water4150 Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 Hey everyone. Real quick. Some people may know me as SkyEMTRn or skyline1627. My accounts got hacked into and they got banned. I stayed off LS to try to get my mind off of things. But its been nearly 5 months now since my BU back in October 2011. I have gotten a lot better and I have been on 1 week of NC and I have no desire to message her or anything. I deleted her facebook as I saw that she deleted our pictures. I also found out about some other details that I would have never expected that really set me off. I did confront her about it but it probably pushed her away. Long story short she “might have” had an “emotional attraction” to another guy while we were together. She basically hid that guy from me the entire relationship. No they are not together and never were. But I know she wanted to at one point but he ended up getting engaged. If anything this guy someone how said something that was hurtful and she stopped talking to him (GOOD!!). Anyway , 5 months later I still continued my work out plan and I have gained 10lbs of muscle mass. I feel good about my looks and have a lot more confidence. I have been trying to talk to other girls but even after all this my heart still loves her. I have no idea what she is up to anymore. If I could or wanted to I can easily get that information from a mutual friend. That mutual friend believes me and her belong together and she is still trying to get us together or what ever. I want no part of her actions. If she succeeds great if not oh well. I look back on the things I have done and all the stupidity and I realized so much. I see my mistakes, I fixed who I am as a person. I am still struggling on the inside and that’s because I still love her. And I’m afraid I’m always going to love her no matter what. I was still stupid enough to send her flowers on valentines day. But that was the last thing I did. I stopped begging and we went into very low contact. It makes me feel sad that 2.5 years first love and all of the sudden we mean absolutely nothing to each other. I don’t know what she’s thinking but from what I heard a while ago she wants something new. She is chasing these mechanic guys that really are not her type and would simply walk all over her. Makes me feel even more sad that a week before the BU we talked about marriage and things…week later we no longer together… Eventually she will learn and realize her biggest mistake of letting me go…but I’m not waiting around for her to realize it. I’m not necessarily moving forward away from her, but I’m moving forward in my life. I told her that everything I was doing in school was to make a good future for us. She lost a possible nurse as a husband and now wants to chase mechanics…. Right now my biggest focus is school and trying to meet new people. I even attempted to try to go on a date with another girl…but it didn’t work. She wasn’t interested and I was like “oh well”. I’m not ready to move on to another girl even after 5 months. But I have gotten better, no desire to talk to her, no desire to stalk her, no desire to hear a word from her. In fact I cringe when I hear my phone buzz because I fear its going to be a message from her. I don’t know if this is a success story or what. But I advise people…I should have done this after everyone told me to…go No contact asap. If anything atleast let her know that you care about her and that you love her…then go No contact so you don’t seem like you just got up and left. I may have pushed her to the point of no return, I may have not…but the only thing I can say is that time will tell. I have truly set her free now and I don’t know what is going to happen. But I still would love to have her back and make things right but I just have no control over that…. I apologize to everyone who tried to help me out but I was too stubborn to listen to. Especially Cmac, Chi Town D, WilsonX, CoolKID, And many others.
Chi townD Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 I'm glad to hear you're doing well. It's really good to hear that you're moving on (and I know it's hard). I would strongly suggest that you continue with your goals. Are you a nurse yet or are you still working on that? Regardless, GET IT, and you can write your own ticket. Male nurses are in HIGH demand! and it's a plus for you being in a woman dominated field! ;-) Plus there's so much more you can do with that to get fat money! Get qualified and be an ER nurse, nurse anesthetist, and great money in Nurse Practitioner!!! Skies the limit dude!
Author water4150 Posted March 1, 2012 Author Posted March 1, 2012 I'm glad to hear you're doing well. It's really good to hear that you're moving on (and I know it's hard). I would strongly suggest that you continue with your goals. Are you a nurse yet or are you still working on that? Regardless, GET IT, and you can write your own ticket. Male nurses are in HIGH demand! and it's a plus for you being in a woman dominated field! ;-) Plus there's so much more you can do with that to get fat money! Get qualified and be an ER nurse, nurse anesthetist, and great money in Nurse Practitioner!!! Skies the limit dude! So glad to hear from you! Not yet, I have one more year to go and then I'll be certified It's been quiet a struggle these passed few months but it has gotten a lot better than before. I still have my off days, actually today is one of them. But I do not act upon them and my emotions are not controlling my actions. The pain is still there but its not so severe that it makes me do crazy things. It sucks...but there's only so much you can do before you throw in the towel and give up... And I am sooo dieing to see the female nurses out there
Chi townD Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 I know what you mean! I married one!!! LOL!!! Stick with school. You know the old saying around here. The best revenge you can get is to lead a damn good life! And look at you! 10 pounds of muscle mass! Changing the way that you are. Getting set up with a career that's going to make a damn good living and increasing your chances of job security in a screwed up economy. Now, once you get set up, you have to give yourself a trip to a place that you've always want to go as a reward for all the hard work you've done. Where are you going?
Author water4150 Posted March 1, 2012 Author Posted March 1, 2012 I know what you mean! I married one!!! LOL!!! Stick with school. You know the old saying around here. The best revenge you can get is to lead a damn good life! And look at you! 10 pounds of muscle mass! Changing the way that you are. Getting set up with a career that's going to make a damn good living and increasing your chances of job security in a screwed up economy. Now, once you get set up, you have to give yourself a trip to a place that you've always want to go as a reward for all the hard work you've done. Where are you going? Yea I know exactly what you mean! I was thinking of Hawaii for two reason: 1. Its a nice good vacation spot 2. To rub it in my ex face since she always wanted to go there and I told her to wait until I graduate and get settled. And it was going to be our honeymoon trip :mad::mad::mad: Her loss!!!! Let her date mechanics and lets see if they can afford Hawaii and what not How's things with you?
Lolita_Sky Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 I hope I can be you a few months from now. I'm not begging and whinning for my ex back but It still hurts knowing that we can't be together. I should do just like you and focus on myself and my physical health. I want to get back into shape so I will start with that and work out regularly like I use to.
Author water4150 Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 I hope I can be you a few months from now. I'm not begging and whinning for my ex back but It still hurts knowing that we can't be together. I should do just like you and focus on myself and my physical health. I want to get back into shape so I will start with that and work out regularly like I use to. Go for it Lolita! You can do it! It's not easy at all. Even I'm still hurting and still want her back after all the pain she's put me through. But you have to take care of yourself first before you can move on. It's not easy. But it does get better over time. You never know what will happen in the future. But you have to be strong for yourself and make the changes for you! If anything redirect any anger you have toeards him and xoncentrate it into your work out. You'll be able to push yourself more and see faster results! I wish you the best of luck!!
leoc1973 Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 I know your hurt but I am a blue collar guy and there is nothing wrong with being a mechanic. In fact I am pretty sure a lot of them make more than nurses. Try not to be so shallow man thats crappy. These guys wake up and go work a crappy job that they probably hate so they can pay bills and eat don't they have a right to find love too? Ugh sounds like my ex(who is a nurse)
Chi townD Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 I don't think he's talking down on the profession. It's where his anger is directed at the moment. If she was showing interest in cirus clowns right now. They would probably be on his most non-favorite list.
Author water4150 Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 (edited) I don't think he's talking down on the profession. It's where his anger is directed at the moment. If she was showing interest in cirus clowns right now. They would probably be on his most non-favorite list. You're right. In fact my bro is a auto technician. It's just the people she's chasing after happen to be lets just say "not the brightest people" and she is deffinately not their type. And it just so happens that a lot of them around my area are "not the brightest people" No harm towards the profession...its the character of the people that give the stereotype. Especially when I know she deserves better than those poor character guys she's "trying" to pursue. Its just the wrong crowd of people for her. If anything she's a school/nerdy type of girl.. Nurses don't have the happiest of jobs either....Seeing people die left and right, even kids, cleaning up nasty body fluids, smelling the worse and seeing the worse of diarrhea. No job is happy unless you love what you do...then its not a job. Edited March 2, 2012 by water4150
stitch702 Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Good to see you doing good buddy...keep on keeping on
Cmac Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Glad you finally went NC, it does help. Nice to see you're doing better man.
Author water4150 Posted March 3, 2012 Author Posted March 3, 2012 Glad you finally went NC, it does help. Nice to see you're doing better man. Hey what's going on Cmac. Good to hear from you. It still sucks the hole situation...and I still wish she would come back even after all this. But I have a feeling she's gone for good. But then again, only time will tell and if she was meant to be....then she'll come back. How's everything going with you?
Cmac Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I'm doing a bit better, still have the occasional bad days, mostly brought on by having dreams about her, which sucks, but apart from that not too bad. I've been NC for about 2 months now, had a slip up back at the end of December and contacted her and I felt like everything had happened all over again, so since that happened I've resisted any urge to contact her. It really is the best way to handle things. Much like you I've decided that if things have any chance of working out then it has to be her who makes the first move, although I've long since moved past any realistic expectations of things working out now.
Author water4150 Posted March 4, 2012 Author Posted March 4, 2012 I'm doing a bit better, still have the occasional bad days, mostly brought on by having dreams about her, which sucks, but apart from that not too bad. I've been NC for about 2 months now, had a slip up back at the end of December and contacted her and I felt like everything had happened all over again, so since that happened I've resisted any urge to contact her. It really is the best way to handle things. Much like you I've decided that if things have any chance of working out then it has to be her who makes the first move, although I've long since moved past any realistic expectations of things working out now. I know exactly what you mean. Today was actually a set back for me. I didn't message her or anything. I have her deleted off facebook and her number is deleted. But just for some reason today I was flooded with good memories of us and wishing that I could have those times again. I know it's done for good and that she is not coming back, but I still want her to and that's becuase I still love her. Part of me wants to keep on hanging on to hope but what's the point. I get those dreams to. Dreaming that we get back together and how it will happen. Man do I wish I never wake up from those dreams. Really hope they come back..both of them, for you and for me. But they going to have to work hard for us back and we can't wait on that...Be strong..
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