Paper Roses Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 I'm an idiot. I'll be brief. I met this guy who is WAY out of my league, he's friends with my friend's boyfriend. We're friends on a social networking site. I know him a little, but not really at all. About a month ago I was feeling brave around 2 in the morning and he was the only one on my IM, so I whispered to him "Go to bed!" he said "LOL". We got to talking, he asked me to go to yahoo and talk to him, I was hoping he'd ask to call me. Well, we're having a nice chat about music and he starts asking if we can chat on cam. ON CAM??? wtf? I have some negative thoughts about those chicks who get on webcams with guys, I may be off but if memory serves there was only one thing a guy wanted you to do on cam, so I opened a can of bitch on him, started saying mean, bitchy things to everything he said and no, I don't own a webcam. I just logged out of yahoo without a word to him. In mid Feb, it was his birthday and I saw the notification so I shot him a Happy Birthday and got back a 'hey, thanks.' A couple of days ago I wrote him a note to tell him I was sorry about being such a bitch that night and that he really didn't deserve it cause he's not some creeper bothering every woman around and i DID talk to him first and it was bugging me that I was so rude. I got an answer right away that he had NO idea WHAT I was talking about. I get it, I have no chance with this guy, he's probably sickened by me, but he's a cool guy and we have the same friends and I will be seeing him tomorrow night. Is there anything I can do or say to make what I've done a little less humiliating? Is there anything I can do to make a friend out of this guy? Thanks. With love, Silly b*tch.
volkl1996 Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 You have a right to feel the way you do about webcams; and in my opinion it was weird, maybe even perverted of him to ask. Stick to your opinion and how you felt. If you must apoligize, apologize for the tone only.
Author Paper Roses Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 Oh wow, so I was thinking right. Thank you so much. I feel so much better. I really did feel like a psycho. Why did he pretend he didn't know what I was talking about? Does this gorgeous pervert actually have shame?
ditzchic Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Oh wow, so I was thinking right. Thank you so much. I feel so much better. I really did feel like a psycho. Why did he pretend he didn't know what I was talking about? Does this gorgeous pervert actually have shame? I don't think it's shame. Creepers tend to not think much of their creepiness. He probably actually doesn't remember
Author Paper Roses Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 I don't think it's shame. Creepers tend to not think much of their creepiness. He probably actually doesn't remember Well, this just keeps getting better. Now he thinks I have an I.Q. of 14. Do I ignore him when I see him next? He always says hello and talks to me. Do I say Hi and get away from him? How can I not look like a moron. And has he told any of his friends what a flake I am?
ditzchic Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Well, this just keeps getting better. Now he thinks I have an I.Q. of 14. Do I ignore him when I see him next? He always says hello and talks to me. Do I say Hi and get away from him? How can I not look like a moron. And has he told any of his friends what a flake I am? What are you worried about? The dude did something you deemed inappropriate and then, to make it worse, forgot that he upset you. There's nothing here for you to be concerned about. It's his problem. I wouldn't give a second thought to what the weirdo might think of me or what he tells his friends. He's not worth your time or concern.
Author Paper Roses Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 You have your answer already Yes. I believe I do. Thank you Volk. (Hey....you got a cam, huh, baby?)
Author Paper Roses Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 What are you worried about? The dude did something you deemed inappropriate and then, to make it worse, forgot that he upset you. There's nothing here for you to be concerned about. It's his problem. I wouldn't give a second thought to what the weirdo might think of me or what he tells his friends. He's not worth your time or concern. You're right!! If he mentions to my friends that I'm nuts and it gets back to me, I'll mention to them that HE'S a pervert and he made me nuts! Thank you all so much, I've been stressing over this for a month and you awesome people have my l'il butt straightened out in 10 minutes!!!
FrustratedStandards Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 First of all, no man is out of your league. Don't even think that. Second, you're not a silly b*tch. You're putting yourself down so much and i'm thinking that's probably why you think you're not good enough and men don't want you. Just reply back with "oops well i just made a fool of myself how are you!"
Feelin Frisky Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Oh wow, so I was thinking right. Thank you so much. I feel so much better. I really did feel like a psycho. Why did he pretend he didn't know what I was talking about? Does this gorgeous pervert actually have shame? No, you were jumping to negative conclusions and running with them and that's why you're feeling like you are. If you didn't have a camera, then you should just say so. If you did but didn't w3ant to be seen you could politely evade. Or, if you aren't embarrassed about your face you could have cammmed with him but tell him that's as far as you go. But instead you went ballistic and you've been stuck realizing that since. I cammed with FL and all we did was marvel at the privilege of seeing each other smile. 2
PrincessPeach Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 I wouldn't bother bringing it up at all. I don't really see the point in that. If you felt that you overreacted and he forgot, why would you want to try to remind him of that? If he brings it up you can apologize if that's what you want to do; otherwise, forget about it. It's in the past. Also I'd like to mention that video chatting isn't just for pervs. I prefer video chat to text chat when I can. It lessens the anonymity and feels less disconnected than just typing, whether it's someone you know or not. You get to see the person you are interacting with, I like it a lot better. Most guys don't get all pervy in my experience. There are some that do... but then you know.
ShannonMI Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 I'm an idiot. I'll be brief. I met this guy who is WAY out of my league, he's friends with my friend's boyfriend. We're friends on a social networking site. I know him a little, but not really at all. About a month ago I was feeling brave around 2 in the morning and he was the only one on my IM, so I whispered to him "Go to bed!" he said "LOL". We got to talking, he asked me to go to yahoo and talk to him, I was hoping he'd ask to call me. Well, we're having a nice chat about music and he starts asking if we can chat on cam. ON CAM??? wtf? I have some negative thoughts about those chicks who get on webcams with guys, I may be off but if memory serves there was only one thing a guy wanted you to do on cam, so I opened a can of bitch on him, started saying mean, bitchy things to everything he said and no, I don't own a webcam. I just logged out of yahoo without a word to him. In mid Feb, it was his birthday and I saw the notification so I shot him a Happy Birthday and got back a 'hey, thanks.' A couple of days ago I wrote him a note to tell him I was sorry about being such a bitch that night and that he really didn't deserve it cause he's not some creeper bothering every woman around and i DID talk to him first and it was bugging me that I was so rude. I got an answer right away that he had NO idea WHAT I was talking about. I get it, I have no chance with this guy, he's probably sickened by me, but he's a cool guy and we have the same friends and I will be seeing him tomorrow night. Is there anything I can do or say to make what I've done a little less humiliating? Is there anything I can do to make a friend out of this guy? Thanks. With love, Silly b*tch. Don't bring it up again. He doesn't remember it, so don't try to get him to remember something that you feel embarrassed about. It's pretty simple. Let it go and act like it didn't happen.
FitChick Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Ignore the whole episode. Otherwise it looks like you have nothing else going on in your life except thinking about this guy. When you see him be polite as you would to anyone else you didn't know very well. 2
PrincessPeach Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 In the not so long time this thread has been going you seem to be making mountains out of molehills. you have taken a small, non-recent incident and blown it way out of proportion in your own mind. None of what happened is that big of a deal. Thinking about whether you need to ignore him or not is ridiculous in my opinion. Treat him as you would have before all this happened, because in reality, nothing is really different compared to then. 2
kaylan Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 OP, web chat is pretty common nowadays. Its not simply for sex chats like it might of been in the earlier days of the internet. Plenty of people chat with oovoo and skype. Granted people do this with folks they know a little bit, but when I was in school it was quite common. Every freaking laptop had one and people would cam chat and take pics on those things for fun all the time. Since the dude didnt make a big deal over it, Im pretty sure he was just trying to get to know ya better and didnt think cam chatting would be a big deal. Although it is a bit of an odd request from someone you dont know well yet. 1
ShannonMI Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 In the not so long time this thread has been going you seem to be making mountains out of molehills. you have taken a small, non-recent incident and blown it way out of proportion in your own mind. None of what happened is that big of a deal. Thinking about whether you need to ignore him or not is ridiculous in my opinion. Treat him as you would have before all this happened, because in reality, nothing is really different compared to then. And jumping to the conclusion that the guy is a pervert just because he wanted to see you on a web cam is a little over the top too. Was the conversaton you were having with him going in that direction when he suggested the camera? If it was, then yeah hes a creeper. If not, you are freaking out for no reason. He may just have wanted to see you. Some people like face to face (or close to it) communication. Just let the whole incident go or you are going to look really desperate and draw more attention to yourself. 1
Nodezz Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 you were absolutely right about how you reacted to the webcam thingy i mean it is really known what webcam with boys mean , you were also right about how you reacted i would have done exactly the same , and since he didn't even remember what you were talking about it means that he doesn't care enough , so i guess ignore him and don't think about him he is not worth it that is only my opinion
kaylan Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 you were absolutely right about how you reacted to the webcam thingy i mean it is really known what webcam with boys mean , you were also right about how you reacted i would have done exactly the same , and since he didn't even remember what you were talking about it means that he doesn't care enough , so i guess ignore him and don't think about him he is not worth it that is only my opinion Gimme a freakin' break. Its 2012. Plenty of people webcam with friends nowadays. Oovoo and Skype are insanely popular....so webcams arent just used for sex crap like they were in the earlier days of the internet. And 3 conclusions can be drawn from how the guy reacted if he was in fact just trying to have a friendly cam session: 1. He doesnt really care about her mean reaction and didnt feel like rehashing it. He was brushing it off since they have mutual friends. 2. The event may have slipped his mind at the moment she brought it up again. Remember that he doesnt know this girl too well...so maybe he just couldnt recall events too quickly in regards to someone hes doesnt talk too much. I know sometimes I do this, but then Ill remember certain things after a couple minutes. Its very possible for this too happen with an acquaintance you hardly ever see or talk to. 3. He thinks shes weird and crazy and he just didnt feel like speaking about it. So he pretended like he had no idea what she was talking about.
mtber75 Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 What are you worried about? The dude did something you deemed inappropriate and then, to make it worse, forgot that he upset you. There's nothing here for you to be concerned about. It's his problem. I wouldn't give a second thought to what the weirdo might think of me or what he tells his friends. He's not worth your time or concern. I have to agree with ditzchic. The guy did something that was inappropriate to you and you don't need to apologize. He's playing it cool by pretending to not remember or he's just slow? Just play it cool yourself and simply greet him. DON'T apologize, he needs to do that first!
dispatch3d Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Not even sure how to react to this thread haha. If you like the guy then yeah go for him.
dasein Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Just avoid the guy going forward, your insecurities and suspicion where he is concerned makes for no future as even friends. Out of curiousity, what exactly makes you think he is out of your league?
The_Joker Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I'm sorry what? I don't exactly know where the conversation was headed, you say it was about music when he suggested to cam, and then you became a complete bitch to him? It sounds exactly what it sounds like, and it was completely unnecessary for you to be acting that way towards him. :S You didn't have a webcam, simple enough, just tell him you don't own one, no need to make things "awkward". Now, to when he replied... I am pretty sure that he actually had no idea what you were talking about......until of course you brought that up again! Now he remembers... but really it doesn't sound too big of a deal, so from now on, I would not mention it ever again. Even though he had done nothing wrong, and some would argue that what you did was a natural reaction to a request like that, you have "apologized", for it so that's done. Act like you normally would act with your friends, since you guys have mutual friends, and probably hang out occasionally, it will be fine. I seriously doubt he will bring that up again, because for whatever reason, I don't see that benefiting him in any way. So look past it and move on, as if it never happened.
Recommended Posts