missyme04 Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Hi guys, I wanted to try something new and try "ONLINE DATING". Me and my bf broke up last 4 months ago and my friend told me to try this but I'm not sure what to expect and wondered what kind of advice people might be able to offer. Guyz, pls help me. Will i try it or not? I would really appreciate your advice. THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH
Andy_K Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Here's how it works for a girl: If you're hot, you'll be inundated with messages, but the vast majority of them will be guys who just want to bang you. If you're good at figuring out a guy's intentions it will work for you very well. If you are naive, gullible, or a poor judge of character you'll be messed around big time. If you're not very attractive, you won't get anywhere near as many messages, and all of them will be guys who just want to bang you. 3
SCandy Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 And if you are a guy, you will get a message from a fat girl ones a month...who would want to bang you. 4
sigurpol Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Here's how it works for a girl: If you're hot, you'll be inundated with messages, but the vast majority of them will be guys who just want to bang you. If you're good at figuring out a guy's intentions it will work for you very well. If you are naive, gullible, or a poor judge of character you'll be messed around big time. If you're not very attractive, you won't get anywhere near as many messages, and all of them will be guys who just want to bang you. Pretty much this. The place can be a slam dunk or an airball.
Author missyme04 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 Here's how it works for a girl: If you're hot, you'll be inundated with messages, but the vast majority of them will be guys who just want to bang you. If you're good at figuring out a guy's intentions it will work for you very well. If you are naive, gullible, or a poor judge of character you'll be messed around big time. If you're not very attractive, you won't get anywhere near as many messages, and all of them will be guys who just want to bang you. Hi Andy, thank you so much for your reply. well, I'm a bit scared coz this would be my first time if I'm going to try it. But, based on my friend's relationship they started with online dating and they're on their 4 years last month. I was soooooo IMPRESSED! Have you tried online dating before Andy?
Author missyme04 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Posted March 5, 2012 And if you are a guy, you will get a message from a fat girl ones a month...who would want to bang you. Hi SCandy LOL! :laugh: Laughing here. hahahaha. Ahmmmm. I just wanted to say that I'm not a fat girl. hehe. But if I am, maybe I'll send a guy messages not only once a month, I'll do it everyday just to get attention. HAHAHAHAHA. thanks for your. Nice one!
volkl1996 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I have found online dating helps with the "getting to know you" and the anxiety and nerves one can have on a first date. I have also found one can create an image of what someone is in their head and you are usually disappointed when you meet them. So try not to do that. My advise, if there is an attraction, exchange a few very brief emails, no texting back and forth, then meet for coffee. Keep it to an hour, as it gives you an out if it's not for you. If it is for you, still keep it at an hour and plan your next date after 1 - 2 days. 1
olivec Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Hi guys, I wanted to try something new and try "ONLINE DATING". Me and my bf broke up last 4 months ago and my friend told me to try this but I'm not sure what to expect and wondered what kind of advice people might be able to offer. Guyz, pls help me. Will i try it or not? I would really appreciate your advice. THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH I'm gunna be honest online dating can be 50/50 at best. Like others have said online dating is very shallow based only on looks for the most part. I'm not gunna say its all bad as I did it a few times and met a few really nice girls on their. However my last gf I unfortunately met online and it ended very badly for me and left a sour taste in my mouth. Afterthat I promissed myself I wouldn"t do it again as I felt it just wasn"t for me. However it may work for you. Just be careful who you talk to and really make sure the person your talking to is genuine which obviuosly takes time. 1
Sith Apprentice Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 If you're a woman you probably won't need much advice. The ratio is so skewed against men that it's a virtual buyer's market for women. What sites are you thinking about using? I've been on POF, match, and Eharmony. 2
FitChick Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 I have also found one can create an image of what someone is in their head and you are usually disappointed when you meet them. Unless that person has CURRENT, CLEAR photos -- headshot and full length. 1
Sith Apprentice Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 And if you are a guy, you will get a message from a fat girl ones a month...who would want to bang you. I haven't laughed this hard in months! A Sad, but true post! 2
volkl1996 Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Unless that person has CURRENT, CLEAR photos -- headshot and full length. Yes! Some have photos that are 5+ years old, no body photos. I typically would not meet them without a current, like take a picture today and email it to me, photo. I never knew "Athletic and Toned" meant "I am really fat" ;-)
Author missyme04 Posted March 6, 2012 Author Posted March 6, 2012 Don't forget to send us a link to your profile. I havent posted my pic yet. I guess I have to so you can see my face. Will it be ok if you tell me if I'm pretty or not? LOL! I appreciate an honest answer. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Author missyme04 Posted March 6, 2012 Author Posted March 6, 2012 I have found online dating helps with the "getting to know you" and the anxiety and nerves one can have on a first date. I have also found one can create an image of what someone is in their head and you are usually disappointed when you meet them. So try not to do that. My advise, if there is an attraction, exchange a few very brief emails, no texting back and forth, then meet for coffee. Keep it to an hour, as it gives you an out if it's not for you. If it is for you, still keep it at an hour and plan your next date after 1 - 2 days. WOW! I love this. thank you so much for your advice
Author missyme04 Posted March 6, 2012 Author Posted March 6, 2012 I'm gunna be honest online dating can be 50/50 at best. Like others have said online dating is very shallow based only on looks for the most part. I'm not gunna say its all bad as I did it a few times and met a few really nice girls on their. However my last gf I unfortunately met online and it ended very badly for me and left a sour taste in my mouth. Afterthat I promissed myself I wouldn"t do it again as I felt it just wasn"t for me. However it may work for you. Just be careful who you talk to and really make sure the person your talking to is genuine which obviuosly takes time. I believe you It's really hard to find true love, and online dating is one of them. I think I'll give it a try, maybe it works for me *fingers crossed* hehehe. Promise, i'll be careful and check if the guy I'm dating with is serious about me. thanks for sharing your story too.
Andy_K Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 Hi Andy, thank you so much for your reply. well, I'm a bit scared coz this would be my first time if I'm going to try it. But, based on my friend's relationship they started with online dating and they're on their 4 years last month. I was soooooo IMPRESSED! Have you tried online dating before Andy? I've done it a lot. Pretty much whenever I've been single in the last 6 or 7 years. I've probably met dozens of girls from the internet by now, and I've chatted with most of them about their experiences with online dating. You can't talk to anyone these days without them knowing someone or having a close friend who found their partner online. It absolutely does work for certain types of people. If you find it difficult to judge guys intentions, one of the best things you can do is get a male friend - one with no romantic interest in you, like a friend's bf or something - to have a look at the profile (maybe messages too) of any guy you're thinking about meeting. Guys are generally WAY better at spotting jerks than girls are, so if you do find yourself struggling to figure out who you should or shouldn't meet, this might help. 1
Author missyme04 Posted March 6, 2012 Author Posted March 6, 2012 If you're a woman you probably won't need much advice. The ratio is so skewed against men that it's a virtual buyer's market for women. What sites are you thinking about using? I've been on POF, match, and Eharmony. I still dont know what sites to choose from. Ahmmm. what do you think is the best? please let me know
volkl1996 Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 Not to sound egotistical but I have had many girls tell me they sent me an email on my pictures alone. "You have a great smile", "You are tall", "You are handsome". When i ask them a detail that's in my profile they have no idea. So, it goes both ways on the photos. 1
Andy_K Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 Not to sound egotistical but I have had many girls tell me they sent me an email on my pictures alone. "You have a great smile", "You are tall", "You are handsome". When i ask them a detail that's in my profile they have no idea. So, it goes both ways on the photos. Care to show us your pics?
curlygirl40 Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 Hi Missy Curious what your age range is?? I'm in my 40's and you definitely seem younger so I'm sure our experiences will vary but I'm going to give you some advice on OLD, something I've been doing on and off for 1.5 years. Pictures: Make sure they are current!! No duckface, taken from a weird angle, etc. Have at least one full body shot but IMO DO NOT show any or much cleavage, no bathingsuit shots, etc. Just have one picture that shows a good representation of your body type. Don't post pictures of you with other guys. The rest of your pics can just be headshots but only put a few. Guys don't need to see 10 headshots of you in separate outfits. When you do start e-mailing with someone that you have some interest in, just share a handful of e-mails until you're comfortable with him (no one is looking for a pen pal here). Then have at least one phone conversation with him. A phone conversation tells you a lot about a person!! Then if you want to meet up, make plans to do that. Something short and sweet though just to see if you like each other. Do not text like school girls until the date, like someone else said, it gives you this strange 'I know this person, we're really connecting' when in person that might not be the case. Then after the first date if you're not interested it leaves this strange void, this 'how do I get myself out of this texting relationship we have going on here' feeling. DO NOT. I repeat DO NOT meet him at his place or at your place for the first date (and probably more than that but you get my meaning). Do not even think for a second that you're just going to go to his place and 'watch a movie and have pizza' or just cuddle. BS. Don't put yourself in that position. The goal of that first meeting is just to see if you like this person enough to get to know him better. Then you can plan a second date after that. Leave him wanting more if you really like him don't stay out until 3 a.m. There are a lot of unrefined people in the world. You'll run into a lot of them OLD. IMO you need to learn early to weed them out. The guys only looking for sex who don't want to really take the time to get to know you. They are pretty transparent once you know what to look for. Just learn how to say 'thanks buddy, but I am ALL SET'. In my 40's I see it a lot. The guy wants to take you out for coffee for a quick 'get to know you meeting' and then the second date they try to get you to his place. Homey don't play that. Know your boundaries, know what you're looking for and don't comprimise your dignity because you meet a guy who you're crazy about. Keep your head on your shoulders. Good luck!! 1
curlygirl40 Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 (edited) I still dont know what sites to choose from. Ahmmm. what do you think is the best? please let me know Oh I forgot to answer this. This is just my experience in my area. Others may chime in and have a different opinion. I would say Match is good. Eharmony I think is geared more towards an older demographic? 40's?? Not sure. Just beware if you use a free site, you will get a lot more riff raff to weed through. You get what you pay for. In my experience the guys on Match seem to be more polite and looking more for a relationship. They are paying to be on the site (if they have the subscription which they will need to e-mail) so they are more serious about it. I have never done Plenty of Fish but yet I haven't heard much good about it. I am currently on OKCupid and since it is a free site you do get a lot of garbage e-mails. The 'hey baby, you are hawt!!' type of e-mails. Thanks buddy, move along. I have met a few really nice guys on OKCupid though. They are there you just might need to look harder and ignore the cat calling. Good luck!! Edited March 6, 2012 by curlygirl40 fix poor grammar. lol
FitChick Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 Don't join more than one site at a time. Many share databases so you would be wasting your money. If you are not sure, look at the About Us or Contact Us link to see the name of the head company. For example, Yahoo Personals and Match.com and Dating Direct (UK) are the same. That's why you will often see more than one profile of the same person on the same website. They think they are on different ones. 1
Emilia Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 Women tend to be for the most part, pretty shallow creatures... I thought now that you supposedly have a girlfriend, you were cured of your misoginy. Or is she not pretty enough? I hope you are not judging her based on her looks
Sith Apprentice Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 I still dont know what sites to choose from. Ahmmm. what do you think is the best? please let me know This is a guys point of view on them. Plenty of Fish was the worst in terms of quality of female members. It's a free site so you get what you pay for. Eharmony was the best in terms of quality of the women on it. Also, Eharmony matches you with other members based on your personality profile and preferences as opposed to the meat market scrolling catalog of POF and Match. The downside is that Eharmony is expensive, but the subscription fee weeds out many of the losers. OkCupid- Similar to Eharmony in that they match you with other members, but a free site. A step above POF, but quality of members not as good as Eharmony. 1
SJC2008 Posted March 6, 2012 Posted March 6, 2012 @missyme04: The best advice I can give you is that it is a dating site and take it for that. A place to get dates! Some women (I'm not bashing) want "deep" emails and want to be swept off their feet before meeting someone?? they even say no "bulk" or "copy and paste" messages in their profiles. If a guy emails you, you read his profile and he seems like he has a good head on his shoulders, and you are attracted to him enough, there should be nothing wrong with a " Hi I'm x, you seem like an interesting person and I would like to get to know you, check out my profile and if you would like to talk send me a hey and I'll message you. Take care, x" message from him. It's an ice breaker, shows interest and puts no pressure on you at all. I have had more success with those messages to woman than "personalized" ones. The point is to get to a date, not get to know eachother through email, find out if you like him on the date! As far as sites don't do POF, use OKC, and MATCH if you are willing to pay.
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