para-noir Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 I met a guy on an online dating website who has now moved out of state, initially I assumed from his part it was going to be a hookup (soon after I discovered that had been his forte for the last 8 months). We texted almost all day everyday before (and after) we met, most of the conversations sexual but we connected as well. I ended up going to his place and he offered to let me stay the night, this became a weekly routine for a month and a half. The first day we met in person, he offered to fly me up there to visit him. Instead of just having sex most of the time, we actually spent some quality time together as we have a lot in common. I started to realise that hookups don't cook you dinner and breakfast, or handpick and buy flowers, introduce you to their friends, take you for walks on the beach, or tell you you're the only girl who's made him cry because he'd miss me. I acted as if I didn't want more out of it because of him moving and he sensed this and I got the impression he thinks it's me who doesn't want more. He has told me he liked me and on a few drunken occasions he told me he loved me (and once sober on our last couple of days together). Many times when he would get intoxicated he'd ask me to go with him, and I was willing but I never told him and was afraid to ask when he was sober. The week before he left I told him I wanted to go but he couldn't take me in as he'd be living with relatives until he saved up money for his own place in a couple months but he briefly mentioned me living with him later on. I still sense he's weary about it because he had a similar past experience with a girl he dated for a few years when moving out of state again and told me it changed his perception on love. I'm just really confused because I can tell he really likes me but since I explained my desire to move rather than how I actually felt about him, may I have confused him? I know had he stayed for a while longer, we would have ended up together. I can already tell that he'll hookup with other girls while I'd like to have my own freedom while we're apart but sometimes it eats at me but more worried his feelings will change or he'll find someone else between now and when I visit. I'm caught between wanting to break off contact if he doesn't completely reciprocate my feelings as I cannot go on with the possibility of him slowly losing touch and moving on, or if I express my feelings, he may feel the same, then I'm left with trying to convince him to take a chance on me by me moving and keeping him interested in the meantime. Also, moving there would also benefit me because of the cheaper cost of living and a change from the rut I've been living in for years, so even if it doesn't work out I wouldn't regret it, especially if I take a chance on something I really want.
FitChick Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Also, moving there would also benefit me because of the cheaper cost of living and a change from the rut I've been living in for years, so even if it doesn't work out I wouldn't regret it, especially if I take a chance on something I really want. That is your answer. 1
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