shamone222 Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 Hi, im 5 days into no contact, my girlfriend of 8 months broke up with me last week because she is unhappy. i have to give her her clothes back and get money she owes me off her but we decided someone would collect her clothes and that she would transfer the money. she knows i dont want to be meeting her i told her already its a bad idea. but she texted today asking to meet so she can get her clothes and give money in person. im not sure if i want to do this!? is it really a good idea? yes i do want her back but is this too soon? i really dont want to go back to square one im trying to heal please some advice!!?
Philosoraptor Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 If you don't feel comfortable then let her know you'd like to continue with your prior arrangements. If you do go in person then keep the conversation on the subject of the transfer, wish her well, and move on.
Author shamone222 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Posted February 29, 2012 i was ok the way we ended, i handled it very well and agreed with the breakup. so i dont want to sound like im hurt, i want to sound and look like im mature about it. so i think i might just 'bite the bullet' and meet her to give her stuff back, go for a quick coffee, keep conversation fun and cheerfull for 20mins, then wish her the best and leave before i run out of stuff to say THEN move on. its not until next week so im going to remain in NC until then. i told her i would let her know what day suits me. i think its best to end on a casual friendly note rather than being an angry wimp about it. anyone else agree?? the right thing to do??
Chi townD Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 okay...well, you answered your own question. Let us know how the meeting goes.
Author shamone222 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Posted February 29, 2012 right now i keep having 2nd thoughts... iv been trying to concentrate on moving on the past few days. do you think if its a better idea if i say something like i think its too soon, im trying to respect your decision and im trying to move on so maybe its a bad idea to meet up? i want to say it in the nicest possible way, with the intention of her wanting more. i know i wont get anything out of this meeting. but do you think its best to move on after meeting up with her and showing her that im happy? or just cancel the meeting and wish her the best luck?
january2011 Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 I suggest, "I'd prefer to stick to the original plans," then confirm the original plans and leave it at that. Ignore any other protests. The tempation is that you'll want to be the nice guy about this. But it sounds like this course of action is going to leave you hurt and emotional. It is your personal and emotional space. Right now, you don't have to invite her in if you don't want to. Be selfish and protect your sanity and heart. 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 Hi, im 5 days into no contact, my girlfriend of 8 months broke up with me last week because she is unhappy. i have to give her her clothes back and get money she owes me off her but we decided someone would collect her clothes and that she would transfer the money. she knows i dont want to be meeting her i told her already its a bad idea. but she texted today asking to meet so she can get her clothes and give money in person. im not sure if i want to do this!? is it really a good idea? yes i do want her back but is this too soon? i really dont want to go back to square one im trying to heal please some advice!!? No contact. Ship her stuff and be done with it. I left some stuff at my abusive ex's. I won't contact him to get it. I'll let him keep it as a souvenir.
BewitchedandBothered Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 i was ok the way we ended, i handled it very well and agreed with the breakup. so i dont want to sound like im hurt, i want to sound and look like im mature about it. so i think i might just 'bite the bullet' and meet her to give her stuff back, go for a quick coffee, keep conversation fun and cheerfull for 20mins, then wish her the best and leave before i run out of stuff to say THEN move on. its not until next week so im going to remain in NC until then. i told her i would let her know what day suits me. i think its best to end on a casual friendly note rather than being an angry wimp about it. anyone else agree?? the right thing to do?? You are making up excuses to see her. You already ended it. Send her her belongings so you can move on. She just wants her ego stroked. Where will that leave you? Hurt all over again.
Author shamone222 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Posted February 29, 2012 thanks so much for the advice, im goin to tell her that tomorrow then and leave it at that. so how shall i say it??
BewitchedandBothered Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 thanks so much for the advice, im goin to tell her that tomorrow then and leave it at that. so how shall i say it?? Don't say a thing; just overnight the package and leave it at that. You are too vulnerable to be in contact; why let her hold all the cards?
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