Smithers Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Recently, almost overnight to some degree, I've found myself extremely attracted to a girl I work with. Unfortunately she's engaged and all I'd really like to do at this point is to stop thinking about and being attracted to her. As I look back some things are obvious. One thing is I'm fairly certain she was attracted to me at one point. I say this, because of a verbal interaction we had and body language she was using. At the time I was probably oblivious, but as I look back it's pretty obvious that she was flirting with me and interested. At this time she was not engaged. I'll admit, at the time I liked her, but wasn't overly interested in being involved with someone.. I'll also admit that I probably feel this way because a few weeks ago I decided to try flirting with her, and I realized that I actually like this girl. We get along great. From time to time she will say something subtly that makes me wonder, always gives me big smiles, etc. What can I do to stop thinking about this girl? It's really starting to agitate me that I can't control this feeling and that I didn't act when I had the chance. Any advice is appreciated!
FrustratedStandards Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Sorry man, but there's nothing you can really do. If you like someone, you like them. You can still go for her. It's not like she's married with kids. Basically she is still single. She's engaged? Well if that's really a factor, try hitting on her and asking her out. If she's serious about the engagement, you will be able to tell right away. She will say no and won't go on a date with you. If she's engaged due to lack of better options (which, trust me, happens often) then she will be open to the idea. Not all is lost. Once you know for sure that she isn't into you, then you will be able to stop thinking about her and move on. The reason she's still on your mind is because you think she might reciprocate the feelings. Find out if she does, and it will be easy to take from there.
CC12 Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Unfortunately she's engaged and all I'd really like to do at this point is to stop thinking about and being attracted to her. You said you just want to stop thinking about her, and then you went on to write three paragraphs about her where you analyze her behavior toward you and if it meant she liked you. That pattern of thought doesn't help you. Here's where your thoughts about her should stop: She's engaged. Unavailable. That's it. From there you should focus on something else. Do a crossword puzzle, go for a jog, do that rubber-band-on-the-wrist trick, anything to get your brain active and keep your thoughts elsewhere. Eventually you won't be thinking about her at all. Do you know any other girls you could go on some fun dates with?
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