newguyhere Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 The other day I met up with an ex (the one who caused me to sign up to Loveshack lol). We have been talking through text and email for a while and decided to try hanging out. It was the first time I was in her house in more than a couple years but it felt like I was there everyday since. We had a great time and laughed a lot. It was great.I was surprised to see that she still had all the teddy bears I had bought her over the years while we were together. I guess I thought she would have tossed them out/gave them away or put them away in a box somewhere. The first bear I gave her was always her favorite that she would cuddle with on her couch. It was still on the floor by her couch When I left her place, she suggested doing it again and I agreed and told her I had fun. She said the same. Since that night however, she will not answer my text or emails anymore. I think she still has feelings for me. Maybe not good feelings but hurting feelings. But even after 3 years apart, I don't think I'm in the indifferent category yet. I hate that I may be still causing her pain
smudge21 Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 Did you leave her or she leave you? If she left you then you should play it cool as it's her that needs to earn your love, trust & respect back. If you left her, then you need to give her time as you have some work to do and you have to run at her pace. Either way, there's no set rules in this, you can only do what you think is right. Just remember though that things did end for a reason and unless that reason has been dealt with, then it's still there and may have a chance to cause problems again. Hope it works out either way, whether you stay friends or become more.
Author newguyhere Posted March 1, 2012 Author Posted March 1, 2012 She ended the relationship with me but has said that I ended it with her :/ Either way I have been in another relationship since the breakup but she has not. I tried very hard to get her back for a while after the relationship ended and just pushed her away further. The last time I told her I still loved her and wanted her back was back in 2010. I'm at the point where I just want her to be happy even if it means I have to stay out of her life. I guess I thought she would feel similar by now.
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 She ended the relationship with me but has said that I ended it with her :/ Either way I have been in another relationship since the breakup but she has not. I tried very hard to get her back for a while after the relationship ended and just pushed her away further. The last time I told her I still loved her and wanted her back was back in 2010. I'm at the point where I just want her to be happy even if it means I have to stay out of her life. I guess I thought she would feel similar by now. You weren't with the new girl while hanging out with your ex, were you? Just wondering. I never throw out a teddy bear, they are too cute. Don't read too much into it. She ended it; it's over. Go forth and heal. Why do people feel the need to 'hang out' with their exes???
Ajax Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 I'm somewhat skeptical of this situation. She ended it but says you did? How's that work? It sounds as if she might be in denial over what happened during your relationship and breakup. Or at the very least, you both have different perspectives of your mutual past. That's not a strong position to reconnect from. I'd also question the part where she hasn't been in a relationship since you broke up. How do you know? Are you just taking her word for it, because what she says doesn't seem to be worth a lot.
Author newguyhere Posted March 1, 2012 Author Posted March 1, 2012 The break up was my fault for sure but I didn't break up with her. I do accept the fact that I caused the relationship to fail. I guess because I caused the mess I can see that the break up was all me. Its hard to explain what happened. It didn't end in a big fight by any means. I tried to get her back & also made sure that she didn't want me back before I started dating again.We were not hanging out when I was in another relationship but she did initiate contact again during that time. We have been having friendly conversations every few days since early/mid 2011 via text and facebook. My new relationship ended a few months later that year. We continued to talk for another 6 months or so then she asked me to hang out and we did. We laughed and had fun. At no point since 2010 had we talked about our old relationship, but I did still have feelings for a long time after it ended. Just kept it to myself.
Author newguyhere Posted March 1, 2012 Author Posted March 1, 2012 I'd also question the part where she hasn't been in a relationship since you broke up. How do you know? Your right I should not have said that as if I were 100% sure. Its only an assumption based on her facebook (we remained facebook friends after the breakup) and mutual friends. She could very well have kept that information off facebook and maybe the mutual friends didn't think it was my business anymore, which it was not.
wilsonx Posted March 1, 2012 Posted March 1, 2012 She ended the relationship with me but has said that I ended it with her :/ GIGS is a bitch.
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