krissy1989f Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 I love this sight because of peoples honesty. Let me just start off by saying I am a 22 year old girl, I am honest loyal and compassionate. I am a nurse and am very independent in my life. From August-January I was hanging out with a guy, we would hook up and it did seem we really liked eachother. It did bother me though because he would go days without talking to me but when we did hang out it seemed really good. Feelings seemed to be there. It seemed crazy though that after 6 months it was going nowhere. So on new years eve I went out without him since he didnt even attempt to see me and i ended up hooking up with someone else. I felt awful and the guy was not even my type. I ended up confessing about what i did when i went over to his house the next day even though we werent in a committed relationship. But yes, i did want something serious with him. Before i confessed i asked him if it was going anywhere and he said he had no time for a girlfriend but really liked me. After i confessed he said there might of been potential but not anymore. Ugh. So i tried to move along after apologizing a million times and ended up hooking up with someone else (i think out of loneliness) and ended up not being interested in that guy probably cuz it went SO gast...but didnt tell him about that guy...(should i?) I feel like it'd make me look bad since thats 2 guys in one month besides him..but **** happens i guess. Anyways. Recently he contacted me and wants to hang out and I have moved an hour away and he is willing to drive to see me. Does this mean he forgives me? Should I tell him about the second guy? I feel like crap because none of this is like me... I guess I was just lost....I need advice.... what should I do/say when we hang out again?
Philosoraptor Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 From his response I would tell you to date adults. It doesn't seem like you owed him anything since not only were you not in a relationship but he had no want for one anyways. Did you have an agreement that you would only be seeing him?
Author krissy1989f Posted March 1, 2012 Author Posted March 1, 2012 No it was never said. The only thing was that it's ok that we hook up as long as we aren't hooking up with others... But deep down I deserved more and I know that.
Philosoraptor Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 No it was never said. The only thing was that it's ok that we hook up as long as we aren't hooking up with others... But deep down I deserved more and I know that. So there was an understanding that your FWB situation would be exclusive?
Author krissy1989f Posted March 1, 2012 Author Posted March 1, 2012 In a nutshell yes. But we never even labele it friends with benefits. I just remember talking one time and he said its ok hookong up as long as we aren't with others. But he said it was cheating. So that's beyond the point.
Philosoraptor Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 Well then you violated the rules set on whatever you want to call your interactions with him. Either way, move on and find someone who can give you what you want.
Author krissy1989f Posted March 1, 2012 Author Posted March 1, 2012 Honestly, don't feel like I violated because it was not respectful to me. Do u think he will want a relationship ever or not? Obviously if he got mad he cared.
Philosoraptor Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 Honestly, don't feel like I violated because it was not respectful to me. Do u think he will want a relationship ever or not? Obviously if he got mad he cared. Well if the rule was you don't step outside, and you did... then you did violate them. But why would you want to be with someone who didn't respect you? He got all of the perks of a relationship without having to make any sort of commitment.
Author krissy1989f Posted March 1, 2012 Author Posted March 1, 2012 Because I honestly felt like it was going somewhere, we have hung out since and everything seems good..idk what to say or do next time we hang out and I don't know if I should tell him about the second guy since that was after all of this.
Philosoraptor Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 If it's gone nowhere in 6 months then odds are he doesn't see you as relationship material. Which is probably why he could write you off so easily.
Author krissy1989f Posted March 1, 2012 Author Posted March 1, 2012 He wrote me off cuz he was mad. But now he is asking to see me. Lol thank u for ur thoughts though.
Philosoraptor Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 He wrote me off cuz he was mad. But now he is asking to see me. Lol thank u for ur thoughts though. Someone who is mature and truly cares for you will not write you off because they are mad. He had a right to be mad as the rules of your interactions was broken. You seem to have this guy upon a pedestal instead of looking at this realistically.
Author krissy1989f Posted March 1, 2012 Author Posted March 1, 2012 Yes I did violate the rules but we weren't in a relationship, but I am willing to be in a relationship. Im hoping I'll figure out what to say when we hang out.. Cuz him driving an hour to see me makes me think he is rethinking things
Philosoraptor Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 (edited) Yes I did violate the rules but we weren't in a relationship, but I am willing to be in a relationship. Im hoping I'll figure out what to say when we hang out.. Cuz him driving an hour to see me makes me think he is rethinking things He has made it clear that he does not want to be in a relationship. He will continue to have the benefits of a relationship without having to make the commitment. You clearly want more and he doesn't, so why should you settle for less? This will continue to happen until you stand up for yourself. Until then, I hope the sex is good enough anyways. Edited March 1, 2012 by Philosoraptor
Recommended Posts