JustHot Posted June 7, 2004 Posted June 7, 2004 If a man is "in love" with a woman, would he still cheat? This is a question that many women wonder about. Does love have anything to do with the other, or is cheating a form of acting out that doesn't mean the man's not in love. The dishonesty and energy it takes would seem he is not, but I am aware of men in so-called relationships who behave this way behind their girlfriends' backs. From a man's perspective, would you go looking to cheat if you are in love?
Baby Beaver Posted June 7, 2004 Posted June 7, 2004 Interesting post! In my experience I would definiately never cheat on a bloke that I'm truly in love with. In the past I have cheated on boyfriends I had ( not sleeping with other guys-just snogging them in a club or something), HOWEVER.. I have been with my current boyfriend for over 2years and I love him sooo much that I would never even contemplate going behind his back.
iamtastee Posted June 7, 2004 Posted June 7, 2004 Good Question. I often wonder about this also because the answer seems to differ betwixt the sexes. I have male friends who would swear on a Bible that they LOVE their girlfriends and would never leave them,but still boink other women from time to time. The "variety" hypothesis-a bunch of mumbo jumbo to me. My female friends and I have cheated on boyfriends,and though we may have been infatuated with them,it was not the big L-O-V-E. I can't bring myself to cheat on someone I am deeply in love with. If we begin to have problems,rather than sleep with someone else, I break it off and THEN test other waters. But if I'm not in love--that's a total different story.
sweetie7 Posted June 7, 2004 Posted June 7, 2004 I don't know...my very serious, extremely devoted bf just cheated on me, told me right away and said he really wanted to make things work. Then he randomly said he couldn't make things work but he still loved me etc. etc. I kinda feel like he does still love me but is completely freaked out that he cheated on me and thinks that means we shouldn't be together. I promised myself I could never forgive a cheater but bc he has been such a wonderful guy, I know I could forgive him. But he won't even give me the chance. Who feels pathetic now?
LikkleMissConfused Posted June 18, 2004 Posted June 18, 2004 I was with someone for a number of years. Helped him out when his family didn't care about him, my mum mothered him and took are of him. He stayed at my house with my maa. Then he decides to bring various women to the house that we bought together. I found all this out two years after. He harrases me and threantens me. He even joined the same gym that I go to with his new GF and grabbed hold of me and threantened me there. He kept on telling me that he wants me back, he loves me but he was never able to tell me the truth about what he had been up to. Thats because he was putting persoanl adds in the paper and meeting these women like that. Whilst I was planning our engagment. After all this time because he got banned from the gym and warned by the police he smashed my mothers windows in!?!?!? Did he ever love me? I don't think so? Men they are deceitful. They cheat because it come natural to them. Women on the other hand cheat because there is something missing but at least we can talk about it. Yes there are honest and nice men out there but I think they find it so difficult to talk that they get themselves in such a mess that they can't even think about what they have done. He took my love for granted and when I left he came to me crying. But why do these things in the first place. I have now found out he was doing it all the way through the relationship. B*S*ARDS!!! He was doing it when I had lost my dad he passed away and he was at it. I hope he rots in hell. It may sound bitter but what amazes me is he feels hard done by when he has done all this himself.
Phelly Posted June 18, 2004 Posted June 18, 2004 I think it depends on the situation. If a man is in a happy relationship I think he will not cheat. But when things start to break down, it becomes all too easy. How much things have to break down before it becomes possible for him to cheat I guess can depend on how much he really loves his woman. And then of course he has to be in a position where its easy for him to cheat. But there's some times when a guy is just not in his right state of mind. Maybe he's horny/drunk and getting hit on by a very attractive woman while his wife/gf is out of town. Now a part of him should still turn her away, but if a relationship is going through a bumpy road I wouldn't die from surprise if he cheated once. obviously, any type of cheating at all should lead me to question a man's love for his woman. But cheating doesn't automatically equal no love. Because guys are just horny. And if they're put into the right (or should i say WRONG) situation, it can be difficult for him to not cheat. But his love should ultimately stop him. It's like Chris Rock said: Men can stop chasing sex, and even that requires some rehab. But when sex chases us we can't run that fast.
kirkyswife Posted June 18, 2004 Posted June 18, 2004 Here's a thought, Why don't those people who are not happy with their current situations communicate their dissatisfaction with their present situation and take the necessary steps to remove him or herself from their shared environment PRIOR to engaging in a new situation?
thecake Posted June 18, 2004 Posted June 18, 2004 I have a co-worker/friend up in NYC who is in his mid-fifties - he has one of those fairy tale lives....great job, three houses, a thirty year marriage, great wife, a child...even grand children. He LOVES his life and I admit I love hearing about it as it seems so unreal sometimes...like the movies....BUT he'll cheat on her with a sexy thirty year old in a New York minute. He can separate sex and love as most men can from what I hear. He's also said he treats his wife so wonderfully that she would never suspect he has his little flings. He loves the attention he gets from younger women....he's a good looking, successful guy. And, this is a GREAT, very family oriented man! It's this type of guy who scares me...the "good" guys...not the obvious a'holes who treat their women like crap. Of course, I love to suggest to him that his stay at home/never worked a day in her life wife is probably having an affair with the gardener/pool guy...he simply refuses to believe that is a possibility...she would NEVER cheat on him. Why do men who cheat on their sweet wives think their wives wouldn't do the same?
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