TheSingleGuy Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I was just thinking about this. Another guy posted a thread about how his girlfriend was always talking to a male "friend" on her cell phone and he is suspicious. As a kid growing up in an era where there were no cell phones, if a guy wanted to pursue my mom, he'd have to communicate with her over the old fashioned land-line telephone. A phone that anyone could have answered, including my dad. And prior to that, we've seen in old black and white movies, where a young man who wanted to "court" a girl would have to knock on the front door of her home. Imagine how different that would have been, the days prior to the telephone! Technology is advancing and changing everything. Today, for me personally, it seems that every woman I date exclusively has a lot of male "friends". I assume all women have male "friends" today. But I can tell you for sure, when I was a kid growing up in my house with a land-line, that dad could have answered, my mom didn't have any male "friends". And still doesn't. (My parents are of the generation where they stayed married and didn't get divorced.) So I started asking a few of my friends who also grew up in that generation, if they remember their moms having male "friends". None of my friend's moms had male friends either. Of course, if mom had been approached by a guy back then and he asked for her number, she would have instantly turned him down, maybe not because she wasn't necessarily interested, but because it would have certainly gotten her caught. Dad could have answered the phone! But now that we have cell phones and text messaging and gmail and facebook... Courting a woman has really changed dramatically over the last few decades. This technology has made the idea of cheating a lot more tempting. The dots I'm connecting, are, before cell phones, married women didn't have male friends. Now that we have cell phones, they all do. So what does that tell you about these male "friends"? They didn't exist when it was non-private communication, but now that communication is private, they do.
Oxy Moronovich Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I've known about what you've said even before Bush's second term in office. Cell phones were created for women, not for men. They are convenient. But women are obsessed with them in a way men aren't. Women use cell phones for: --comfort. When they are in public settings, they whip them out and start fiddling with them and even pretend they are on the phone. --an excuse for insecure women to demand guys to call them every day. --to store up a bunch of random friends and acquaintances to make them feel popular. I wouldn't have a problem if cell phones were outlawed and everyone had to go back to landlines.
RedRobin Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I have male friends, and they are just that. Friends. Have been for a very long time. When I meet a man I'm interested in romantically, I'm perfectly happy to introduce him to my friends (male and female). I'm not ditching people who have been through thick and thin with me just because guy-du-jour want to have sex with me for awhile and call it a 'relationship'.... which is what most people seem to do these days. Having friends of either gender has come about partly because so few of us can rely on a SO to be with us for life. Friends are the family you pick.
ThatDudeXO Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Everyone is different. Some women have male friends for different reasons. I go for the type that don't feel the need to have many male friends.
RedRobin Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 What is 'many'? and what if she has female friends too? I guess what I'm saying is that character and consideration don't come with gender labels. I don't see any reason to ditch someone just because they happened to born with different parts. Then again, I have a pretty clear idea of the kind of man I'm compatible with long term. I'm not going to sleep with a guy just because he's cute and we get along. I can imagine that would be confusing to alot of men I'd be trying to get to know in a romantic way. If he were a secure guy, he'd probably learn alot about me from the kind of people I choose as true friends.
Star Gazer Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Cell phones were created for women, not for men. What a crock!
Author TheSingleGuy Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 Just think about all the "I'm suspicious of my girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband" threads on here and then think about the role of the cell phone in these suspicions. Makes you go hmmm....
volkl1996 Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I could not agree more. I get texts from girls all day long. Girls I went out 1-2 times, girls I went out with 3-4 times...it's non stop. I went thru an exerciuse last night to undrfiend them on Facebook (ugh, don't get me started on FB and dating) and to tell them it needs to stop. A girl I went out 3 times the end of last year has been texting me all day wanting to meet up tonight. For me, it''s not healthy. I think it's one reason I cannot "settle" on one relationship as I havre all these "other" girls texting me. It feels unhealthy for me...I realized it this week. I flirt back, I text back...I am stopping.
FitChick Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I wouldn't have a problem if cell phones were outlawed and everyone had to go back to landlines. I hate cell phones. You pay a fortune for shoddy service and reception. I much prefer my landline where I can have a conversation that isn't overheard by strangers. I have a cell phone for emergencies when I am away from home or for calling someone to say I will be late. Beyond that, I never text and don't want to learn how. Some people say the internet has made cheating easier but I think it's the cell phone for reasons already cited.
RedRobin Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I tell men I'm just getting to know that I don't text. If he wants to talk to me, he has to call. If he calls more than a couple of times, he's going to have to arrange for a meeting/date or off the plate he goes. I'm perfectly happy to call or ask a man out too, so it's not all one way. all this virtual carrot dangling is really annoying. It is just one more device that keeps people from really connecting.
FitChick Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 all this virtual carrot dangling is really annoying. Men really like dangling their carrots.
xxoo Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 The dots I'm connecting, are, before cell phones, married women didn't have male friends. Now that we have cell phones, they all do. And ice cream causes drowning! Could it possibly be that your mom, and your friends' moms, had lives that were very "women centered", either staying home with kids, or working with mostly female coworkers (teaching, nursing, clerical, etc)? Now, as women have moved more solidly into the workforce and up the corporate ladder, women NEED to network with men in order to stay professionally competitive. Married women who are taking random men's phone numbers and making friends....I really don't think that's the reality. 2
RedRobin Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Men really like dangling their carrots. That cracked me up.
Jynxx Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Adapt or extinct. Every generation had stuff that changed human interaction like the previous generation knew it. You just have to learn how to handle it. Also your view on events lacks any sort of samplesize and is quite simplistic and thus very inacurate.
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