because you have no idea what it is to have fun with them. When you are with a sweet girl, 20 y.o, you can have only a R on an emotional/intellectual level. Most young girls do not have much sexual desire for men in general. A naive girl is just an object to use for sex and the object lets you do what you want for some emotional/or rational reasons: friendship, support, money, marriage, kids or whatever. When you are with an older woman, you are both on the same wave and you feel the same in terms of sex. An older woman is capable to experience sexual feelings and to use you just for sex. As a generalization, in other words, when you are with an younger girl, you are with a cold fish who makes noises because of pain and does fake orgasms to get rid of you during sex as soon as possible. She has to do all the sexual stuff because it is the only way to her biological goal to get married and reproduce. And, every woman says to her sexual partner that she loved sex with him so so much. Women say it to men even they hated sex with them a lot. It is a general rule for females of any age.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Women. Because while most of the men die off after 40, many of the women become disinterested in men and/or relationships after 40. So women still have a lot of control over dating even after 40.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Women. Because while most of the men die off after 40 News flash: Everyone who's still alive when they're 40 is destined to die off after 40. OP - I think we all know that society claims & supports the idea that men have more options after 40. You're probably aware of this, right? Why did you start this thread? I just think it's getting tired and never goes anywhere good to make efforts to polarize people by their genders here on LS. Nobody should buy into that crap. Whatever age you are, and whatever sex you are, I hope you don't feel constrained by it from striving towards what you want in your life. 5
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 News flash: Everyone who's still alive when they're 40 is destined to die off after 40. You know what I mean. Men die off earlier than women because we're horrible decision makers and usually live dangerous and unhealthy lives. Look up the life expectancy for men and women post 40.
Author sid3 Posted March 4, 2012 Author Posted March 4, 2012 You have the attitude towards older women (40s), because you have no idea what it is to have fun with them. When you are with a sweet girl, 20 y.o, you can have only a R on an emotional/intellectual level. Most young girls do not have much sexual desire for men in general. A naive girl is just an object to use for sex and the object lets you do what you want for some emotional/or rational reasons: friendship, support, money, marriage, kids or whatever. When you are with an older woman, you are both on the same wave and you feel the same in terms of sex. An older woman is capable to experience sexual feelings and to use you just for sex. As a generalization, in other words, when you are with an younger girl, you are with a cold fish who makes noises because of pain and does fake orgasms to get rid of you during sex as soon as possible. She has to do all the sexual stuff because it is the only way to her biological goal to get married and reproduce. And, every woman says to her sexual partner that she loved sex with him so so much. Women say it to men even they hated sex with them a lot. It is a general rule for females of any age. That is a bitch slap of truth right there. There is much that can be learned on LS for those paying attention. Sadly the clueless are too comfortable in their misery. Haha cat ladies are about as common as leprechauns and unicorns. That's an urban legend. Anyone who believes all women aren't attractive in their 40s should stop watching porn and venture out of the basement once in awhile. In the real world, most of the sexiest women I encounter are in their 40s.
Oxy Moronovich Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Women. Because while most of the men die off after 40, many of the women become disinterested in men and/or relationships after 40. So women still have a lot of control over dating even after 40. Dude, your posts can be so off the mark that I sometimes wonder if you're a female.
Oxy Moronovich Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 In the real world, most of the sexiest women I encounter are in their 40s. Maybe in thriving cities like NYC or LA. But outside big cities, the average 40-something yr old is pretty unappealing.
Yookie Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 In the area I live in and the social circles that I'm apart of, the men have way more options than the women. Most events that I attend have women outnumbering men by about 9 to 1. It doesn't bother me one bit though because for my age bracket (mid 40's) I seem to attract more than my fair share. This is probably because I'm physically fit whereas there seem to be a lot of ladies my age that have let themselves go. So it really doesn't matter generally who has more options because individually ANYONE can increase their own options by focusing on self improvement to make themselves stand out from the herd.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Dude, your posts can be so off the mark that I sometimes wonder if you're a female. Oh I see, because I'm afraid of masturbation and women I must be a girl. It all makes sense now...
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Dude, your posts can be so off the mark that I sometimes wonder if you're a female. Spoken like a true disliker of women!
Author sid3 Posted March 4, 2012 Author Posted March 4, 2012 OP - You're probably aware of this, right? Why did you start this thread? No I wasn't aware, it was a legimate question, with no intention of polarizing either gender. I started this thread for two reasons, one being curiousity, the second is more selfish
El Brujo Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 What sucks is if you are a woman who has been fat and ugly or your life or if you are a man who has always made minimum wage all your life. ^^^That.^^^
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