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How does one not lose themselves in a relationship


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Posted

As a follow-up to this thread:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/316086-12-months-post-seperation-divorced-now-dating-having-odd-emotions

 

I started thinking maybe I am afraid of losing myself in a relationship.

 

The good news for me is I recognize this and I am thinking about it. I will not jump both feet into a relationship.

 

The bad news though may be that I am not allowing myself to experience a relationship, to feel and be loved again. Make sense?

 

So how does one balance this? I love my new found independence, being alone, living "my life", meeting new people, making new friends, trying new things; though I have a desire to share my life with someone again.

 

 

Thanks

Posted

If you know who you are before getting into a relationship, you will know if you are losing yourself. If you see it, then you steady your feet and make sure you foster your own growth while still in the relationship.

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Posted

I used to feel like I "lost" myself sometimes in relationships when I was younger, but it was mainly because I didn't KNOW myself yet. Once you know yourself, as long as you prioritize being yourself and only staying in a relationship if you can truly thrive there, I don't think you will lose yourself.

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Posted

Thanks...in my current situation I felt it real quick so I put on the brakes. I was cancelling on friends, not doing things to do things with her...

 

I told her how I was feeling, that I needed to continue to do whay I like, by myself. So, I think I am on the right track. She says she gets it..not sure she does..we will see.

 

I feel selfish at times and even a bit controlling when doing telling her "how I am" and how she is pushing me away with being "how she is" and seeing her adjusting.

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