ItsJustTheWayItIs Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 and I'm one of you. I found this site lastnight and was glad to find a place that I could read stories about others, write about my own pain, and perhaps get good advice. I decided I couldn't take it anymore and I told him this on Saturday. I just thought I would move and we would go our own ways....in pain, but with some respect. Since then he has stolen my wedding rings, my monte blanc pen (no I'm not wealthy it was a gift), my extra car keys and smashed my nice sunglasses and hid them. He has also put up a dating profile on a particular site (yes I was nosy and searched). He has called me a whore (no cheating), and has finally left the house until I move, which he thinks is on Friday (said he'd be back for that), but is really scheduled for Thursday. I left one other time but didn't take my things...I headed out to AZ to clear my head and was on a job assignment. I came back because he promised me therapy, he would change,.....blah blah blah. This is what happened....he has a daughter that is 10 and I really like her and she likes me also. We have her every weekend and lots throughout the year. He does not ever take me anywhere...out to eat, to visit friends, to church...nothing, but every weekend..he does all those things with her daughter and more. Am I jealous? At first I though I was until I realised that no, I wasn't...something just wasn't right. I remember one time we were lying in bed and she was standing on the side talking to us and he kept trying to put my hand on his hard penis (under the covers, but still, really????), he has tried to have sex with me under the covers with her in the same room (sneaky, not sheets off), still the answer is NO, hell he slept with her in the same bed until she was almost 10 and the only reason he quit is because I told him I thought it was sick and wouldn't marry him, he asks her where she wants to go, what they are going to do, and even what she would like to eat during her stay....and he drives drunk with her in the car...that really bothers me. He has broken plans with me I can not tell you how many times when his ex wants him to watch his daughter...I mean big plans. We only had a two day honeymoon in a cabin because that was all the time he had because he had to pick her up for the weekend. It goes on and on.....I'm tired and I think he has feeling for his child that are not 'normal'. I don't want to sound sick, but I think he is in love with her and has transferred emotions to her that are not healthy. Especially for her. I relocated to his town because he owns a home he is renovating. We have no friends, no hobbies, no nothing......not unless its the weekend. When I've asked him about this he just puts it back on me or just says 'I don't know'. I have never even met his family and they only live 20 minutes from us. I've only met two of his friends, its like he keeps me isolated from them. I feel like the Mon-Thurs wife and his daughter is his 'real wife'. I'm just going on and on....I'm sorry if none of this makes sense but my mind is not clear. There is SO much more.....I just wanted out and he has turned this into a 'hate fest'. I'm feeling a little self pity right now, lol. Thanks for reading.....
elfman Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Hello, I am sorry you're going through this. I myself am going through a reparation and maybe a divorce in the near future. I read your story and it seems to me like your H went back on a promise to change the things that were bothering you, but more importantly, he has taken to stealing from you and damaging your personal things... this, imho, is a clear sign that things could get a lot worse before they get better. Being a man, I can give you an opinion from the "other side" of the dime. I have been miserable for at least 2 years and, during that time, have felt like literally "Killing" my wife, I have been extremely upset... HOWEVER, I have never taken any violent action towards her, (I am not by nature a Violent man, but have seen my share of fighting when I was a little younger, suffice it to say I can defend myself physically if the occasion calls for it). Him stealing your rings and damaging your property is a Red Flag that you have to seriously consider. My advice is definitely follow through on your plan to get out of the house one day before schedule (I am assuming you have already moved, so I hope it went well). Another thing you HAVE to consider is this "strange" relationship with his daughter. Now remember, the child is not and cannot be held accountable for the deviations of her father, but if you really ARE worried about this "fetish" and feel like the child is in danger (regardless of whether or not you care for the child) I think your duty would be to report it. It would not be the first time a father is considering abusing one of his children, and your divorce might just be the trigger he needs to take action, if he has not already. In any case, there could really be some serious mental disorder in him to make him act this way. I hope your separation goes smoothly, since it is apparently what you want, and hope you find peace and love in your life soon. Noone gets married to fail, but it happens, I am suffering from this as I type this. Best of luck. E.
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