nick d Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I have been broken up with my fiancé for one month now. But I'm only on day 2 of NC. She could care less about me and is out partying and dating and having the time of her life.. But all I want to do is sleep. I get more depressed when I go out. Does anyone else feel like this?
Numb79 Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 You are not alone when it comes to just wanting to stay home and sleep. The problem I have is that I can never sleep a whole night through. I keep waking up at the same time no matter what time I go to bed the night before. I know things are really tough.... I have been almost 5 weeks of NC and to be honest with you, I don't even know if I have even made any progress. I guess we just have to stick to NC and be patient. I know this sucks..... but hopefully, everything will get better in time.
Author nick d Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 Yeah I've been taking sleeping pills to put me out each day. And trust me NC isn't going to do anything for me. I pushed her too far away. Just look at these messages I got 2 days ago before NC ... Message: I don't have plenty of guys I'm just saying I'm done dealing with you, you act like little boy!!! I already told you I don't give a **** about you anymore! You keep say oh I'm going to stop talking to you then you text me a bunch and get mad that I don't text you back... I can't take it anymore I am changing my # tomorrow!!! Message: Seriously calm the fcck down!!! I can't just stop everything I'm doing to text you!!! I swear you act like a teenager, I can't handle this!!! Message: Honestly I have bigger problems then dealing with all you boys
TaintedHeart Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Is she 12? Why would you pine over someone that speaks to you like that?
Author nick d Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 I guess I'm just pathetic. I'm done talking to her.
blotter Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 (edited) No contact isn't supposed to be some scheme to get your ex to come back. No contact is for you to disengage and begin healing and moving on. None of these things will happen if you keep talking to her, tearing the scab off, and hurting yourself more in the process. If the ex contacts in the future that is a side issue. Edited March 3, 2012 by blotter
TaintedHeart Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I guess I'm just pathetic. I'm done talking to her. No you're not. You're obviously a decent guy to care. You're just caring for the wrong girl.
Author nick d Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 Yeah unfortunately I am caring for the wrong girl. It's crazy how you can be with someone 3 years and not see they're true colors til after its over.
TaintedHeart Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Yeah unfortunately I am caring for the wrong girl. It's crazy how you can be with someone 3 years and not see they're true colors til after its over. I know. But you've seen them now, and you don't like them, so don't settle for it.
Author nick d Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 So is it better to go out and pretend I'm happy? Or stay home and get it out of my system?
TaintedHeart Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 So is it better to go out and pretend I'm happy? Or stay home and get it out of my system? No, never pretend. You need to heal, do what is best for you. But when you're emotional don't contact her just to ease the pain, you will regret it and it will set the healing process back.
Author nick d Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 Good advice thank you. I've tried NC three different times already. And I've broke it every time. But this time after she sent me those messages, I can't let myself talk to her again. The problem is, is she's gorgeous and can get any guy. And she knows it.
CLS63AMG Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 LOL @ her messages. She's angry, leave her the hell alone. And I'll bet dollars to your donuts she isn't out dating or partying at all, but with you keeping in contact you are just stoking her ego to think that you'll always be there for her. Cut that cord now! Then she'll go through what you are now. Either way, you deserve better than her, sounds like a witch to me.
Author nick d Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 Unfortunately she is out dating and partying. (I was an idiot and checked her Facebook and saw pictures) I did everything for her. And I'm not a bad looking guy either. But for some reason I kept letting her talk to me like that up until now.
Numb79 Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Nick You need to stay strong during this time frame. I know it is a lot easier said than done. You don't know how many times I have wanted to reach out to the Ex. Even after 5 weeks of NC I still do!! The only thing now is..... I don't even know what I would even say. I am sorry to hear about how she is treating you. I know the feeling..... that happened with me with a previous break up before this one. I think thats why I never pressed the issue with this one. Its kind of as if you don't even know the person anymore.... like they just pulled a 180 on you! Its very hard to deal with.... thats why you need NC. Not to win her back.... but to take care of yourself. You will still have the urge to talk to her.... and to be honest, you will still feel like crap! But at least you are not being insulted and put down by someone else. I would like to tell you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.... but to be honest, even I don't see that light right now. But, I do have faith that there is one. Just hang in there..... NO CONTACT!!! It will be really difficult to do.... but just put your feelings first!!
Author nick d Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 ^ Thank you for that. This time I will make sure I keep NC. No matter how hard it gets..
mike588 Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 (edited) Unfortunately she is out dating and partying. (I was an idiot and checked her Facebook and saw pictures) I did everything for her. And I'm not a bad looking guy either. But for some reason I kept letting her talk to me like that up until now. Just because she's out dating and partying doesn't mean crap!! That could be her way of dealing with the b/u....maybe deep inside she's hurting too and using the partying to ease her pain. We all deal with breakups and the pain in different ways. Do NOT contact her....if you feel the "I have to respond" wait a few days and keep it short without any I miss you's....I'm still hurting...Boo Hoo stuff. I was once where you are now....7 months ago my ex. dumped me....I went STRICT N.C. moved on the best I could....put her behind me now she's contacting me. Edited March 3, 2012 by mike588
CLS63AMG Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Block her facebook if you haven't already, shes only posting those pictures for you to see. Block her FB and NO contact. As for dating right after a BU, its a bad idea. I went on one 3 weeks after and it was pretty bad. All it did was make me miss my crappy ex and think I wouldn't find that connection again. It didn't last long though, have way through the car ride home I was back to normal and proud that I did it. As for her, sounds like a coping mechanism.
SongOfAWoman Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I just looked at a dating site today. I'm not ready but I wanted to see what it was like. It made me way more depressed. What a motley collection of liars and freaks it was. I don't want to do this again. I never thought I'd have to date again, and I'm not sure I can.
Author nick d Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 ^ I too found myself looking at a dating site. And I agree with you.. Nothing even close to considerable. I also thought I'd never have to date again :/
LSgirl Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I was looking at Match.com earlier tonight because my friend was telling me I should check it out, I got to see guys around my age and they all looked like douchebags that were trying way too hard, it made me miss my ex even more!
jus d'orange Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Hey you don't need dating sites. Or anyone! You've got you. Maybe in a while, we can all go looking for love again. But after a breakup, you need to work on your relationship with yourself. I bet there's a lot of interesting things about you you didn't even know. For instance, how does it look when you've been working out hard for a few months? What about that one hobby you'd often thought of trying but never got around to? It's time to refocus on yourself! After doing some serious personal house-cleaning, you'll be ready to attract the people you're looking for. AND, thanks to learning from your break-up, you'll be ready for a way better relationship.
Author nick d Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 Yeah I went out to the club tonight. That wasn't a good idea at all!!! I almost wrote her Just don't see anyone that even compares to her :/.
jus d'orange Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Yeah I went out to the club tonight. That wasn't a good idea at all!!! I almost wrote her Just don't see anyone that even compares to her :/. You will eventually. You'll come to realize that if someone leaves you, then they no longer deserve your devotion and thoughts. And there are ALWAYS better people out there, once someone is gone. If a relationship ended, at least for the time being, the two of you weren't perfect for each other. That being said, for the time being, don't go out if it makes you hurt more. Stay home and maybe just chat on the phone to friends. Or watch movies (but without love stories... tough, I know!) or read, or listen to totally new music. You'll deal with the emotions when you deal with them, but try to avoid doing things that make you feel worse. Eventually, though, you'll need to get out there and start being social again!
Author nick d Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 I just won't find anyone as beautiful as my ex again and I know it And it's so hard to meet girls.. I don't care for clubs much and really don't want to meet a girl there anyways :/
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