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She calls me self aborbed and says I only spend time with her at my convenience?!

xdarkn3ss

By xdarkn3ss
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xdarkn3ss Member

xdarkn3ss

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Per the suggestion of another forum member I am moving this post to the dating section in hopes of finding some answers.

 

I have been with my girlfriend for 8 months now, she's 25 and I am 24, she lives over 30 miles out of my way (the complete opposite direction of where I work) and I have been staying with her, I think since we got together there have been maybe 8 or 9 nights that I wasn't with her. She refuses to let me pay rent despite numerous attempts to do so, our basic living situation works though, she pays the rent, I pay for the movies, eating out etc. so it's by no means even but I am not mooching off her.

 

I drive the extra mileage because I'd rather be with her than anywhere else, I buy this girl flowers all the time just because I love to see her smile, I surprise her with gifts and concerts and all sorts of things on a regular basis. I've gone out of my way to show her I care at every opportunity that presents itself. Her family is a lot closer than mine ever has been, she has taken me to many family functions to which I attended to make a presence and let them know I'm serious about this girl. She has only ever gone out of her to be with me on a handful of occasions, she drove to my residence a couple times, she took me car shopping when I didn't have any other ride, and on occasion she has been the driver when we go to comedy clubs and stuff like that. Anytime she drives I offer her gas money, more often then not she'll take it and that's not a problem at all because I feel it's owed.

 

Last weekend she took me car shopping, on saturday I told her once I got a car I was going to take my extra cash and go get some tattoo work done, she was perfectly fine with this on saturday, I didn't end up buying a car saturday but ended up buying one on sunday. For some reason this pissed her off when she found out I was going to the tattoo shop after i bought the car, however I ended up cancelling that because of her attitude because I felt she wanted me around for some reason. I go home and she accuses me of altering her plans to go to the park that day and acts like I screwed up her life, by the end of the night she had calmed down and was fine.

 

The next morning all hell breaks loose and I'm being accused of being self-centered, only ever being around when it's convenient for me, and only thinking of myself, she told me not to come home even though almost all of my stuff is there...pardon my lack of a better term but wtf? :eek:

Edited by xdarkn3ss
xpaperxcutx Established Member

xpaperxcutx

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I'm guessing this has been building up for a while now and it's the recent events that's causing her to freak. My bet is she was never okay with much of things that has been happening but because she felt she was a good girlfriend, she's went out of her way to let you live there, and help you shop for a car.

 

She thinks you're being ungrateful.

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InJest Established Member

InJest

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Break up with her. She's clearly looking for a reason to break up with you. Beat her to the punch, and watch her attitude change. When you go over to her place, start with the infamous line, "We need to talk.". Then just tell her that she seems like she's changed from the girl you met, so you think it's best if you two break up. She'll cave to whatever you want.

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Untouchable_Fire Established Member

Untouchable_Fire

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Sounds like PMS.

 

Not an excuse. Her behavior is unacceptable.

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xdarkn3ss Member

xdarkn3ss

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Glad I'm not the only one who finds it unacceptable!

 

I tend to agree with Injest, I think she's looking for any kind of reason just to end it. The thing I can't figure out is why...then again sometimes the reason why isn't even rational anyways.

Untouchable_Fire Established Member

Untouchable_Fire

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Glad I'm not the only one who finds it unacceptable!

I tend to agree with Injest, I think she's looking for any kind of reason just to end it. The thing I can't figure out is why...then again sometimes the reason why isn't even rational anyways.

 

Meh, you can't really tell. I'd say it's just as likely that she is testing your boundaries to see what you will put up with.

 

All I can say is... Don't put up with it.

 

Whatever her personal problems are... she cannot be allowed to act like a brat. You certainly need to move out. Women SUCK when they feel like they have the upperhand in a relationship.

FrustratedStandards Established Member

FrustratedStandards

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Ugh.

 

This pisses me off. How is someone like me single and psycho women like this actually have men drive tens of miles for them?

 

Ridiculous.

  • Like 5
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xdarkn3ss Member

xdarkn3ss

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Meh, you can't really tell. I'd say it's just as likely that she is testing your boundaries to see what you will put up with.

 

All I can say is... Don't put up with it.

 

Whatever her personal problems are... she cannot be allowed to act like a brat. You certainly need to move out. Women SUCK when they feel like they have the upperhand in a relationship.

 

never thought of it from that angle before but it makes a lot of sense. I'm planning on picking up all my **** tonight =\

 

@FrustratedStandards - don't trip she's gonna learn that I won't drive out of my way for her ever again haha

silvermercy Established Member

silvermercy

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At first instance, I'd also say break up with her. On the other hand, I'd need her own input as well as right now, I'm seeing only one side of the argument. Have you asked her EXACTLY what has been bothering her all this time? Did you get any subtle signs? It must have been gradual as others said, and this was the last straw for her it seems.

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xdarkn3ss Member

xdarkn3ss

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At first instance, I'd also say break up with her. On the other hand, I'd need her own input as well as right now, I'm seeing only one side of the argument. Have you asked her EXACTLY what has been bothering her all this time? Did you get any subtle signs? It must have been gradual as others said, and this was the last straw for her it seems.

 

I have not had a chance to talk to her, we both work 8 hours a day and this just came about monday, and I have not been there since. She asked me the last 2 nights if I was busy because she wanted to talk over the phone but then today she refused to talk over the phone and wants to talk in person, we are supposed to sit down and talk tonight (I'll probably just be packing while talking though because it's pointless for me to stay there if I'm not welcome) when I do I'll make sure to post her exact reply though.

 

I think I've narrowed it down to one of a couple scenarios though

 

A. She's been building animosity for a long time and this is just it coming to a head

 

B. She's feeling really guilty about something she did and is using any excuse she can find to justify it in her own mind

 

C. She was under a lot of pressure from something else and just snapped for no reason (this I find to be the least likely and/or believable seeing as how she hasn't said anything remorseful as of yet)

 

Either way this goes tonight I'll be alright, I've had my life fall completely apart in much worse ways before and rebuilt it plenty of times :laugh:

spookie Established Member

spookie

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I dunno, it's a little psycho but surely all of us can say we've done worse? I would not consider this a reason to end it, if she was apologetic.

  • 2 weeks later...
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xdarkn3ss Member

xdarkn3ss

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I would not consider this a reason to end it, if she was apologetic.

 

Exactly my thoughts, and actually she did apologize. She attributed her rash thought process to being under a lot of stress from her family and her two jobs. So I let it go and we moved past it :cool:

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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I say break up. You have the right to get a tattoo without her freaking out. This kind of behavior will only get worse until you have emasculated yourself trying to please her.

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xdarkn3ss Member

xdarkn3ss

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I think your woman is pretty useless without sex.

 

...I never mentioned anything about sex lol

 

There's plenty of that regardless haha

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xdarkn3ss Member

xdarkn3ss

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I say break up. You have the right to get a tattoo without her freaking out. This kind of behavior will only get worse until you have emasculated yourself trying to please her.

 

I guess maybe I'm a little bit more understanding...but only to a point. I'm more of a 'fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me' kinda guy...ie. if it ever happened again there would be absolutely no hesitation before I left.

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