AgainstAllAuthority Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Hi there, my name is Eric and I am 21 yo. About a month ago I met a lovely lady in a forum of similar interests, we got to chat, a lot - almost everyday for hours (4-7 hours), via voice communication (MSN chat) and I really grew to like her. Now, about 3 months ago she broke up with her ex', which they were together for a long time due to her not enjoying the RS anymore as well as her realizing that she wasn't over her ex' before him. I asked her about it and she says she knows she won't go back to her ex' (the one before) even if the chance was given because they are to different now (she isn't in touch with him). She has told me, as part of our chatting, that she isn't interested in a RS right now and that she wants to get over her ex' first. I fancy her a lot, she's smart, charming, elegant, clever and most importantly, she has a lust for knowledge - which makes our conversations all so enjoyable. I know several guys tried to hit on her since her breakup but she has rejected them all, recently she has said that this is as long as she ever been alone ever since she started to date (she kind jumps from one RS to another - never cheated though). I know that her rejecting guys meant she isn't ready, but on the other hand, she has always been in a RS and she did tell me she yearns for a man in her life on one hand, but she's also afraid to open up on the other. So I kinda dunno what to do or say next, I do want her, obviously, but just not sure how to bring it up if at all? On the one hand I don't wanna tell her now cause she told me she isn't ready - and I am willing to wait a bit more, but on the other hand I'm afraid that if I wait to long I'll miss my chance, and that someone will get her (this thought came to me the moment she said this is her longest time alone). I'd appreciate any advice on how to proceed.
krissy1989f Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Hi She sounds like a very smart young lady. I guess I should learn some lessons from her! lol...She is doing the right thing by giving herself time and space and not rushing into things. Usually if you rush into something it's with the wrong kind of guy, and she may be thinking that. If you really like her, give her her space but let her know you are interested. If she sees you are still around and have given her the space she needs right now she will be more apt to start something serious with you. Good luck with everything
Author AgainstAllAuthority Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 Hi She sounds like a very smart young lady. I guess I should learn some lessons from her! lol...She is doing the right thing by giving herself time and space and not rushing into things. Usually if you rush into something it's with the wrong kind of guy, and she may be thinking that. If you really like her, give her her space but let her know you are interested. If she sees you are still around and have given her the space she needs right now she will be more apt to start something serious with you. Good luck with everything Thanks for the quick reply! I appreciate it. I haven't got the slightest doubt that she is doing the right thing, the problem is, or rather, what's bother me is that she hasn't been single for this long in her past, which makes me a tad worried that someone else will get to her because I'm giving her said space... Why couldn't it be simpler
InJest Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Give her all the space she wants and more. Don't initiate contact with her, and next time she tries to talk to you, tell her that you're respecting her wish for space, and tell her only to contact you again if she wants to date.
krissy1989f Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Yes but she might of realized now that rushing from relationship to relationship didn't work for her. At least she's being honest and not stringing u along bcuz believe me that sucks!
Author AgainstAllAuthority Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 Give her all the space she wants and more. Don't initiate contact with her, and next time she tries to talk to you, tell her that you're respecting her wish for space, and tell her only to contact you again if she wants to date. May I ask why should I do that? I never did express my feelings to her, she doesn't know (well, lets face it, she probably feels something), and I do respect her need for space right now by not mentioning I'd like to date her etc. I am fine being her friend for now, though I am sure it will change.
Author AgainstAllAuthority Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 Yes but she might of realized now that rushing from relationship to relationship didn't work for her. At least she's being honest and not stringing u along bcuz believe me that sucks! Oh, I agree, she doesn't string me along, if anything, I am stringing myself along (well, that would have been true if I believed we'd end up in a RS).
krissy1989f Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I was strung alone for 6 months and it ended messy when I got tired of being strung along. I just don't wait to see other people make that mistake. Give her a little time, but don't wait forever. If it's a couple months down the road and theres nothing you either have to move on or talk with her. But for now, just relax
Author AgainstAllAuthority Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 Thanks Krissy! Yes, I think it's best to give her some time, guess I'll stick around until I feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry of what happened to you, you sound great and really didn't deserve it! Well, his lose, right? I'd love to hear some more opinions from ladies mainly.
Author AgainstAllAuthority Posted March 4, 2012 Author Posted March 4, 2012 Bump. I would really love to hear some more POVs.
sid3 Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Have you even met this girl, your posts sound as though you have only chatted online with her.
Author AgainstAllAuthority Posted March 4, 2012 Author Posted March 4, 2012 Have you even met this girl, your posts sound as though you have only chatted online with her. Oh, I thought it was pretty clear, no, I have not met her yet of course, we met via a forum of similar interests, been chatting for 1 month now, and that is it - of course I'd love to meet her, but as a date not as just friends.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Talking to a girl online for 4 hours is extremely excessive. Stick to 20 minutes or less. Otherwise you'll look needy. Trust me, I've had similar problems with girls before.
Author AgainstAllAuthority Posted March 4, 2012 Author Posted March 4, 2012 Talking to a girl online for 4 hours is extremely excessive. Stick to 20 minutes or less. Otherwise you'll look needy. Trust me, I've had similar problems with girls before. If I'd meet her in some OLD site than I'd agree with you 100%, in fact, I wouldn't even ask such a thing. Difference is, I met her in some forum which is political/economy oriented, hence why we had those long long talks, just about politics, money, economy, wars, religions, philosophy, men, women, etc etc. I haven't started chatting with her thinking I might fancy her, it was purely because I enjoyed chatting with her via forum, we moved to MSN voice chat because forum became rather slow (the need to wait long time to get a reply, gets flooded, etc). I guess I could tune down the amount of hours we talk, but 20 minutes is way to little for us to cover even 10% of a subject :\
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 If I'd meet her in some OLD site than I'd agree with you 100%, in fact, I wouldn't even ask such a thing. Difference is, I met her in some forum which is political/economy oriented, hence why we had those long long talks, just about politics, money, economy, wars, religions, philosophy, men, women, etc etc. I haven't started chatting with her thinking I might fancy her, it was purely because I enjoyed chatting with her via forum, we moved to MSN voice chat because forum became rather slow (the need to wait long time to get a reply, gets flooded, etc). I guess I could tune down the amount of hours we talk, but 20 minutes is way to little for us to cover even 10% of a subject :\ Yup. Been there too. Exactly 100% how you are describing things (minus the online part I met such a woman in person) right down to talking about politics and such. Same thing applies though. I'm pretty sure she thought I was clingy or needy. We probably met the same exact person. Maybe.
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