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New girl told me i snore really loudly, this is news to me, self conscious now

RonChalant

By RonChalant
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RonChalant Established Member

RonChalant

Posted
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So last night my new "girl" told me I snore really loudly and that its annoying. This is news to me and now I'm super self conscious about sleeping

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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BTDT...

 

The best you can ask for is that it might because you were/are tired or you guys are still getting used to one another.

 

There is no BF-GF relationship worth having to go thru what she is about to put you through.

She can't sleep, or her sleep gets interrupted because she is a light sleeper and you snore enough to bother her... she has a point. a good one.. but so do you.

 

You can't change yourself and she can't herself either.. other than maybe wear ear plugs.

Getting surgery or wearing breath right strips and all the other gimmicks out there isn't worth it unless you guys were married or in a very committed relationship.

 

I would honestly just wait and see where this goes.. maybe she is light sleeping because you guys are new together but in the end if it still bothers her then you are just not compatible...

oldguy Established Member

oldguy

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And?

 

Are you a little overweight? that's a common cause. Either way you might have sleep apnea, tell your doc & maybe get it checked out.

 

It could be something as simple as a cold or sinus allergy too. Talk to your doc.

  • Like 1
veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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You didn't know you snore before? :confused:

 

My BF snores. God it's annoying but I nudge him and he rolls over and it usually stops. Tell her to nudge you and you will roll onto your side or something. Try the nose strips.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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There is no BF-GF relationship worth having to go thru what she is about to put you through.

 

??? No BF-GF relationship is worth what she is about to put him through?

 

Huh? Why are you making it sound like there's fault to be had here, and that said fault would be hers? :confused:

  • Like 1
Ursa Established Member

Ursa

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OP, don't worry about it too much. I have compared my husband's snoring to the sound of a warthog going through a series of trips and falls, but I married him anyway...and I don't think I put him through too much, other than the occasional joke. Get a white noise machine, or just put on a fan at night if it's warm enough. Takes enough of the sound edge off that most people can sleep through the warthog concert, no muss no fuss.

 

You should get checked for sleep apnea, btw. Your gf's light sleeping could turn out to be good for your health.

  • Like 2
Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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??? No BF-GF relationship is worth what she is about to put him through?

 

Huh? Why are you making it sound like there's fault to be had here, and that said fault would be hers? :confused:

 

Please read the rest of the lines underneath what you quoted..

I actually explained that she has a good reason to be irritated.

 

My point is that there is nothing he can do to remedy the problem.. she is already upset about it and will have him try all the over the counter deals or he will feel that he needs to do that to deal with the snoring problem and none of them will work..

 

They just started dating and it isn't worth it.. he can't change his snoring without something major and she can't fix her light sleeping issue..

 

so.. maybe next time read the whole post.. :)

serial muse Established Member

serial muse

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You didn't know you snore before? :confused:

 

My thought too. Really, no one ever told you that?

 

Makes me wonder what your "snoring" consists of. Some people are super light sleepers, and to them, just breathing = snoring. To me, snoring is when the person makes gutteral and deeper noises that are much more disruptive and jarring than simple in-and-out breaths. It's hard to believe that you could be a really loud snorer and nobody ever told you. Do you live alone?

 

It's not something to feel so self-conscious about, anyway - lots of people snore. My exH was a snorer, of the sawing wood variety, and it was VERY loud. I would (gently!) nudge or ask him to roll on his side; that usually (although not always) worked.

 

As others have said, from a health standpoint, it's certainly worth checking yourself out for sleep apnea. Assuming that's not the issue, you could just ask her to give you a nudge.

 

OP, don't worry about it too much. I have compared my husband's snoring to the sound of a warthog going through a series of trips and falls

 

Edited just to laugh at this. :laugh:

Edited by serial muse
  • Like 1
Cypress25 Established Member

Cypress25

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My point is that there is nothing he can do to remedy the problem.. she is already upset about it and will have him try all the over the counter deals or he will feel that he needs to do that to deal with the snoring problem and none of them will work..

 

Snoring is actually a medical problem. It's so common that people dismiss it as insignificant, but it's usually a symptom of an underlying problem and it only gets worse with age. There are treatment options for snoring, it doesn't have to be surgery.

 

They just started dating and it isn't worth it.. he can't change his snoring without something major and she can't fix her light sleeping issue..

 

If he snores that loud, he's going to have this problem with future girlfriends too, so he might as well deal with it now. Unless he plans on breaking up with every girl who is annoyed by his snoring. Anyone who snores on a regular basis should see a doctor about it, for their own health.

FitChick Established Member

FitChick

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You can find devices similar to this one. Everyone needs their sleep. You don't have to sleep in the same room.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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so.. maybe next time read the whole post.. :)

 

I did read the whole post. My question still stands.

 

You think that SHE is going to PUT HIM THROUGH something? And that NO BF-GF relationship is WORTH what SHE is going to PUT HIM THROUGH?

 

Every single last one of my BFs has snored, and I told them, and neither their snoring or my occasional inability to sleep had anything to do with the demise of those relationships.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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So last night my new "girl" told me I snore really loudly and that its annoying. This is news to me and now I'm super self conscious about sleeping

Own your sleep. She can deal. She probably snores too, just not loud enough to wake you over your own.

 

I recall finally resorting to earplugs in my M, as I refused to sleep in another bedroom. That worked. My exW had the surgery, did the nose strips, whatever. She still snored. I dealt with it.

Janesays Established Member

Janesays

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Gah. Thank goodness neither I or my boyfriend snore. We are both super light sleepers. My ex used to snore. But he also used to fall asleep on the couch. I learned to quit waking him and asking him to come to bed. Problem solved.

Els Established Member

Els

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BTDT...

 

The best you can ask for is that it might because you were/are tired or you guys are still getting used to one another.

 

There is no BF-GF relationship worth having to go thru what she is about to put you through.

She can't sleep, or her sleep gets interrupted because she is a light sleeper and you snore enough to bother her... she has a point. a good one.. but so do you.

 

You can't change yourself and she can't herself either.. other than maybe wear ear plugs.

Getting surgery or wearing breath right strips and all the other gimmicks out there isn't worth it unless you guys were married or in a very committed relationship.

 

I would honestly just wait and see where this goes.. maybe she is light sleeping because you guys are new together but in the end if it still bothers her then you are just not compatible...

 

I disagree. It's always beneficial to try and treat snoring, either symptomatically or the underlying causes. If he does indeed snore, there will be other girls in the future who will suffer for it - they may bear with it better than the current one, but the issue stands. Also, it's medically beneficial to the snorer to prevent it, because snoring actually means that the airflow while sleeping is interrupted, and that can lead to more serious complications (sleep apnea, etc).

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Very true, IMO. ExW did an in-patient sleep study prior to her surgery, which is what, along with a MRI, indicated a surgical solution. She got a bit of a 'nose job' as a side benefit. Her snoring lessened and she related that she slept more soundly and felt more refreshed in the morning.

 

Some of my male friends use CPAP machines for sleep, due to snoring and sleep apnea. One can imagine being the spouse of a CPAP user. Earplugs and a white noise machine. Again, people deal with it. That's how relationships work. It's a team effort.

oldguy Established Member

oldguy

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Posted (edited)

A CPAP machine has got to make you think "there must be a better way". I've heard a few say they made a huge difference but OMG! really? that contraption is the best we can come up with!?:laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

My wife tells me that since I lost some weight I don't snore anymore. that could also be because I don't have to sleep on my back all night long anymore. Bottom line is we are both sleeping better.

 

Over weight, apnea, airway obstruction, enlarged adenoids, sinus problems or a cold can all cause snoring. The snoring might be annoying for your bed partner but it could also be a sign of a health issue that should be addressed.

Edited by oldguy
Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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The snoring might be annoying for your bed partner but it could also be a sign of a health issue that should be addressed.

 

I agree with you.. but this OP in in the dating section and not in the health section and as referenced isn't a LTR.

 

She has mentioned it to him more than once and is irritated over it..

They just started dating...

What should he do, consider the fact that most people snore somewhat and snoring isn't always a health problem.. should he go get checked out or should he start all the over the counter remedy's for a girl he just started dating ?

zengirl Established Member

zengirl

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My stepfather snores like a horse (you can hear him in the NEXT room) and my mother is the lightest sleeper I know. They're still going strong, almost 20 years later. I really don't think it's much of a dealbreaker if a relationship otherwise works.

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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When I was dating.. if I had just started dating a girl and after we started sleeping over I noticed that she needed to lose 15-20 lbs should I tell her that she needs to lose the weight because it would be healthier for her ?

 

Of course not... first I don't know her well enough to be making health choices for her, it is her body her choice at this point..

Maybe on down the line after we are in a LTR I can mention it to her without stepping over her personal boundaries but certainly if you just start dating a person there is a certain amount of personal health boundaries that shouldn't be stepped over..

 

A person should respect some personal boundaries.

 

That is kinda been my point.. even though I haven't been writing the words right, since at this point it is a dating issue not a health issue.

serial muse Established Member

serial muse

Posted
Posted
When I was dating.. if I had just started dating a girl and after we started sleeping over I noticed that she needed to lose 15-20 lbs should I tell her that she needs to lose the weight because it would be healthier for her ?

 

Of course not... first I don't know her well enough to be making health choices for her, it is her body her choice at this point..

Maybe on down the line after we are in a LTR I can mention it to her without stepping over her personal boundaries but certainly if you just start dating a person there is a certain amount of personal health boundaries that shouldn't be stepped over..

 

A person should respect some personal boundaries.

 

That is kinda been my point.. even though I haven't been writing the words right, since at this point it is a dating issue not a health issue.

 

Hi Art...I didn't get the sense from the OP that she had told him this more than once. It sounded like she just brought it up for the first time, which honestly to me is a reasonable thing to do.

 

I got the sense that the OP was just self-conscious about it because no one had told him that he snored before. I don't think he needs to take dramatic steps or anything - and he didn't say she wanted him to. All she did was tell him. I think the issue here is the self-consciousness...as long as she wasn't mean about it (was she, OP???) then I think it's completely fair to tell a person "hey, you were snoring, can you roll over next time?"

 

Not that big of a deal, really...

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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Not that big of a deal, really...

 

I agree SM.. you are right.. the OP did just say that she told him yesterday...

oldguy Established Member

oldguy

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Posted
I agree with you.. but this OP in in the dating section and not in the health section and as referenced isn't a LTR.

 

She has mentioned it to him more than once and is irritated over it..

They just started dating...

What should he do, consider the fact that most people snore somewhat and snoring isn't always a health problem.. should he go get checked out or should he start all the over the counter remedy's for a girl he just started dating ?

He should be proactive & start a process that will address the issue of his snoring.

Cypress25 Established Member

Cypress25

Posted
Posted
should he go get checked out or should he start all the over the counter remedy's for a girl he just started dating ?

 

No, he should do it for himself. Snoring is treatable and he would benefit from it in the end. And then he wouldn't be self-conscious about sleeping with women.

 

When I was dating.. if I had just started dating a girl and after we started sleeping over I noticed that she needed to lose 15-20 lbs should I tell her that she needs to lose the weight because it would be healthier for her ?

 

The difference is, the OP didn't know he was snoring. He was completely unaware until this girl brought it to his attention. If a woman is overweight, I promise you, she is already well aware of the problem. She doesn't need to be told. Besides, it's a lot less insulting to tell someone they snore than to tell someone they need to lose weight.

shorty7 Established Member

shorty7

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for a long time, and I know I started noticing the snoring more when he gained weight (30+ lbs). Over time, I got over it, and know to roll over and pinch his nose for a bit if the snoring disturbs me. I think it's one of those things you might just have to "grow" to be okay with or accept. But then again, what might be a "deal breaker" in the short-run probably isn't so if it's something that came up in the midst of a long-term committed relationship.

 

If the OP is self-conscious about it, he'd seek treatment. But if I were him, I'd assess if the "new" girl is worth that. There are women that exist that can sleep through incredulous amounts of noise (or she also snores just as loudly), and sleep is one of those things that unfortunately does contribute to happiness. If not, the least I can say is that at least a better slept individual would be able to hold on to his/her sanity a little better.

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