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I would do anything to get over it

Sophie99

By Sophie99
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Sophie99 Established Member

Sophie99

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My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me about a month and a half ago.

 

He seems to be fine and told me he's not 'fixated' on it any more. He hangs out with other girls.

Where as I am still in pieces, I'm heartbroken

 

I would do anything to be in the place that he is now and move on, I feel trapped in sadness.

 

I don't know how people cope, I don't think I can handle being in so much pain all the time anymore :sick:

 

I desperately need tips and advise, he was my first love and this is my first breakup.

 

Thanks

goohoo Member

goohoo

Posted
Posted

I'm so sorry to hear about your recent breakup and I just want you to know that there are plenty of us (including me) out there who are going through the same thing right now. You are not alone. Browse this forum or other forums, give advice to others (it's actually very calming and satisfying) and try to do things to relax yourself and take your mind off of the situation (easier said than done I know). You may not fully heal, but in time you will come to accept everything. Keep your head up, maintain your health and just remember, it's not the end of the world! :)

coltsfan1 Established Member

coltsfan1

Posted
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The first thing you should try is not speaking to him, don't have to ignore him but try and keep it brief. Then set two or three short term goals that are attainable once you achieve them rinse and repeat. Before you know it you will have six months under your belt and some things to be proud of and brag about.

 

We all have been where you are, I performed with GREAT success a total self implosion prior to pulling myself together. I haven't spoke to my ex in 18 months, but I am in the best place of my life. I am still single but I am moving ahead as I hope she is as well.

darkmoon Established Member

darkmoon

Posted
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go on a holiday i forgot mine once i saw how handsome other men are not to say you have to go with them but you need a change of scene specially as you know he's elsewhere so do not look in that direction anymore instead look ahead to summer xx

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Sophie99 Established Member

Sophie99

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The first thing you should try is not speaking to him, don't have to ignore him but try and keep it brief. Then set two or three short term goals that are attainable once you achieve them rinse and repeat. Before you know it you will have six months under your belt and some things to be proud of and brag about.

 

We all have been where you are, I performed with GREAT success a total self implosion prior to pulling myself together. I haven't spoke to my ex in 18 months, but I am in the best place of my life. I am still single but I am moving ahead as I hope she is as well.

 

Thanks for your advice :) Do you mean goals just for me, or about getting over it? Or is either ok? :)

 

I'm trying to limit contact as much as I can, but since we have lots of classed together I have to see him pretty much every week day which sucks :/

Mack05 Established Member

Mack05

Posted
Posted (edited)

I am in the same boat. My ex has moved on with her life. Thinks basically I am trash. I have so many regrets. She has no great memories of me. Never saw me at my best. That kills me. I will forgive myself, it will just take time. For me its about staying positive Sophie. Keep working out and thinking in a positive frame of mind. When negative thoughts come in to my mind I kick them out.

 

While I have so much to ask her/say to her, I just force myself into acceptance that I am not what she is looking for in a partner. I do believe longterm its her loss, but its only her loss if I keep working on myself and making improvements. I would have loved her till the very end, if she was just willing to work through things with me. Like you, I would anything to fast forward from the pain. I'm sick and tired of feeling sad, so I am beyond determined to find happiness and will not post here and try help people until I am genuinely happy. Need to backup my words now.

 

Just have to keep fighting Sophie. Day by day just try stay positive. Do something positive everyday. Even if it's small. Eventually the pain becomes less and less. I think this is the longest toughest breakup. These are huge tests of character. Just have to face it head on and keep moving forward, no matter how tough it gets.

 

I wish...There is so much things I wish for when it comes to my ex..Those wishes won't be granted, but that just means I have to create new wishes and dreams..I'm scared that I won't meet someone like my ex. Her beauty was spellbinding. She has a kind heart too. Class, grace, elegance, you name it. I just have to hope the hard work I am doing now will one day be rewarded. If I ever love again I will get it right..You will too Sophie..Just try stay positive and focus solely on yourself..

Edited by Mack05
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coltsfan1 Established Member

coltsfan1

Posted
Posted
Thanks for your advice Do you mean goals just for me, or about getting over it? Or is either ok?

 

I'm trying to limit contact as much as I can, but since we have lots of classed together I have to see him pretty much every week day which sucks :/

 

I mean any goals that help you!! May it be to move past your ex or just bettering yourself in general.

 

For me when my ex first left me I was bound and determined to prove I was an awesome guy. That I could be successful with friends and in my career, but after some TRULY bad decisions I let her and our mutual friends go. I had to move past both in order for me to heal and move forward. Fast forward 18 months and I have a great job in I.S. at the largest healthcare provider in the state, I have 2 certs in the field I work in, I am closing on a 2300 sq.ft house next month, about to buy a new Harley, and have new friends.

 

I now know that the fire was set by her leaving but stays lit by each goal I accomplish. I also have realized that if she hadn't left I wouldn't have grown as much as I had, so for that I really must thank her. I really struggled with it for many months, till I made the decision that no matter what she couldn't come back. Once I felt that the choice was mine to make I felt better.

 

Ultimately it is just time and your personality that determines the length of time to heal from a previous love. But its just my two cents.....

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olivec Established Member

olivec

Posted
Posted
My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me about a month and a half ago.

 

He seems to be fine and told me he's not 'fixated' on it any more. He hangs out with other girls.

Where as I am still in pieces, I'm heartbroken

 

I would do anything to be in the place that he is now and move on, I feel trapped in sadness.

 

I don't know how people cope, I don't think I can handle being in so much pain all the time anymore :sick:

 

I desperately need tips and advise, he was my first love and this is my first breakup.

 

Thanks

 

Hi Sophie,

 

First of all I think your very brave for sharing what happend to you. Its gunna take time as your still going through the grieving process as the end of a longterm relationship can be as dramatic as a death in the family. However thats where your friends and family come into focus as they will be there for you. Start trying to get out of the house and go out with friends even if its just to the local mall or grocery store as it'll help to keep your mind off things. Also take the time and focus on activities you really enjoy either it be by yourself or with your friends. The thing with a breakup theres no real timetable of when your gunna feel better as its a gradual transition. I do promise though as others on this site will agree it does get better over time and you will heal from this.

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