Done with the break up, its the aftermath which is the problem

[regretnot88]

Well, I broke up with my girlfriend of about 9 months about 2 months ago. I dont want to get into why we broke up, its basically that we were quite different people, but I still loved her a lot and took care of her the best I could....never gave her a reason to complain. In the end she said that even though she still cared for me, she had started to have feelings for some guy she met at a bar and didnt want anybody's feelings to get hurt, but guess what, mine did!

 

Anyways, I didnt say much, said that, if that was the way she felt then there was nothing I could do and just left. Even though it was hard, I didn't contact her and she was the one to contact me first after about a week. That and a couple of the next conversations were completely platonic and the break up was never mentioned. Finally I asked her why she was doing this, she said that she wanted to stay friends for which I said no way and to please not call me, only if she needed anything, to which she said ok.

 

Skip forward to valentine's day, up to which point there was no contact, she messages me on fb, wishing me a happy valentine's day. I just reply back, wishing her the same. Here is where it starts to get weird, a couple of days later she calls me at 1am, n when I see the missed call in the morning, not recognizing the no, I call back, it was her, again, the conversation was general and nothing sensitive was discussed. A couple of days later she calls like 7 times from 12 to 2am, again I didnt see the calls and when I called her asking her what was up, she said that she had met a mutual friend who wanted to say hi....yeah right! Anyways, I went with it and quickly ended the conversation.

 

The very same night, this time at 3am, she calls and this time I answer, she says she wants to come over, I asked her if she was drunk(which she didnt sound like) and said I had to be up early for work and that we would talk tomorrow. The next day I called her up to ask her about it, she said she was just kidding, I said I dont appreciate this kind of games and to just be straight with me regarding what she wants, she said that she does not want anything from me, but still asks me whether my roomie would be out working that night and told me to answer her call, I said, yeah right, fat chance and hung up....she didn't call.

 

I messaged her the next day and said why do 2 people who knew each other so intimately have to play these games with each other and maybe we could work things out. She says ok, but a couple of days later, she goes and posts pictures on fb of the new guy she is apparently dating.

 

I was doing fine up until the past week or so from when she started calling again, I am confused and dont know what to make of all this, I would greatly appreciate it if someone could give me some insight on whats happening and what I should do about this.

[mike588]

Well, I broke up with my girlfriend of about 9 months about 2 months ago. I dont want to get into why we broke up, its basically that we were quite different people, but I still loved her a lot and took care of her the best I could....never gave her a reason to complain. In the end she said that even though she still cared for me, she had started to have feelings for some guy she met at a bar and didnt want anybody's feelings to get hurt, but guess what, mine did!

 

Anyways, I didnt say much, said that, if that was the way she felt then there was nothing I could do and just left. Even though it was hard, I didn't contact her and she was the one to contact me first after about a week. That and a couple of the next conversations were completely platonic and the break up was never mentioned. Finally I asked her why she was doing this, she said that she wanted to stay friends for which I said no way and to please not call me, only if she needed anything, to which she said ok.

 

Skip forward to valentine's day, up to which point there was no contact, she messages me on fb, wishing me a happy valentine's day. I just reply back, wishing her the same. Here is where it starts to get weird, a couple of days later she calls me at 1am, n when I see the missed call in the morning, not recognizing the no, I call back, it was her, again, the conversation was general and nothing sensitive was discussed. A couple of days later she calls like 7 times from 12 to 2am, again I didnt see the calls and when I called her asking her what was up, she said that she had met a mutual friend who wanted to say hi....yeah right! Anyways, I went with it and quickly ended the conversation.

 

The very same night, this time at 3am, she calls and this time I answer, she says she wants to come over, I asked her if she was drunk(which she didnt sound like) and said I had to be up early for work and that we would talk tomorrow. The next day I called her up to ask her about it, she said she was just kidding, I said I dont appreciate this kind of games and to just be straight with me regarding what she wants, she said that she does not want anything from me, but still asks me whether my roomie would be out working that night and told me to answer her call, I said, yeah right, fat chance and hung up....she didn't call.

 

I messaged her the next day and said why do 2 people who knew each other so intimately have to play these games with each other and maybe we could work things out. She says ok, but a couple of days later, she goes and posts pictures on fb of the new guy she is apparently dating.

 

I was doing fine up until the past week or so from when she started calling again, I am confused and dont know what to make of all this, I would greatly appreciate it if someone could give me some insight on whats happening and what I should do about this.

 

She may be using you as a backup guy if things don't work out with the new b/f. Why did you tell her to call you if she needed anything?

 

You wonder why she's calling you? you opened the door for her calls now close it...she's playing you!

 

Ignore any new calls....don't return any missed calls...your feeling got hurt you say...well you keep letting it happen.

[regretnot88]

I agree with what you guys are saying, I still have feelings for her and if there was ever the opportunity to get back with her I would consider it, but the whole part about me telling her to call me if she ever needed anything was more of a polite gesture than anything, I didn't want to sound like a child and tell her not to contact me at all. What I really dont understand are the midnight calls and why would she say she wanted to come to my place at 3am when she appears to be doing good with her new b/f?