Is this type of person likely to cheat?

[drifter777]

To add to this discussion I'll post the answer I gave you on a different thread.

 

"The kind of woman you describe (pretty & friendly) can have as much sex as she wants, whenever and wherever she wants it. Beyond this exact type of woman, I think that fully 50% of the women out there are in this same boat. Any time, any place, IF they want it.

 

So it gets down to what a girl/woman wants. If she wants to experience lots of sex with lots of men, she can. If she wants to keep the guys at arms length, she can. It's totally up to her. "

 

Regarding this:

...

-She has NEVER cheated in her life on anyone (as far as I know).

 

You've maybe heard the expression "you never hear the bullet that kills you". Well, cheating is just like that and on d-day, if feels like you just got shot in the heart. "As far as you know" is just that because if she thinks that you may react at all negatively she will never tell you the truth.

[frozensprouts]

it's hard to say what she will/won't do, as it's hard to predict someone's ehavior without knowing them

 

maybe she is one of those types who are clueless when guys hit on them (i'm like that...used to bug my husband, but once he saw that i didn't care if guys hit on me, it's now a source of amusement for us)...

 

maybe she's someone who's genuinely "nice" and doesn't want to offend so she says nothing ( this doesn't automatically mean she'll cheat though)

 

maybe she's one of those people who are just totally without guile, and the idea of cheating never enters her mind

 

maybe she does know her boundaries, and knows that since she wouldn't act on it, being hit on doesn't bother her

 

i know you said she was harassed when she was younger and didn't do anything about it, but she was young back then and maybe didn't know what to do, or was afraid she'd lose her job ( she may well have matured since then)

 

maybe she loves very intensely ( limmerance) you and doesn't want anyone else right now( mind you, if that is the only reason she won't cheat, ( and this may sound crazy) I'd be concerned, as when those intense initial feelings of "limmerance" fade, she may develop a "wandering eye' as she may mistake limmerance for love, and once the limmerance has faded, she may feel that she 'loves you but is no longer 'in love' with you":sick:)...however, love combined with strong moral values, a decent sense of self and boundaries, etc. may well equal someone who won't cheat. If that describes your girlfriend, you are one lucky guy. If some of that is lacking, it can be strengthened...just talk to her about your concerns but couch it in kindness ( i love you so and don't want to lose you- if she loves you, she may well understand, and it's a good chnace to see how well the two of you communicate)

 

Kidd's idea of asking her to read the book is a good idea...perhaps you could broach the subject by saying that a friend was talking about it so you thought you could read it together to see what it's all about

[SoMovinOn]

Chuck ...

 

Anyone is capable of cheating. Whether they ever will or not, you can never know. For the most part *they* can never know. If the right set of circumstances presents itself, it might happen.

 

The real issue here isn't with your GF ... it's with you. You have trust issues. Those issues will destroy your R as quickly as her cheating would. You should definitely work on that.

[whichwayisup]

Some people do not cheat, they just don't have it in them.

 

 

The real issue here isn't with your GF ... it's with you. You have trust issues. Those issues will destroy your R as quickly as her cheating would. You should definitely work on that.

 

I do agree with SMO, and just let your girlfriend know that you need some more TLC from her more often. Don't act jealous, hurt/petty or accuse her of anything..

 

Look at it like this.. You have an amazing woman in your life - Enjoy the fact and smile that others see her attractivness, her personality, her energy and beauty. Instead of being upset or feel threatened by others noticing her, flirting with her, see it for what it is.. More positive than negative. I hope this makes sense to you..

[chucksagent]

Somovinon - This is why I post on message boards and some friends think only nerds do that. Is because SOMETIMES you find a brilliant person who sums it all up. I don't think it's humanly possible to state it better than you did. Ballgame. Question wrapped up. We have our answer. Lol. A very close friend of ours who we are even going on vacation with this year (he and his girlfriendtoo). He thinks my girlfriend is fantastic (and so does his girlfriend - we all get along)...and he said something similar to what you said..."A girl like her would require the PERFECT set of circumstances all stacked on top of eachtother, like 5 or 6 perfect coincidences added up to even CONSIDER it...and at that point I don't think she would." I think the way you both said "circumstances." Because I think outside of just being a bad person and seeking it out...I think as humans we are flawed and the key is NOT putting yourself in bad situations. My girl NEVER puts herself in bad situations, so right from the word GO, I think I am ahead of the game. My only worry was if an AGGRESSIVE guy realized her personality, I worry he could exploit it. But as you said, ANYONE can cheat, so impossible to predict or stop.

 

whichwayisup - what a beautiful way of looking at it. I am honestly going to try that from now on because thats what she deserves. She hasn't wronged me and even in those past situations where I felt she handled it wrong it A.) Didnt effect me and B.) didnt lead to cheating. Everyone handles situations differently. And you're right..I should be HAPPY and EXCITED that I am the one she CHOOSES to be with being that so many men like her.

 

Alice2012 - The reason I didn't like her, honestly was 2 fold. 1) I had JUST gotten out of a long/serious/engagement...hated women...thought I'd be single forever. And 2.) (maybe this adds to my insecurity theory) She is gorgeous, hilarious, and awesome and didn't think I had a shot. I am hilarious and awesome, but people today, looks are SOOOOO important. I don't care what any of you say. Even my uncle said to me after a Holiday when she was there with me..."Wow, good job buddy. You hit a home run here, she is great. You know what, sometimes after they get a little older and are with a few jerks they know the right things to look for." I took that as him saying what the writing on the wall is, well my friend, you are average looking on a good day, but you're successful, hard working, funny, have great friends and family, drive a sports car, have a nice place, are kind and giving, etc. Maybe she looked past the weight and looks. LOL. Again, people say "insecurity" but can't it just be a fact??? Lol. Brad Pitt cheated on Angelina. Hugh Granted cheated on Liz Hurley with Devine Brown...come on people. HOTTER people than I have been cheated...bet they weren't insecure...LOL!

[imajerk]

Yes, she will definitely cheat on you. Never trust anyone that's good looking, friendly and with a good personality. Find a fat, ugly woman that's not friendly with no personality. That type of person will never cheat on you.

[stopdropandroll]

You're more likely to cheat than she is. Stop projecting your issues onto her and creating problems that don't exist.

[chucksagent]

So you guys are saying it's ok to allow men to hit on you when your boyfriend isn't around and not stop it or be frank with them?

[Owl]

So you guys are saying it's ok to allow men to hit on you when your boyfriend isn't around and not stop it or be frank with them?

 

Is that REALLY all you got out of three pages of posts?

[The Blue Knight]

Frozensprouts - You said it 110% correctly. If everyone on here would stop JUDGING and read the facts. Ok, the girl has an AMAZING moral compass and value system. Her family is amazing. HOWEVER, she has told me that in the past, before we were together, she would get sexually harrassed at work (WAS physical when she was 20 washing dishes) and again when she was 32 (NON-Physical doing the same KIND of work she does now; different employer. So the fact that she has a history of NOT defending herself worries me.

 

WHICH LEADS to Frozensports EPIC points (some of you should take notes) my 2 other worries. Her conflict resolution style is HORRIBLE. She HATES confrontation and does ANYTHING to avoid it. AND, as I have said in another post, wasn't attractive in High School (late bloomer syndrom) and now she is GORGEOUS and doesn't see it. So we have 2 vs. 2. Moral Compass/Values (good) vs. Conflict Reslution/Self Esteem (Bad). What do you think Frozensporuts with that info I gave you?

 

Kidd: BRILLIANT. And some people would call your or I jaded. But brother, I see it ALL THE TIME. As a lawyer, I have handled a fair amount of Divorces, HOWEVER, MOST of my crazy stories come from family, friends, and/or friends of friends. A dear friend of my family had the SAME situation as you. Mother, 2 children, she and her Husband had great jobs. And the husband was having an affair and got the woman pregnant. She was ALSO married and they both left their spouses and now live together with the child. People say WE are crazy, but they refuse to look at facts and life.

 

And hey, Peg Nose Pete - I'm not comparing my girl to the economic crisis...I am comparing the sheep, oops, I mean citizens reactions to it AND to cheating. It's HORRIBLE stuff and everyone just lets it happen and keeps talking like it ISN'T a serious issue today. Peoples inaction and apathy is scary.

 

Chuck,

 

Love means risk. You can either enjoy life and take in each day living it to the fullest, or you can live in fear of what might happen if your girl catches on that she's a real hottie!

 

Kidd makes a valid point. Having been in my own previous 14 year marriage where my wife cheated, I was stunned and never thought she could have done something like that to me and the kids. But unlike Kidd, I didn't assume that every future relationship I had was going to have would end with the same result. Today, I've been married 15 years to a wonderful girl who I trust totally. But then, she's not my ex-wife and she lives her ethics / morals rather than talk about them. Would she ever cheat on me? I don't believe she would, but then when it comes to human beings there is no 100% certainty.

 

There are no guarantees and if you are a divorce attorney you know that as much as anyone. As someone in law enforcement I see lousy relationships each day and I can't believe how they treat one another. I see cheaters and two-timers and it's despicable how people in relationships can treat one another. I even see it with guys I work with and it's sickening to be honest.

 

But I don't project what I see at work back to my home life.

 

My formula is simple. Treat your girl (in my case my wife) better than she could ever be treated by any other man and your chances of keeping her go up considerably. Listen to her and respect her always. Be there for her when she needs someone to talk too. Those are the little things that will keep her from straying. Flatter her and compliment her as appropriate. Tell her how beautiful she is and how sexy she is. Date her and make her always feel she's special.

 

My wife had about five guys she dated / or who were boyfriends before I came along. I make sure that I treat her better than any of those guys ever treated her. And I know a couple cheated on her and didn't always treat her the best.

 

What I believe causes more women in otherwise solid relationships to stray is when their husband / man just becomes uninvolved with them beyond their own "man needs" which is typically sex. They tune their wives out. They don't listen with they talk. They don't do anything romantic for their wives. They stop complimenting them and paying special attention to them. Instead, they take them for granted and over time, women in those relationships are ripe for another man to come into their lives.

 

As I said up front. Their are no guarantees with love but you can stack the odds in your favor by treating her better than any other man has or will treat her. As the saying goes, "Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."

[SincereOnlineGuy]

She is 35 years old, in a committed relationship living together, (but not married and no kids) GORGEOUS face, amazing body, SUPER friendly, tall, slender, sexy, hilarious, great personality, etc. (diamond in the rough type - wasn't SUPER pretty in high school so she doesn't realize how Hot she is)...NEVER gets mad or is mean to people. My feeling on this kind of woman is that she has a target on her back. She's SLIGHTLY older, no kids, not married, VERY attractive, VERY friendly, makes those around her feel safe and comfortable...What are the odds she would cheat on her boyfriend if some guy REALLY hit on her hard.

 

Your thoughts?

 

 

 

What would all of that crap have to do with whether or not someone would cheat?

[standtall]

Chuck,

 

 

Owl & Bennotbroke - FINALLY two smart people...GREAT advice from both of you.

 

 

 

Is because SOMETIMES you find a brilliant person who sums it all up.

 

Gee, I feel pretty smart. I hope you can judge the rest of us to meet your standard since you can empathize and know what it is like to feel judged.

 

Wow Anne, how non-judgmental of you. Why do people like you refuse to just examine facts and answer a question?

If everyone on here would stop JUDGING and read the facts.

 

Quite frankly, I have not read many posts half as judmental as yours.

 

 

 

 

Dude, your situation is a mess because of 3 things.

 

1. You're entire thread is dominated by YOUR JUDGMENT of the physical aspects of your girlfriend and everyone else around you, and that is what you seem to focus on. I chose not to quote those here because there are so many it would make this post harder to follow.

2. If your conflicting and contradicting posts reflect the way you deal with your girlfriend, then she must be frustrated to put it mildly.

3. YOU.

 

As owl responded

So you guys are saying it's ok to allow men to hit on you when your boyfriend isn't around and not stop it or be frank with them?

 

Is that REALLY all you got out of three pages of posts?

 

Most women do not cheat because they're hit on constantly, or their boyfriend is not as good looking as them, or for other shallow reasons. Most women cheat to get the emotional connection that their lacking in their current relationship.

Because you really don't seem to understand your girlfriend, her needs, or what is important to women, then

I'll wait to see your next post titled "she is cheating on me" when you drive her to do it.

Edited March 6, 2012 by standtall

[chucksagent]

Blueknight - Very well said, and I think that's what it comes down to. What's your opinion on girlfriends, fiancees, domestic partners, or wives ALLOWING (not stopping) men from flirting/hitting on them at work or public places?

 

Standtall - Why not interpret the facts I presented? I am judging THOSE who judged me. It's called opening the door. I don't walk up to a fat person and say "Hey, you're fat." But if some fat person walked up to me and said "Hey' You're fat," I would respond "Pot calling the kettle black much?" If someone opens the door with their behavior, you can respond accordingly. Go back to my first post; I posted facts and asked for opinions. Then everyone started jumping on me and judging me based on facts I listed.

 

The thing about facts are, it doesn't matter if you judge them or if you don't judge them. They are facts. All you can do is apply facts to a given situation and try to figure it out.

 

I gave facts and was asking for people to apply them. Is this type of girl likely to cheat? And I strongly disagree with you that ONLY unhappy women cheat. I have a friend who shares that sentiment, and if we assume it's true than we assume that all people are inherently bad. That people set out to cheat because they are unhappy and that a HAPPY person simply will never stray regardless of being in a bad situation, encountering a very good looking/smooth talking/manipulative member of the opposite sex, or a persistent co-worker who sees you daily and tries to establish a work-marriage and weaken your defenses. It's documents that ALL of those cases exist.

 

Yet there you sit, claiming only miserable people cheat. I would bet my life that's an untrue statement. I would bet a lot of money ALL kinds of people cheat.

 

Like the BlueKnight said - ANYBODY can cheat, we're human beings.

[Owl]

So...what's your gameplan from here?

 

How do you intend to move forward?

[The Blue Knight]

Blueknight - Very well said, and I think that's what it comes down to. What's your opinion on girlfriends, fiancees, domestic partners, or wives ALLOWING (not stopping) men from flirting/hitting on them at work or public places?

 

Standtall - Why not interpret the facts I presented? I am judging THOSE who judged me. It's called opening the door. I don't walk up to a fat person and say "Hey, you're fat." But if some fat person walked up to me and said "Hey' You're fat," I would respond "Pot calling the kettle black much?" If someone opens the door with their behavior, you can respond accordingly. Go back to my first post; I posted facts and asked for opinions. Then everyone started jumping on me and judging me based on facts I listed.

 

The thing about facts are, it doesn't matter if you judge them or if you don't judge them. They are facts. All you can do is apply facts to a given situation and try to figure it out.

 

I gave facts and was asking for people to apply them. Is this type of girl likely to cheat? And I strongly disagree with you that ONLY unhappy women cheat. I have a friend who shares that sentiment, and if we assume it's true than we assume that all people are inherently bad. That people set out to cheat because they are unhappy and that a HAPPY person simply will never stray regardless of being in a bad situation, encountering a very good looking/smooth talking/manipulative member of the opposite sex, or a persistent co-worker who sees you daily and tries to establish a work-marriage and weaken your defenses. It's documents that ALL of those cases exist.

 

Yet there you sit, claiming only miserable people cheat. I would bet my life that's an untrue statement. I would bet a lot of money ALL kinds of people cheat.

 

Like the BlueKnight said - ANYBODY can cheat, we're human beings.

 

Flirting by girlfriends, SO's and wives? Well, I'm a bit old fashioned but there's no question that I wouldn't put up with it from my wife. She's a cutie with a great personality, and she has a second job where she works as a server PT and guys do occasionally flirt or hit on her. She flips up her diamond ring when that happens and says, "Sorry, married!" and that cuts off the issue right there. Do I worry about it? Nope. Because I trust her just as she trusts me.

 

BUT, if she was flirting or enjoying the male attention a bit too much, sure I'd have to monitor that and address it if it seemed out of hand. I don't care that someone strokes her ego by telling her she looks younger than she is, or tells her she's got pretty eyes, or whatever. Those are self-esteem boosters we all like to hear. And frankly, I'm not the jealous type anyway.

 

It comes down to the commitment in your relationship and where the two of you agree to set boundaries. If you see it and it bothers you, then talk to her about it (assuming she's actually flirting back) and tell her how it makes you feel. Ask her if she'd enjoy you flirting with women who came on to you. If she says she's okay with it, you've got some relationship issues.

 

Chuck, what it comes down to are those things you can control and those you can't. You can control how you treat her and that's a huge factor in a relationship lasting over time. You can't control her past, such as factors involving childhood self-esteem; the environment she was reared in; pros and cons she was exposed too as a child; etc. Those things are there and they are now part of the package.

 

I believe that under the right circumstances (call it the perfect storm) where all the right (or wrong depending on how you look at it) things line up, anyone is capable of cheating. But I'd also suggest the same thing with homicide. Under the right set of circumstances anyone can commit murder, but those items seldom line up and most individuals, thankfully . . . have control settings and so we don't see bodies lying everywhere. I've come to realize because of my career that just about anybody is capable of just about anything and so my personal shock value isn't what it was 20 years ago. Just the human condition I'm afraid.

 

My wife in many ways looks up to me as her anchor. I'm kind of her cornerstone. That's probably due to her own lacking self-esteem, combined with poor relationships with boyfriends before I came along. I treat her well; I give her lots of attention; the sex is solid and mutually satisfying; we earn a decent living and have a very nice house on some acreage; and we both allow the other one plenty of space to be independent; and there's lots and lots of trust. Additionally, we have kids that we love. We voice how much we love each other each and every day. So she sees me as kind of a gift in her life and in many ways I view her the same way. These things about my wife all combined make for someone who is far less likely to risk cheating on me because it's a decision based on weighing the balances and there's not much of an upside for her to risk our marriage on. Does that make sense?

 

With that said, is it possible that my wife could cheat on me if all the stars lined up just right even thought it's 99.99999% unlikely. And no matter how unlikely it is, it can happen to anyone. So my advise to you is that you control what you can and don't sweat the rest. You can control making her feel like she's the love of your life and you can show that each and every day. You can put her on a pedestal and love her unconditionally. You can show her displays of affection and romance each and every day. Those are things you can control. So take ownership of what you can and don't fret the rest. Smothering a person or attempting to inhibit their independence only results in a backlash and they will resent you over time. Not that you're doing that, but don't start is what I'm saying.

 

[chucksagent]

BlueKnight - VERY well said...I think that's probably what everything boils down to. I'm old fashioned too and don't appreciate unnecessary flirting. Harmless compliments are fine. Your wife handles it perfectly - show them the ring. My girlfriend told me a story that a guy at work who she never saw before randomly told her one day "You're hair looks great." She works in the office and it was one of the delivery drivers for the company...He saw her on her way to her car. I wasn't mad at all. A compliment is a nice go booster for all of us.

 

The things I worry about past and present are AGGRESSIVE guys who take it further. "Thanks for the compliment." "No problem, would you like to get a drink Friday?" "Sorry, I can't, I have a boyfriend." "Oh, who cares, it's just a friendly drink...We work together, what's the big deal?" Yadda Yadda Yadda.

 

Some guys are just RELENTLESS. But as you said, it has to come to trust. I have to trust she can handle herself in those situations.

 

Owl - I think I will calm down and have faith and trust in her. She has never given me any HARD reason not to. Just because she handles things different than I do, doesn't mean she is wrong.

[standtall]

Chuck,

 

 

You're only agreeing with the posters that are telling you what you want to hear.

 

Even though you claim that you're only defending yourself,

 

I am judging THOSE who judged me. It's called opening the door. I don't walk up to a fat person and say "Hey, you're fat." But if some fat person walked up to me and said "Hey' You're fat," I would respond "Pot calling the kettle black much?" If someone opens the door with their behavior, you can respond accordingly

 

Most of your judgement's are for people that are not on this forum, so your defensiveness is not really warranted. Here, I'll start quoting some of your (good and bad) judgement's of people. I'll save the ones that generally insult everyone on this forum and your fellow man for last.

 

GORGEOUS face, amazing body, SUPER friendly, tall, slender, sexy, hilarious, great personality, etc. (diamond in the rough type - wasn't SUPER pretty in high school so she doesn't realize how Hot she is)...NEVER gets mad or is mean to people. My feeling on this kind of woman is that she has a target on her back. She's SLIGHTLY older, no kids, not married, VERY attractive, VERY friendly, makes those around her feel safe and comfortable..

Ok, the girl has an AMAZING moral compass and value system.

AND, as I have said in another post, wasn't attractive in High School (late bloomer syndrom) and now she is GORGEOUS and doesn't see it

She is a loyal person by nature.

some creep in the deli line was eyeballing her and started talking to her.

I'm not going to deal with some scum bag hitting on my girlfriend while I am at work

Now what this has to do with anything eludes me....

he is an Ivy League graduate

She is gorgeous, hilarious, and awesome

My favorite.....

a REAL ugly dude

 

 

Combine this with the fact that your ego is oozing out of you.

He told me because I am very smart and very successful

And unless a girl see's me in one of my suits getting out of my sports car

I am hilarious and awesome,

you are average looking on a good day, but you're successful, hard working, funny, have great friends and family, drive a sports car, have a nice place, are kind and giving, etc.

.

 

and finally judging your fellow man overall..straight up and sarcastically.

 

Because EVERYONE cheats and nobody cares.

.I am comparing the sheep, oops, I mean citizens reactions to it AND to cheating.

FINALLY two smart people

sounds like a very smart person - nice for a change

 

I can't quite figure out who your insulting here, but I'll include it.

This is why I post on message boards and some friends think only nerds do that. Is because SOMETIMES you find a brilliant person who sums it all up.

 

This all sums up to the main problem here...you. I'm sure that we have all heard the saying that crazy people think everyone else is crazy and that their normal..well here ya go...you're words

And some people would call your or I jaded. But brother, I see it ALL THE TIME. As a lawyer, I have handled a fair amount of Divorces, HOWEVER, MOST of my crazy stories come from family, friends, and/or friends of friends. A dear friend of my family had the SAME situation as you. Mother, 2 children, she and her Husband had great jobs. And the husband was having an affair and got the woman pregnant. She was ALSO married and they both left their spouses and now live together with the child. People say WE are crazy,

Fortunately, there is professional help available for your insecurity issues, and until you start with addressing those, I don't think you're going to have a satisfying relationship.

Edited March 6, 2012 by standtall

[imajerk]

Fortunately, there is professional help available for your insecurity issues, and until you start with addressing those, I don't think you're going to have a satisfying relationship.

 

This is absolutely correct. I was trying to use humor in my prior post to get you to realize this, however it apparently went over your head. She will cheat on you because you don't trust her, and it's bound to show through.

 

Please dump her and give me her info. She sounds like a wonderful woman that almost any man would live to have, including myself.

[chucksagent]

Standtall - You continue to attack me and ignore the facts? Saying someone is smart or beautiful isn't a judgment; it's a fact to be analyzed. Don't give me this liberal double talk of "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." If 9 out of 10 guys look at a girl and want her, I consider he attractive. If you pass the bar exam, go to college, go to law school, and have a good practice, I think it's safe to say you are smart. The things you posted aren't judgments so much as observations in the scenario. And you have YET to give an opinion on my original question.

 

So, unless I am reading what you're saying incorrectly...People aren't crazy and don't cheat? Why is the divorce rate 54% and climbing. And not EVERY couple who cheats breaks up. Many stay together!!! Many never find out about it...You're assuming EVERY cheater gets found out and EVERY cheater gets divorced...not true...matter of fact, from the examples I previously gave, only ONE or TWO out of the FIVE got divorced!!!!!

 

And you can call me crazy all you want. Maybe I am and maybe I'm not. Maybe I am a little crazy and everyone else is a little crazy. Maybe I don't accept the currency of this country, bullcrap, as easily as many others do. Maybe I'm just tired of the BS. People call Kanye West crazy and ya know what, he probably is too. But a friend told me his recent tweet saying something like "Stop kidding yourselves people...You all lie to get what you want. People today are all the same and will do anything to get what they want." That kind of sums up what I've been trying to say. I think people in general today are shot. I think it's a selfish and greedy world. Maybe I am jaded...maybe I am crazy...maybe I have self esteem/insecutiry issues (which is ironic as you also said I am egotistical...Lol)...maybe you confuse easily.

 

But ya wanna know the truth? I think it's a bit of everything. I think I am a bit crazy, but that's fine, because "normal" people are boring and not successful. (some more judgments for you!) I am a bit insecure; I think we all are, only I'm man enough to admit it. (Read my previous posts). I think a lot of people are greedy and selfish (not all obviously, nothing is ALWAYS or NEVER). I think I am a little jaded...Hard not to be with some of the stuff I've lived and seen.

 

But you CONTINUE to ignore the question....I didn't ask for a psych eval, I asked for you to read what I wrote and give me an opinion. You're preaching about judgments, but this is a message board!!! People ASKING for judgments. On issues or situations, not on their ENTIRE BEING which unless you're secretly Sigmond Freud, you'd need a lot more hours on the couch with me before you can give me a full evalutation.

 

Just answer: What are the odds a woman would cheat on her boyfriend if some guy REALLY hit on her hard. A woman with a kind/non-confrontational personality...would she hook up with the guy to keep the peace and lie to her boyfriend?

[chucksagent]

Imajerk - It didn't go over my head. I understood it quite clearly. However, there are songs written that say "Never trust a beautiful woman." There are psychological theories about SUPER outgoing women who seek attention that they have Daddy issues and the thirst for attention is never quenched. You kinda summed up a lot of issues much larger than either of us in your sarcastic rant...I like sarcasm, I like daddy issues, I like beautiful women; so I liked your status.

[Owl]

Just answer: What are the odds a woman would cheat on her boyfriend if some guy REALLY hit on her hard. A woman with a kind/non-confrontational personality...would she hook up with the guy to keep the peace and lie to her boyfriend?

 

It depends on her, on the boyfriend, on the situation, on their relationship at the time, etc...

 

It could even depend on if she's drunk, sober, bored, lonely, out with single friends, out with married friends, etc...

 

ANYONE COULD CHEAT, DEPENDING ON THE OVERALL SITUATION AT THE TIME.

 

What you're asking is...WILL she cheat? And you seem to try to support your own conclusion that she will by demonstrating her poor boundaries and her overall attractiveness.

 

OK...so given that...maybe it's LIKELY that she will cheat. No one, not even her, can know for sure.

 

Again...now that you've sorted that out, you've got to figure out...what you gonna do about it?

 

What will you do to help minimize the chance that it will happen? Help her understand better boundaries and safeguards to protect your relationship with her? Make her dye her hair an ugly shade of poop brown and wear false teeth so she looks like a yuck mouth? End your relationship with her now before you get hurt?

 

You're asking an answer to a question that's not quantifiable...and clearly you've already got an answer in your own mind.

 

The REAL question is...what next?

 

You've said you're going to try to relax a little bit...ok. How? What, SPECIFICALLY, will you change?

[Owl]

Imajerk - It didn't go over my head. I understood it quite clearly. However, there are songs written that say "Never trust a beautiful woman." There are psychological theories about SUPER outgoing women who seek attention that they have Daddy issues and the thirst for attention is never quenched. You kinda summed up a lot of issues much larger than either of us in your sarcastic rant...I like sarcasm, I like daddy issues, I like beautiful women; so I liked your status.

 

If you can't trust a beautiful woman...then cultivate a taste for the ugly ones.

 

You can't change her...you can only change you.

[standtall]

Standtall - You continue to attack me and ignore the facts? Saying someone is smart or beautiful isn't a judgment; it's a fact to be analyzed. Don't give me this liberal double talk of "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." If 9 out of 10 guys look at a girl and want her, I consider he attractive. If you pass the bar exam, go to college, go to law school, and have a good practice, I think it's safe to say you are smart. The things you posted aren't judgments so much as observations in the scenario. And you have YET to give an opinion on my original question.

 

So, unless I am reading what you're saying incorrectly...People aren't crazy and don't cheat? Why is the divorce rate 54% and climbing. And not EVERY couple who cheats breaks up. Many stay together!!! Many never find out about it...You're assuming EVERY cheater gets found out and EVERY cheater gets divorced...not true...matter of fact, from the examples I previously gave, only ONE or TWO out of the FIVE got divorced!!!!!

 

And you can call me crazy all you want. Maybe I am and maybe I'm not. Maybe I am a little crazy and everyone else is a little crazy. Maybe I don't accept the currency of this country, bullcrap, as easily as many others do. Maybe I'm just tired of the BS. People call Kanye West crazy and ya know what, he probably is too. But a friend told me his recent tweet saying something like "Stop kidding yourselves people...You all lie to get what you want. People today are all the same and will do anything to get what they want." That kind of sums up what I've been trying to say. I think people in general today are shot. I think it's a selfish and greedy world. Maybe I am jaded...maybe I am crazy...maybe I have self esteem/insecutiry issues (which is ironic as you also said I am egotistical...Lol)...maybe you confuse easily.

 

But ya wanna know the truth? I think it's a bit of everything. I think I am a bit crazy, but that's fine, because "normal" people are boring and not successful. (some more judgments for you!) I am a bit insecure; I think we all are, only I'm man enough to admit it. (Read my previous posts). I think a lot of people are greedy and selfish (not all obviously, nothing is ALWAYS or NEVER). I think I am a little jaded...Hard not to be with some of the stuff I've lived and seen.

 

But you CONTINUE to ignore the question....I didn't ask for a psych eval, I asked for you to read what I wrote and give me an opinion. You're preaching about judgments, but this is a message board!!! People ASKING for judgments. On issues or situations, not on their ENTIRE BEING which unless you're secretly Sigmond Freud, you'd need a lot more hours on the couch with me before you can give me a full evalutation.

 

Just answer: What are the odds a woman would cheat on her boyfriend if some guy REALLY hit on her hard. A woman with a kind/non-confrontational personality...would she hook up with the guy to keep the peace and lie to her boyfriend?

 

WOW! ......I don't even need to respond to that.

 

I did answer your question in my first response.

 

I'll wait to see your next post titled "she is cheating on me" when you drive her to do it.

 

But I got off track based on the generally insulting and offensive nature of the dozen or so posts of yours. Let me re-iterate it....the chances of her cheating in a normal relationship..slim..1% tops. In your situation, I would say 50/50.

Edited March 6, 2012 by standtall

[SincereOnlineGuy]

 

The thing about facts are, it doesn't matter if you judge them or if you don't judge them. They are facts. All you can do is apply facts to a given situation and try to figure it out.

 

I gave facts and was asking for people to apply them.

 

 

 

Chuckles, the so-called "facts" you offered...

 

have exactly nothing to do with cheating.

 

 

If you came here sharing the foul line and center field fence measurements of the baseball diamond nearest your house, they would have no less relevance to the question you asked than do the details you gave.

[Ebony78]

Your opening post could have been written by my boyfriend. If asked to describe me, he would write everything you wrote about your girlfriend.

 

I've been told by many, my brothers included, that I am naive when it comes to guys hitting on me. I just don't see it. Random guys will strike up conversations with me on a day to day basis and I just see it as guys being friendly but if my boyfriend/brothers are to be believed, guys are never friendly to girls for no reason.

 

Last year, in the gym, a couple of guys working out nearby made conversation with me and I was polite and exchanged a few words with them before getting on with my workout. On the way out of the gym, they were just ahead of me and waited to walk with me. We were chatting about training and whatnot and they asked how long I'd been training, what I was training for, etc. They also asked if I lived nearby and how often I train. Thinking nothing of it, I gave them the town I was from and the days I trained in the gym.

 

My boyfriend flipped when I told him. He said they were asking when I trained so they could make sure they were there and have a crack at me. Of course, I thought he was over reacting.

 

But, true to form, from that day on they were always in the gym on the days that I was. They continued to chat to me until one day, one of them ran after me as I left the gym and asked for my number. I declined to give it and said I have a boyfriend that I was very happy with and though he accepted that, almost every time I saw him after that he would ask "was I single yet?" In the end I had to be really blunt and ask him to back off and leave me alone.

 

I think my biggest problem is that I myself suffer with low self esteem so really don't see myself as beautiful or pretty, even though I'm told on a daily basis, especially in my job as a nurse. I see myself as average so when guys do talk to me, the furthest thing from my mind is that they are hitting on me.

 

Despite not being able to see what's right in front of me, I would *never* cheat on my boyfriend, regardless of how aggressive someone tried hitting on me. I'm very loyal to those I love and I'm sure your girlfriend is the same