bigalOC Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 I felt into trap of a very beautiful and exotic looking single mom. I met her through Facebook, she was sister of an old college buddy of mine who was a dentist so I figured she is also the same. As I was dating her, she told me that she was an ex Meth addict but it was all behind her. Then through a bunch of manipulations, she got me to marry her after a short period of time dating her. As time passed on, I started noticing really bad behavior of hers, and her kid and her parents as well. I learned that she and her mom do drugs and her mom is still an addict. She is not anymore although she takes all sort of anti depression and mood pills where it could still classify as she being an addict. After some time, I realized that she was still an addict when she was pregnant and her EX BF was also an addict. She also was a terrible mom therefore her kid had some serious emotional issues. He was 6 at the time. After doing some research, I realized that Ex addicts, specially the type of drug that she used for years (Meth), never recover and they get their brain rewired so they think entirely differently. This is why it was so hard for me me and her to connect in intellectual and emotional leve. Only after a few months, I called it quite and that marriage was over. Since then, I have been dealing with feelings of guilt because her son called me daddy and really loved me. But I really couldn't handle it. It was really over my head I had to save myself. But I am feeling really bad because she didn't do anything wrong to me neither did her son or her family, I just want to know, if I was wrong to end my marriage. I have personally never done any heavy drugs (only weed a few things) so dating an Ex Meth user they had behaviors that made it hard for me to digest. By the way, she seems to have moved on already. Anyway, I wanted to hear your thoughts if I was wrong to leave so quickly. Her son called me Daddy and I hurt him but I was thinking about my future and I didn't see much of future with her mainly because of her past and the way her kid was and raise and everything else on top of the fact that she didn't have money. Link to post Share on other sites
rickys Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 If she moved on completely then you must forget everything about past. You can give her another chance because every time separation is not a good idea. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 I don't think its a mistake to end a marriage that's not working, but you also need to take accountability for your choices too. You say that she "manipulated you" and "trapped you" - please! Have you no thoughts of your own, or logic to make your own decisions? Take accountability for your role in this too. But as for the guilt you're feeling, is there any way you can stay in the kid's life - kinda like a "big brother/little brother" relationship? - just to keep any eye on him and be there for him in a way. But if that's too painful and confusing for him, then obviously don't do it. Don't feel bad about leaving an unhealthy relationship. Learn from it and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 My skepticism is that as a first time poster to this site you make some references that deserve dispelled. 1: Meth users are without hope to heal and recover- UNTRUE 2: Your actions to remove yourself may have a short term relief, yet the long term affact on the child will need to be revisited. You in a sense owe this child a reason when he/she is old enough to understand the circumstances. 3: Welcome to the board. None of us here can say what is right for you in your decision....we can simply ask that you remain open to suggestions here and gain some support thru this action. Link to post Share on other sites
juliebean2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 I wouldn't hold it against you for wanting to leave your marriage. You are with a person who is not who she says she is. On the other hand, it sounds like she may have possibly been an ex addict and then started using again. I hope that you can find a way to work it out if she really gets help. However, if she is destroying your life you are not wrong in wanting to leave. Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Maybe you can adopt him? How long were you married and involved in his life? Link to post Share on other sites
boshemia Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Have you considered calling social services and reporting what you know? Perhaps the best thing you can do for the child is get their mother some real help? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts