sanlucascerveza Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 My gf of 2 years and mother of my newborn baby has been talking to an old co worker on the phone for the last coupl months. The convos consist of her giving him opinions and advice on his struggling relationship. I know because she talks to him in front of me. Until the last time when I caught her talking to him behind closed doors. I listened and there was nothing suspicious on her end. She claims she is trying to get him to line her up with a job and give him relationship advice. I think it's inappropriate and asked her to stop talking to him. Did I over react or do I have a valid suspicion something else besides relationship advice could be going on
TheSingleGuy Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 You are not over-reacting at all. The cell phone has changed everything. It used to be, this guy would've had to have the stones to call the house phone, a phone that you might have answered. And then you'd be asking him why he wanted to talk to your girl all the time. Trust and believe, no guy would be calling as a "friend" if that were still the case. If you indicated you don't like this, your girl will lose attraction for you because your behavior is "insecure". If you try to "control" her, you will be labeled a "control freak". Again, unattractive. If you let her develop a relationship with another man right under your nose, your girl will connect dots that you are either spineless or really naive or that you simply don't care about her. This is bothering you, she's already picked up on that fact, so if you don't do anything, she'll connect the dots to spineless, which is not attractive. The cell phone has changed relationship history forever. For me, all trust is gone. But I say any guy who is calling your woman and developing a relationship with her is a threat. I just don't know how to deal with it. And I don't think most guys do, either. Our forefathers didn't have to deal with this kind of problem to this degree. It's a fairly new problem, in terms of the history of man-kind.
TeeZee Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I agree. If she can't understand how this is an inappropriate relationship, especially since you have a newborn, she has some personal work to do. I'd recommend she talk to a counsellor. I wouldn't let it slide if it bugs you.
CC12 Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 The convos consist of her giving him opinions and advice on his struggling relationship. This is how girlfriends talk to each other. This in no way sounds like anything close to them hooking up, or whatever. They're friends. I wouldn't find this inappropriate. I don't think you would either, if it were another female she was giving relationship advice to. do I have a valid suspicion something else besides relationship advice could be going on Do you have a valid reason for your suspicion? Based on what you wrote, there's nothing going on there. She talks to him in front of you. You even eavesdropped on a private conversation and didn't hear anything suspicious. What exactly do you think is wrong or inappropriate with their friendship? Honest question.
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