Mme. Chaucer Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 In response to the original post - I am not going to delve into the men, women, better, worse quagmire, but I would like to point out that it's a generally accepted bit of wisdom that quality IS superior to quantity, generally.
dasein Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 You guys underestimate how a shy/ less confident woman can have huge problems in the dating scene. No we don't really. If your lack of putting yourself out there and shyness leads to you staying home, sure, you will get less interest. But take an average woman and an average man. Both are equally attractive. Both walk into ten social environments. The woman will get more interest based on her appearance alone, where it takes more for men, mainly because men are still expected to do most of the approaching and initiating in a socially "smooth" way. If in this initiating, the man expresses a less than confident aura, inexperience, shyness, he simply will not get as much interest as a woman will who has those traits also.
mesmerized Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 No we don't really. If your lack of putting yourself out there and shyness leads to you staying home, sure, you will get less interest. But take an average woman and an average man. Both are equally attractive. Both walk into ten social environments. The woman will get more interest based on her appearance alone, where it takes more for men, mainly because men are still expected to do most of the approaching and initiating in a socially "smooth" way. If in this initiating, the man expresses a less than confident aura, inexperience, shyness, he simply will not get as much interest as a woman will who has those traits also. I agree that it's harder for a shy man than a shy woman. That's not the point. In your first post you made it sound like a woman's confidence is insignificant which is totally wrong. Maybe, for an extremely gorgeous girl it doesn't matter much. But for 90+ percent of girls its a big deal! The kind of attention I can get when I'm actually active, looking at men, laughing and socializing with men is much more than the one I get when I'm shy and lack confidence. This, in fact, was the main difference between me and one of my best friends. She dated many guys, got approached a lot and the way she achieved this was by being confident and actively engaging in the process. She tried to teach me how she does it but I've been too shy to practice it most of the time.
lino Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 I'm a man and I don't give a sh*t about ' quantity' I prefer one quality woman over many lower grade ones any day. 3
grkBoy Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 In my opinion, both preferences are motivated by similar selfish desires. However, according to my observation, preference for quantity tends to be looked upon more negatively than preference toward quality. A man who prefers to not commit to one woman and keep his options open is seen with a much worse reputation than a woman who prefers to be with a man who has a better job and education than she does. You have to also look at WHO is making these assumptions. I never see guys ridicule other guys who decide to stay single and only sleep around. I see plenty of women do...often times because they secretly see this guy as "desirable", but wish he would commit. So they ridicule and call him "childish" or a pig. Granted if it was a fat ugly guy nailing loads of women, these very women wouldn't even care. IMHO...these women are angry because they see all the "desirable" guys focus on quantity while the guys who want quality are not up to their standards. The only men I see who do ridicule are those who perhaps hold a higher moral code and/or are jealous because they themselves can't get women that easily. There are a few like me who ONLY ridicule if these guys are misleading women in order to get laid...meaning they lie to them, get laid, then run off. NOW...this does go in reverse. I'll see plenty of the "sex only" guys lament on why the hottest women seemingly won't just put out and be happy with that. Thus they're irked because these women demand "quality" in that they want a handsome man who will commit, rather than just give them a good time. In the end, the real blame is on societal norms. For decades we've shown the idea of a man who gets loads of women as a "great thing" while women who can't get a man is seen as a "failure". Thus women who seemingly only become a "pump and dump" is seen as "less valued" than a woman who snags a handsome man into marriage and keeps him loyal. The ridicule on the "ladies men" by women is merely a reflection on how these guys keep those women from fulfilling the ideology society pushed on them. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 I'd say wanting quantity can be more selfish than wanting quality. For instance guys who already have a good thing going with one woman should just stick to that one woman and let some of the less fortunate guys have a chance with some of the ladies.
ThaWholigan Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 I'd say wanting quantity can be more selfish than wanting quality. For instance guys who already have a good thing going with one woman should just stick to that one woman and let some of the less fortunate guys have a chance with some of the ladies. ^^This is wishful thinking: it just doesn't work like that unfortunately.
Author musemaj11 Posted March 6, 2012 Author Posted March 6, 2012 I'd say wanting quantity can be more selfish than wanting quality. For instance guys who already have a good thing going with one woman should just stick to that one woman and let some of the less fortunate guys have a chance with some of the ladies. Lol, actually I read a theory stating that the concept of monogamy was born out of societal need to prevent all the women from being hoarded up by only a few men.
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