loves Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 (edited) My boyfriend and i have been together for a year and a half now.. Were both 22 years old but very mature for our age, when we met he was the party type and i was more stay at home study watch movies kind of girl.. In the beginning things were rocky but he did a complete 180 and changed himself.. Things couldn't be any better now but there's one catch.. IM A VIRGIN and my boyfriend knows that, when i ask him how many girls he's been with he turns it into an argument.. It bothers him if i think differently about him and he always thinks i'm going to leave him, hes very insecure even though hes intelligent, goodlooking, family orientated, funny and basically has it all.. my question is .. WHY WONT HE TELL ME HOW MANY WOMEN HE'S BEEN WITH WITHOUT TRYING TO ARGUE ABOUT IT?! has it really been that many?? Also, when i ask him all he continues saying is "you know" when really i don't? He's told me two different numbers before.. I know it doesn't matter to some people but me being such a pure character, it bothers me to know that he's maybe experience with ALOT of females in the past.. Edited March 2, 2012 by loves
Imageiko Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Why do you insist in asking him about something that's not really your business. Asking if he's always practiced safe sex or has been tested is completely reasonable but pressing this issue smells of insecurity and immaturity. 1
FitChick Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Why ask for trouble? All you should care about is that he doesn't sleep with anyone else after he's slept with you. 1
InJest Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 If he's got it all like you say he has, he's probably been with 10-15 girls by the age of 21, if not then definitely more than that. Just think about how attracted to him you are...Other girls would probably be that attracted to him too. You've been together a year and a half? You probably should sleep with him sooner, rather than later.
shorty7 Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 The fact that you drill how many women he's been with tells him that you care. Maybe he believes if you truly love him then it really doesn't matter who he slept with? I'll keep it simple: the person I'm in a relationship for 8 years knows I've been with a lot of people, but doesn't really care to know how many, or the exact details of each encounter or ONS. The person whom I dated in the past that did make a big deal out of it, our relationship didn't last and ended horribly. question is, OP, why does it matter to you how many times he's slept with how many girls? If he's clean and he's committed to you, why should any of his past matter about the PRESENT relationship you have with him?
veggirl Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 OP, stop asking! Who cares?! Why do you need to know so badly? He's not telling you because you seem obsessed with knowing and even when you know, you won't be satisfied with the answer! You'll want to know who, how many times with each, how long did he know them, so on and so forth. It doesn't end with just "how many?" esp when you are still a virgin.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Loves youre only asking him to satisfy your curiosity of why he wont tell you, you dont care about the real number. THAT is immature, and youre not as mature as you think you are. Youre a typical 22 year old. he probably thinks that youre asking him to to use it against him. If hes a good guy, and treats you right, the number doesnt matter, and its none of your business, especially if he doesnt have any STD. If you have a self esteem issue, because you think you cant measure up to his other sex partners, then you have to straighten that out with yourself, that has nothing to do with him.
maysj18 Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 I completely disagree with everyone else. It is your business if you value sexual morality like i feel you do. I'm 21 and still a virgin. If I'm serious about someone, I will ask their number because I want a man with morals, especially since that guy could end up being my first. I have never had someone not tell me, but I usually find out early so there's no pressure. It doesn't matter how well a guy treats me, I do not want to be with a man who has had a lot of ONS or is a scumbag when single. I just don't want that in a partner; however, I am well aware people can change, so it isn't an automatic deal breaker. I just don't want someone who, if we weren't dating, would be going to town on everything that walks. Someone with a hefty sexual past usually doesn't have the best moral compass (unless they've matured), so yeah I think the OP has a right to know. I'm not sure why he won't tell you, OP. Have you mentioned to him that a large number is a turn off for you?
InJest Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Mays, what does it matter if you're not even going to have sex with him anyway? Both of you girls are retarded.
Author loves Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 Mays, what does it matter if you're not even going to have sex with him anyway? Both of you girls are retarded. Relationships arent based on sex so therefore your retarded and my boyfriend doesnt push me on having sex with him.. He wants to wait until were married.. Now but out if you have nothing nice to say, your most likely not one of the best to give advice with that mentality
Author loves Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 Mays, what does it matter if you're not even going to have sex with him anyway? Both of you girls are retarded. I completely disagree with everyone else. It is your business if you value sexual morality like i feel you do. I'm 21 and still a virgin. If I'm serious about someone, I will ask their number because I want a man with morals, especially since that guy could end up being my first. I have never had someone not tell me, but I usually find out early so there's no pressure. It doesn't matter how well a guy treats me, I do not want to be with a man who has had a lot of ONS or is a scumbag when single. I just don't want that in a partner; however, I am well aware people can change, so it isn't an automatic deal breaker. I just don't want someone who, if we weren't dating, would be going to town on everything that walks. Someone with a hefty sexual past usually doesn't have the best moral compass (unless they've matured), so yeah I think the OP has a right to know. I'm not sure why he won't tell you, OP. Have you mentioned to him that a large number is a turn off for you? I totally agree with you.. I guess with being a virgin you think differently them others.. I know hes done a lot of messed up things in the past but your right people change.. I think these people have the wrong idea completely.. I told him i wouldnt be turned off i just want him to be honest and i wont care.. He had morals and a good family just like me but i guess its different for girls lol hey is there anyway to private message you on here?
Author loves Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 The fact that you drill how many women he's been with tells him that you care. Maybe he believes if you truly love him then it really doesn't matter who he slept with? I'll keep it simple: the person I'm in a relationship for 8 years knows I've been with a lot of people, but doesn't really care to know how many, or the exact details of each encounter or ONS. The person whom I dated in the past that did make a big deal out of it, our relationship didn't last and ended horribly. question is, OP, why does it matter to you how many times he's slept with how many girls? If he's clean and he's committed to you, why should any of his past matter about the PRESENT relationship you have with him? I know this relationship is going to go far but i feel since hes going to be my first i just want to do and experience something sexually that he never had done before.. Its not a big deal, i was just curious about it
Andy_K Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 it bothers me to know that he's maybe experience with ALOT of females in the past.. Well, it bothers me when people write 'a lot' as one word, but hey, if I can live with that then you can live with this too
SCandy Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 I think OP is an immature little girl who is border line retarded....she wants to experience what HE never experienced before sexually?...how about anal sex! That should get you started and you will still be a virgin!
Imageiko Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 It doesn't matter how well a guy treats me, I do not want to be with a man who has had a lot of ONS or is a scumbag when single. Why does having a consensual one night stand automatically make someone a scumbag?
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