andypa1 Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 Hi guys, first time posting but it seems like a cracking forum where I can get some impartial help, so I hope you can! I met a girl (friend of friends) at a new year party.. we kissed, and she told me she'd always liked me (quite drunk at this point!) we swapped numbers and started seeing each other.. Now the thing is that she's rubbish at texting back or replying to calls. Normally I would take this as meaning she's just not that into me and drop it. But it seems more complex than that. When we see each other we act like boyfriend and girlfriend, she takes my hand when we're walking, make out and cuddle all night on the sofa, and we can talk for hours. What we have is amazing when we're together but rubbish when apart. She lives in Nottingham and I live in Birmingham, a 50mile commute. But I'm working in Nottingham quite a lot so get to see her! So I asked our mutural friend who told me that I was the first guy my girl had ever told her she liked, but also warned me that she gets scared of commitment/anything too full on so I should take it slow. Obviously I want to play it cool, and don't want to be the one sending message after message without reply! So I brought it up and said "Hey, I haven't managed to figure out what you need to feel comfortable talking to me, but I really hope you're OK. i'm happy to give you space while you work things out, but you know I want to see you again soon x" So I got a message straight back saying: "Thanks Andy, I'm really sorry. It's not that I haven't wanted to talk, it's just that i've been literally out of it these past two weeks. I've had sickness and a chest infection so I'm on a lot of antibiotics.. I just feel like i'd be rubbish company to talk to, and I feel like I still need to make an effort I don't want you to think i'm boring so soon. Talk soon x" So I was ok with that, and we met up a few days later and all was fine again (although she was still quite ill)! so... this week she's still been crap at texting back, but I really like her and want her to be my girlfriend.. my options: 1.) A totally over the top romantic gesture e.g. sending flowers, just turning up at her door and taking her for dinner. 2.) Just stop talking to her and wait for her to make the effort (I find this very hard) 3.)Send her a text saying that I want to get to know her more and just being honest about my feelings for her. (she knows) do you think when I see her next week, I should just ask her to be my girlfriend? I'm hoping getting her to commit might do the trick, she's not seeing any else. Any advice would be great, but i'm afraid we're too close for me to just ditch her and move on, I've really fallen for her, and she SEEMS to have fallen for me.
Author andypa1 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Posted February 29, 2012 Don't be a jerk about it.. some girls just like being chased. However I do agree with you about whoever cares less wins, but I guess I hoped that a relationship wouldn't have to be a competition in order for both of us to be happy
Author andypa1 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Posted February 29, 2012 No I have had dates with other girls, but I believe in falling for someone and not just giving up. There are always reasons for peoples actions, and I want to help sort out whatever hers are. Having looked at your other posts, you seem quite misogynistic, not cool, and I'd appreciate the advice of somebody else. Maybe having sex with her isn't my priority?
Philosoraptor Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 She does seem interested in you but you may just have different communication styles and differing expectations on how much communication is necessary for a relationship. If you feel like the relationship is in a place where it's ready for a commitment then say something when you see her in person.
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