Lucky555 Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 My bf and I have been together for a year and three months. I have a full time job and so does he. I make enough to support myself. However my bf does too..but he has investments which make him poor! Just recently he purchased another investment. I'm worried about the future. We have talked about marriage and kids. However he knows I want this. But I wonder if he is just talking about it so I don't have a reason to break it off. Lately he won't buy me anything. I buy food for our dinners when we see each other 3-4 times a week. On valentines day I didnt get flowers, candy, or anything special..he just asked me what I wanted for dinner. He also got me lingerie..which to me isn't special..I know he bought it off eBay (used)! It had no tags and vs was not selling this item. His recent purchase for an investment didn't involve me. He didn't ask my opinion or ask how it would affect our future. Does it sound like he is invested? He claims to still want to be with me..he never has actually said "I love you" but he has wrote his cards saying "love you". I'm just confused now. He claims to want a future but makes decisions that affect any possibly future we have by setting himself back financially. So I sometimes wonder if he in fact wants a future because his actions say he is thinking about himself and not we. Lately he has not been really contacting me either. This past weekend he left Me for half a day at his place alone while he ran errands..he said I didn't need to go and to wait for him. It's just really confusing for me. He claims e wants a future and implies its with me but he does everything solo! How can I really tell if his is just telling me what I want to hear. I felt like it was the end of our relationship recently by this behavior but he told me not to doubt him and that it was in my head. He claimed if he didn't want to be with me he wouldn't make Time. But I do have doubts considering all the above!
darkmoon Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 "I buy food for our dinners" Just ask him to please pay half, show him a bill; but he just sounds a bit young from what you wrote, chasing bad investments and all, just a bit young and immature.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Do you guys live together? It isn't that he doesn't " love you" it's more of the fact that he's acting in a way that contradicts the stabilities of a relationship- financial stability and emotional stability. And also men generally don't buy lingeries for their SOs without there being benefits for themselves. If he had simply bought you a cup with hearts on it, you'd think it was sweet. But the idea of buying underwear off ebay just sounds sleazy so I understand where you are coming from. I wouldn't question his feelings for you. I'd just question his career moves and where he sees himself five years from now. 1
Author Lucky555 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Posted February 29, 2012 Do you guys live together? It isn't that he doesn't " love you" it's more of the fact that he's acting in a way that contradicts the stabilities of a relationship- financial stability and emotional stability. And also men generally don't buy lingeries for their SOs without there being benefits for themselves. If he had simply bought you a cup with hearts on it, you'd think it was sweet. But the idea of buying underwear off ebay just sounds sleazy so I understand where you are coming from. I wouldn't question his feelings for you. I'd just question his career moves and where he sees himself five years from now. Yes that is what I mean by the lingerie..it was not for me it was for him. How he wanted me to look :/. I understand but I would have loved something that was sweet like a bubble bath and wine set up or for him to say "I love you" and a nice emotional gesture.
Arikel Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 USED lingerie? I'd rather have a simple gesture like a home cooked instant noodle meal ... 2
FitChick Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 Tell him to buy you gold and silver coins from now on, since he is into investing. At least when you dump him or he dumps you, you will have something of value. Otherwise, make him pay for half of your household expenses if he is living with you. That's what a roommate would do. 1
Eddie Edirol Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 If he is experienced in having relationships with women, then he is showing how he really feels, which isnt good. If he isnt experienced, then I think he is screwing up and doesnt know it. Also he might not be good at giving gifts, or he might not like giving gifts, which I can relate to, because I hate gifts in general. I dont like to feel forced to have to give something just because everyone else says you should. I just hope youre not leaving anything out that YOU are doing to make him behave like this.
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 This is identical to the thread you started earlier this month. Are you expecting different advice?
veggirl Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 I think he is slowly easing out of this relationship, keeping you around a) for the mealticket and b) companionship/sex. I'd ask him one time, firmly and seriously, where he sees this in the future. Any wishy washy answer is unacceptable. Why do you continue to pay for everything? Just tell him "I can't pay for all our dinners. We'll have to eat in tonight"
Eddie Edirol Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 This is identical to the thread you started earlier this month. Are you expecting different advice? True dat. Lucky, this is the way he is since October, hes not going to change. So you can admit that you dont want to be alone, or you can stand up for yourself, for once and bail on him.
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