Author FrustratedStandards Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 Go and read a British website and you will see it is not just a problem here. The problem is that it turned into a manhating movement and men have gotten sick of being told how useless we are and how much women don't need us. Most rational people have no issue with mutual respect and equality between the genders but when men here how unneeded and unwanted we are constantly it doesn't inspire chivalrous feelings. Just because a woman is successful and can offer herself everything doesn't mean she doesn't want a man. It gets very, very lonely. Being picky doesn't help, but if a man was to step up his game (approach, be more confident, be more chivalrous), trust me he would get girls he never thought he could. Women suck. They've ruined everything. 1
Author FrustratedStandards Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 And how many times does a man do something so trivial like hold a door and girls across the room gush at it? You don't see it, but I do. If a man buys a woman a drink, women will notice. And they will automatically gain a certain respect for him, because he knows how to make a woman feel like a lady. And that's very important. It's hard to feel lady like when you sit alone all night, buy your own drinks till you're broke and then have to hail a cab with your last dollars to get as close to home because no man will offer you a ride. ALL in heels and a dress. Definitely doesn't feel like you're a lady. More like an ugly, unwanted woman who wasted a night. 1
Woggle Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Just because a woman is successful and can offer herself everything doesn't mean she doesn't want a man. It gets very, very lonely. Being picky doesn't help, but if a man was to step up his game (approach, be more confident, be more chivalrous), trust me he would get girls he never thought he could. Women suck. They've ruined everything. Of course a woman can be successful and still like men and have happy relationships but when some act like men are nothing more than useless sperm donors who serve no other purpose it doesn't make us want to be gentlemen.
mesmerized Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Go and read a British website and you will see it is not just a problem here. The problem is that it turned into a manhating movement and men have gotten sick of being told how useless we are and how much women don't need us. Most rational people have no issue with mutual respect and equality between the genders but when men here how unneeded and unwanted we are constantly it doesn't inspire chivalrous feelings. Honestly, I often hear the opposite. I hear from men "I don't want or need a girlfriend, I just want to have fun" waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I hear it from women. Heck, I always see women running after men for relationships not the opposite. I'm not quite sure what you are talking about.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Honestly, I often hear the opposite. I hear from men "I don't want or need a girlfriend, I just want to have fun" waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I hear it from women. Heck, I always see women running after men for relationships not the opposite. I'm not quite sure what you are talking about. Actually I see more women my age looking for casual flings than relationships. Mention wanting a relationship to a girl and she'll run the other way as fast as she can.
Author FrustratedStandards Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 Of course a woman can be successful and still like men and have happy relationships but when some act like men are nothing more than useless sperm donors who serve no other purpose it doesn't make us want to be gentlemen. Well f*ck all those women who act like that, and find yourself a smart one who knows how to appreciate a man. That's the kind of women you would want anyways. You miss out more by not being an gentleman than by being one. And its not even about the women. Its about yourself. Don't you want to be seen as a gentleman? Women shouldn't determine how you act. Wouldn't you rather a woman say "he's a real gentleman but I don't want a man" than a woman to say "meh he's nothing special anyway".
Woggle Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Honestly, I often hear the opposite. I hear from men "I don't want or need a girlfriend, I just want to have fun" waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I hear it from women. Heck, I always see women running after men for relationships not the opposite. I'm not quite sure what you are talking about. In many cases it is the opposite but I do see some guys my age and younger who think that trying to make a woman happy just is not worth the drama and frustration.
Oxy Moronovich Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 You're missing the point. The point is, location does make a difference. I truly find it harder to Canada to meet people than I did elsewhere. But being in countries where men approach a lot also has its own disadvantages because you may get approached by men you don't like very often. I understand. But I'm just pointing out it's idiotic to compare the U.S. and Canada with an immensely diverse continent like Europe. I could make a statement like, "European women are better in bed than North American women." But people would roll their eyes on how idiotic that sounds.
Author FrustratedStandards Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 I understand. But I'm just pointing out it's idiotic to compare the U.S. and Canada with an immensely diverse continent like Europe. I could make a statement like, "European women are better in bed than North American women." But people would roll their eyes on how idiotic that sounds. Actually that doesn't sound idiotic at all. I hear it all the time too. I hear it about the men as well. Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. They don't apply to EVERYONE, but they still exist for a reason.
Oxy Moronovich Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Honestly, I often hear the opposite. I hear from men "I don't want or need a girlfriend, I just want to have fun" waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I hear it from women. Heck, I always see women running after men for relationships not the opposite. I'm not quite sure what you are talking about. Yes, and I hear, "I don't need a man. I'm independent" waaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I hear men say, "I don't need a woman. I'm independent." What's yer point?
Woggle Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Well f*ck all those women who act like that, and find yourself a smart one who knows how to appreciate a man. That's the kind of women you would want anyways. You miss out more by not being an gentleman than by being one. And its not even about the women. Its about yourself. Don't you want to be seen as a gentleman? Women shouldn't determine how you act. Wouldn't you rather a woman say "he's a real gentleman but I don't want a man" than a woman to say "meh he's nothing special anyway". I have a good woman and she is all that matters to me but beside that I really don't care if women see me as a gentleman or not. How does that pay my bills or make my life better in anyway. It means more to me that my colleagues in my job seem to finally respect me than it does if some strange woman gushes over me buying her a drink. It does nothing for me and if a woman is truly attracted a man doesn't have to spend a dime anyway.
mesmerized Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Actually I see more women my age looking for casual flings than relationships. Mention wanting a relationship to a girl and she'll run the other way as fast as she can. At a young age, men and women are kind of the same. But then around 25 and up, most women want relationships. In general, more women admit they need men and want them than the opposite. In fact, I have VERY rarely come across a guy who says he wants a relationship. 99% say they only want sex from women.
Author FrustratedStandards Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 Yes, and I hear, "I don't need a man. I'm independent" waaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I hear men say, "I don't need a woman. I'm independent." What's yer point? Her point is that you're dismissing a comparison because you don't agree with it. But a comparison simply HIGHLIGHTS the differences so you can SEE what we are trying to SAY. It's like talking to a wall.
Author FrustratedStandards Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 I have a good woman and she is all that matters to me but beside that I really don't care if women see me as a gentleman or not. How does that pay my bills or make my life better in anyway. It means more to me that my colleagues in my job seem to finally respect me than it does if some strange woman gushes over me buying her a drink. It does nothing for me and if a woman is truly attracted a man doesn't have to spend a dime anyway. Well that's a different story. You have a woman. You're saying you don't want her to see you like a gentleman? What if before you met her, she noticed you weren't a gentlman at all. Now imagine if she did and how that would impact her impression of you and your subsequent relationship? If I was a man, I would be embarrassed not to be a gentleman. I wouldn't feel like a man at all. 2
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 At a young age, men and women are kind of the same. But then around 25 and up, most women want relationships. In general, more women admit they need men and want them than the opposite. In fact, I have VERY rarely come across a guy who says he wants a relationship. 99% say they only want sex from women. Now I feel like less of a man...
Author FrustratedStandards Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 At a young age, men and women are kind of the same. But then around 25 and up, most women want relationships. In general, more women admit they need men and want them than the opposite. In fact, I have VERY rarely come across a guy who says he wants a relationship. 99% say they only want sex from women. I think that might also have to do with the fact that sex is really all they can offer (and not necessarily good sex at that). Many men on here have admitted to feeling insecure or not good enough for a woman. Saying they don't want a relationship is probably their way of defending their shortcomings (as per them). 1
Woggle Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Well that's a different story. You have a woman. You're saying you don't want her to see you like a gentleman? What if before you met her, she noticed you weren't a gentlman at all. Now imagine if she did and how that would impact her impression of you and your subsequent relationship? If I was a man, I would be embarrassed not to be a gentleman. I wouldn't feel like a man at all. I didn't spend a dime until about the third date and we have a great marriage. She feels the same as me about women who love to bash men but then complain the lack of chivalry. I don't define my manhood based on whether or not I bought strange women drinks when I was single.
Author FrustratedStandards Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 I didn't spend a dime until about the third date and we have a great marriage. She feels the same as me about women who love to bash men but then complain the lack of chivalry. I don't define my manhood based on whether or not I bought strange women drinks when I was single. What about the first two dates? Oh my gawsh. That's a huge turn off. You honestly sound like a great guy, and I really like you from what I've read on LS, but seriously? Not a dime till third date? How is it a date then? It feels more like a dinner with a friend. Again, this is MY own view of things, clearly your wife didn't feel the same way, and its great that it has worked out for you. But I don't bash men. Well actually. Yes I do. I call them pussies. But that's not bashing. The truth hurts. Again, its not on how much money you spend or if you spend anything at all. It's the attitude towards the woman that is shown through chivalry. If you had held the door on the first date, picked her up from her place, picked up the tab and then kissed her on the cheek goodnight, it would have been much more romantic and she would have felt MUCH more like a lady. "Wow, this guy didn't just take me out, he took me out."
Woggle Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 The first date was the day I met her and we hung out together on the boardwalk. The next date was hanging out again on the boardwalk. The third date was an official one at a nice place and then when I really felt good about her then I went all out. Show a man you are worth it and then he will make the effort but many men are just sick of the drama that goes along with too many modern women.
Author FrustratedStandards Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 The first date was the day I met her and we hung out together on the boardwalk. The next date was hanging out again on the boardwalk. The third date was an official one at a nice place and then when I really felt good about her then I went all out. Show a man you are worth it and then he will make the effort but many men are just sick of the drama that goes along with too many modern women. Then they should drop her instantly if she's like that so he can move onto another girl who understands how to appreciate him. Boxing all of us into that category only makes it worse.
turt Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 What exactly do you expect these men to do? Do you want him to hand over his number and ask you on a date? I posted a thread about this and I was told that you had to start a conversation first. The guy that did start a conversation ended up failing with you...
Author FrustratedStandards Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 What exactly do you expect these men to do? Do you want him to hand over his number and ask you on a date? I posted a thread about this and I was told that you had to start a conversation first. The guy that did start a conversation ended up failing with you... Imagine you are a woman. If a really short (well, short for you) man who is twice your age came up to you and said "you are beautiful, nice dress, come visit me i work [here]" how would you react?
SJC2008 Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 This may have been covered but I'm not reading all the replies. MOST people meet thier SO's at work, shcool, through mutual friends, or at church etc. NOT NOT NOT by stepping to them at a bar or club or at a grocery stroe or at the washeteria or at a book store. It does happen but it's rare. My mother met my father at some sort of group thing called parents without partners. Meaning they were at a place to MEET someone and didn't stand around saying "Why won't anyone hit on me" "I'm going to this mixer to meet my wife". That's why OLD is taking off. But wheter you meet a good person or a creep is on you just like in real life. You want to meet someone? Search for a singels bar/club where you know and they know you are single. Search for a speed dating event which is in person. Get on meetup.com and join a group with some people, and that men would do, that you have things with in common. 1
Oxy Moronovich Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Imagine you are a woman. If a really short (well, short for you) man who is twice your age came up to you and said "you are beautiful, nice dress, come visit me i work [here]" how would you react? How would I react? I'd take it as an excuse to make an attention-whorish/male-bashing thread where I dismiss all good advice/reasoning from well-meaning posters. That's how I'd react. It would certainly be better than being positive and keep trying to find someone special.
Author FrustratedStandards Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 How would I react? I'd take it as an excuse to make an attention-whorish/male-bashing thread where I dismiss all good advice/reasoning from well-meaning posters. That's how I'd react. It would certainly be better than being positive and keep trying to find someone special. Oh my ass. "Keep trying to find someone special." That's where the deluded "soulmate" ideology comes in. But I guess you're right, not expecting "specialness" in a man isn't helping either.
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