InJest Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 I'm also wondering what her conversations were like when the men did approach her. FrustratedStandards, what do you have to offer that would attract a man?
FitChick Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 This thread shows why online dating is so popular. OP, why didn't you give them your business card or ask for theirs? That is a good way to establish a lot of things up front (they have a job, for one). I agree that Frustrated Standards should post a photo of herself from the neck down. Men will approach a "butterface" for a one night stand at the very least. Of course, if that is all they were looking for and you didn't look like one night stand material, they wouldn't have pursued it further. Maybe you should take it as a compliment.
GorillaTheater Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 a predator eating a little baby pagan. <falls off chair laughing> But really, is there anyone here that could truthfully say they wouldn't kill a Wiccan if they knew they'd get away with it?
InJest Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 Men probably aren't going to be approaching butterfaces for one night stands in club where everyone is dressed in suits. Probably enough women with pretty faces, which is what made me wonder about hers. Throw in the fact that she could start at the shooting guard position on an NBA team, and its all making sense to me.
USCGAviator Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 BUT, I do think men in America don't approach very much anymore. I agree with this^ I think its because our American women have stopped using the fitness approach in favor of "few extra" and "BBW" 1
reallyhotguy Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 The way I see it, your situation is no different from the frustrated men on here -- the key word, of course, being "frustrated". I was happy to see you putting yourself in new and slightly uncomfortable positions in order to try and learn new things. Imagine my disappointment to learn that, despite your hard front, when your very first attempt failed, you did what your typical "pussy" would do -- gave up and found some way to blame others for your own failings. What you are doing is not working. If you are not willing to change what you're doing, because you don't feel like you should have to -- great, but that's your decision, and you are responsible for the consequences. No one likes a person who complains about something they willingly chose to do. Furthermore, you don't understand why what you're doing is not working -- if you actually did, it would be no problem for you to change your behaviors for success. So your conclusion -- that men are pussies -- is based on nothing. Nothing but the same old coping mechanisms used by everyone who's afraid of failure. I wish you would pick yourself up and try again, instead of instigating LS with words that you know will rile people up. That's bad faith and, as others have pointed out, reflects poorly on your character and offers a reasonable explanation for your bad results that you seemingly refuse to consider. 3
ditzchic Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 I bet OP has a stale vagina that smells like a cheap motel. Lol! At least this troll has a good sense of humor.
ffw Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 No, women have quite a few "sexy" nonverbal signals. According to most body language books I've read, men just have a lot of problems reading them. Rule of thumb: if a woman smiles at you and maintains eye contact for longer than 3 seconds, then looks down and away, it's almost always a come-on gesture. A woman smiling and maintaining eye contact with you for a few seconds, then looking away "naturally" may just be a friendly gesture, unless she repeats it several times. You also need to watch for a "genuine" smile as opposed to a fake smile. She may be sending you a fake smile because you're creeping her out. A genuine smile (corners of the eye crinkle) with eye contact, repeated several times, is usually at least a mild interest signal. Also watch for women who sit in an "open" form (don't cross their arms, front of their body is more exposed) or who seem to be alone often. Pretty much... exactly what the OP was doing. Ah..."Body language books". It has all the solutions of how men & women show signs to get affection. Doesn't it? If only everyone could have followed them blindly, this world could have been a better place. Personally, I prefer following natural instincts rather than reading books by so called professionals telling what to do.
kaylan Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 So how can a woman get you to approach her then? Or, if you're telling women that they should approach guys, how can a woman tell if a guy is "signaling" that he's interested? Whenever I approach, I get shot down in a very brutal way, but guys don't seem to give out any nonverbal signals that differentiate between friendly and interested. How can a woman tell? You get someone to engage you in conversation by smiling a couple of times. One time doesnt always do the trick because some people are just friendly. I smile at everyone when Im having fun drinking with my friends. Ill make eye contact and smile more than once at a chick Im into. If shes into me as well I expect us to smile at each other a couple times. Then I go and say hi. Im sorry that dudes are being jerks when they turn you down...I never understood why some men and women will be so lame when turning someone down. Ill talk to a girl Im not interested in for a few moments, as not to be rude. Then I will say something like "hey hun, I gotta get back to my friends for a bit" I think they get the hint then. Ill agree that some dudes dont purposely shoot out nonverbal cues to girls. In those cases you really can only decide if they are into you if they smile back a lot and cant seem to stop checking you out. I purposefully use signals to show a girl in interested and then wait to see if she shows any back. Mainly eye contact and a smile. If she smiles back, Ill double check by walking by her area with my friends at some point...like when we are on are war to the bar for a drink...and then Ill do a soft lip bite smile and say hi as Im going by, If she says hey, then I talk to her. Usually it doesnt take all that. Something I just ask a girl whos on the dance floor to dance with me...or some random girl will ask me to dance.
kaylan Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 I purposefully use signals to show a girl in interested and then wait to see if she shows any back. Mainly eye contact and a smile. If she smiles back, Ill double check by walking by her area with my friends at some point...like when we are on our way to the bar for a drink...and then Ill do a soft lip bite smile and say hi as Im going by, If she says hey, then I talk to her. Usually it doesnt take all that. Sometimes I just ask a girl whos on the dance floor to dance with me...or some random girl will ask me to dance. Bolded parts where I fixed my typos.
kaylan Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 No, women have quite a few "sexy" nonverbal signals. According to most body language books I've read, men just have a lot of problems reading them. Rule of thumb: if a woman smiles at you and maintains eye contact for longer than 3 seconds, then looks down and away, it's almost always a come-on gesture. A woman smiling and maintaining eye contact with you for a few seconds, then looking away "naturally" may just be a friendly gesture, unless she repeats it several times. You also need to watch for a "genuine" smile as opposed to a fake smile. She may be sending you a fake smile because you're creeping her out. A genuine smile (corners of the eye crinkle) with eye contact, repeated several times, is usually at least a mild interest signal. Also watch for women who sit in an "open" form (don't cross their arms, front of their body is more exposed) or who seem to be alone often. Pretty much... exactly what the OP was doing. Oh please...books lol Everyone uses body language and makes unconscious nonverbal cues. Some also make signals on purpose. Not everyone is good at reading them either. Most women suck at reading body language because they never approach men. So how would they practice reading potential interests?Yeah, I think that rejection DOES play a part. But this goes back to men not wanting to face the rejection, instead choosing not to even try, and then go home by themselves and take care of business. Men are never giong to stop getting rejected. Either are women. (I have been rejected plenty.) That's a part of life. But I don't even think men try as much anymore. Instead, they are kind of deadended in this regard and instead of trying, will use the excuse that rejections keeps them from trying then go home and play with themselves while drooling over a woman that doesn't even know he is breathing. Instead of crying about rejection, men AND women should do some approaching. Cant blame someone else when ya do nothing folks.
verhrzn Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 You get someone to engage you in conversation by smiling a couple of times. Ill agree that some dudes dont purposely shoot out nonverbal cues to girls. In those cases you really can only decide if they are into you if they smile back a lot and cant seem to stop checking you out. I purposefully use signals to show a girl in interested and then wait to see if she shows any back. Mainly eye contact and a smile. If she smiles back, Ill double check by walking by her area with my friends at some point...like when we are on are war to the bar for a drink...and then Ill do a soft lip bite smile and say hi as Im going by, If she says hey, then I talk to her. *Sigh* Looks like approaching men wouldn't work then either, since they never give me any signals. They don't look at me, or smile at me, or check me out. Maybe, OP, we just need to accept being alone, since we don't seem to be what guys want.
Lostinlife4now Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 I'm actually a well-known person so I would rather not put up my pictures. It would be very unprofessional and i'm afraid it might hurt my career. But trust me, look are NOT the problem. I'm 28. Hi FS!!! If you are well known then I am sure some people have already formed an opinion about you! Not right, men should get to know the real you! If you are on TV or in the media, then public opinion has already been formed. Too general..the men you need to meet need to be more specific. Give the girl a chance...... If I met George Clooney out, I would treat him just like I treat anyone else in my life...with love and respect and the benefit of the doubt. Am I making any sense here? I have been told I look like Marisa Tomei.....I think she is cute! :laugh:
Woggle Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 If one of these men approached you and you weren't interested there is a good chance you would cruelly shut him down for even having the nerve to think he can talk to such a woman. Correct me if I am wrong but that is why men don't approach. Also men get lectured all the time on street harassment and to leave women alone but now we are pussies because we don't approach. Men can't win and many have given up trying.
ffw Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 If one of these men approached you and you weren't interested there is a good chance you would cruelly shut him down for even having the nerve to think he can talk to such a woman. Correct me if I am wrong but that is why men don't approach. Also men get lectured all the time on street harassment and to leave women alone but now we are pussies because we don't approach. Men can't win and many have given up trying. Bravo, Woggle. I agree with you for the 1st time. I wish I could clap like Joker on this one .
Nightsky Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 Only a pussy would believe the logic cited in the OP. That goes for men and women. I don't even like meeting women in bars woman might be smiling because shes drunk. Not as sweet as when the girl in the book store or what ever keeps smiling at you. 1
kaylan Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 Ugh. Either i'm not obvious enough or i'm too obvious. It shouldn't be up to the girl. And it pisses me off that a woman has to make the approach happen. That's not how it's supposed to work. Anything in someones dating life is up to them. Why shouldnt you put in any effort to make things happen? Dont be lazy. A man or woman should work to make an approach happen. You do realize people dont wanna just be bothered by random strangers all the time right? Thats why in the dating scene people give signals to those they are receptive to. But I get it now. Successful women have it the hardest cuz men are pussies. I can't find another word for it. I was watching an interview with Charlize Theron the other day, and she is GORGEOUS, and beautiful and successful and all the amazing things you can think of. Honey, maybe you arent as hot to trot as you think. You think guys in a bar look at you and think "hey...look at her...she seems successful...ewww I dont want her"..? How the hell would they know you are successful from just looking at you? And btw...in our age group (im 25) I know plenty of dudes who would love a successful gal. Our generation is different than folks who are older...so you cannot simply blame your failures on some assertion that all men hate successful women. You know what she said in the interview? "I can't find a boyfriend. I'm so alone all the time". BAM. There you go. You do realize a relationship is more about looks right? She could have things about her personality that guys dont like in a girlfriend. She could have certain relationship expectations that the dudes she go after dont like. So BAM. There you go.
FitChick Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 Trader Joe's is a good pickup joint. Just go to one in an area where the best men are likely to live. I'm always being hit on by cubs looking for cougars. Too bad I'm not interested because I'd get the pick of the litter!
kaylan Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 P.S. - I never buy women drinks if Im not dating them or hardly know them. Why should I? We are both getting to know one another to see if we like each other...we owe each other nothing. Drink buying shouldnt have anything to do with all this. Good thing Ive never bought a drink for a girl I was not already dating. Trader Joe's is a good pickup joint. Just go to one in an area where the best men are likely to live. I'm always being hit on by cubs looking for cougars. Too bad I'm not interested because I'd get the pick of the litter! No way? srsly? Hmmm...looks like I need to go cougar hunting at the local grocers.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 OP will end up married to a very expensive vibrator named "trump". I figured his penis could do some amazing things. It certainly isn't his looks that was snagging those pretty ladies. 1
fishtaco Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 P.S. - I never buy women drinks if Im not dating them or hardly know them. Why should I? We are both getting to know one another to see if we like each other...we owe each other nothing. Drink buying shouldnt have anything to do with all this. Good thing Ive never bought a drink for a girl I was not already dating. No way? srsly? Hmmm...looks like I need to go cougar hunting at the local grocers. I never buy women drinks either, unless they are my friends, or we're on a date. I don't shell out money just because I think some woman is attractive. That's called attempting to buy face time with money. If she would only talk to me if I buy her drinks, that's a woman I'm not interested in associating with. If she would talk to me even if I don't buy her drinks, then there's no problem there, why buy drinks? Anyway, FrustratedStandards sounds like the female version of those bitter guys that can't get dates. This applies even outside of dating. If an issue happens in life, and all you do is put the blame on everyone else, you will not improve yourself. Without improving yourself, you will only be able to repeat goals that you've already achieved; you will not be able to reach any new goals. Anyway, FrustratedStandards, maybe now you have a little window into what men have to do to get a date. We have to do more than just smile three times, and our results are not only NOT any better than yours, sometimes we'll even get a negative reaction. Like if you smiled at a man, and instead of just not being interested, he gave you the additional "yeah right, as if I'd be interested in someone like you" look. So really, your set back that night was very neutral as far as I'm concerned. If your ego is so fragile that you can't even take some neutral disinterest, you are really not equipped for dating. As for "why approach if they're not interested", you know how many times I've gotten phone numbers from women that are not interested in me? Why give out your phone number if you're not interested? My point is, you are venturing into the territory where you're trying to take the first step, i.e. stick your neck out to get something you want. Good job, that's the right thing to do. But what you've experienced is only a tiny little fraction of what us men (or anyone one taking the first initiative) have to deal with. So, honestly, as someone that has stuck my neck out and failed, many times, under way more hostile conditions, that was nothing. And if I ever become single again, I will stick my neck out many more times, and fail many more times, and possibly in much more negatively spectacular manners than your one experience. My suggestion for you, is you work on your ego. Try not to have it damaged so badly when things don't go your way. Oh damage will be there, it's part of dating. Unless you are delusional, you will suffer damages to your ego, no matter who you are. Find a way to guard against it, and ideally try to build your ego back up by spending some alone time and blocking out the negatives, or with other activities. I'm sure you have some things you do in life that you are good at/proud of. If that doesn't work, I may get lynched by the people for LS for this, do practice dates. Date men you're not interested in, because that builds your ego back up. That's right, use them. Don't worry, men, I'm equally morally ambiguous when it comes to advice for men too, date practice girls, they serve a very important role. Alternately, as a woman, you also have access to something men don't have... online dating. Oh don't expect a date out of it, but put up a hot pictures showing some cleavage, and you'll get bombarded with attention. It's a useful ego booster for some women, maybe it'll work for you. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 How can you not like a troll that says things like: a predator eating a little baby pagan. 2
somedude81 Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 FS, did you notice other women getting approached and chatted up that night? If so, did they seem to do anything different than you?
Ross MwcFan Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 Ok. So last night, I was being so painfully obvious with the smiles, and I was alone half the night sitting at the bar, ALSO smiling at guys I noticed were looking at me. NOTHING. One man approached me after I had to smile at him a total of THREE TIMES before he got the frickin hint, but even after that he only introduced himself, told me where he worked and then said "come visit me sometime" and that was the end of it. I've never even heard of the place and he didn't bother mentioning where it was. Later in the night, after dancing my ass off, another group of 3 men in suits approached after (again) I had to smile 3-4 times before the dummies got the point, and even then they only introduced themselves. They were next to us at the bar for another hour, and never even offered to buy us a drink (we were buying the entire time ourselves). Again, no contact info, nothing. And they were flirting with my girlfriends afterwards, so I don't get it. We all left confused. I don't understand. I did the eyebrows, I did the smiles, leaning outward, being alone half the f*cking night, and I looked nice. Even as I wandered aimlessly when I lost my friends, I would bump into cute guys and say "I lost my friends" and we would laugh at that, but nothing came of it. Men really are pussies and I think it has to do with the men in the West. I don't hear my friends in europe complaining that they don't get approached. They have men on a waiting list for gods sake. So i'm moving. There's no need in being rude towards men who don't have enough guts/confidence to be the chaser.
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