anneredrose87 Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 (edited) I should start that I'm a little jaded with relationship and dating. Consequently, that makes me really careful with myself when I'm dating people. I've been dating two guys consistently these pass three months. They both know I'm dating around. I want to be fair to myself and the both of them by letting one of them go but I'm not sure what to do. First guy I really really like, It took a while to get me in the level to say this for again I'm very careful, his sweet, very nice, cute, and he absolutely gets me. His someone I don't really have to explain myself too, he just gets it. His challenging intellectually and we do have plenty of things in common. But I'm not sure if his really interested. Problem is his so nice I can't read if he really likes me or not. There are people that says "let it go his not interested" and "people that says his just busy give it time". Not sure who to believe. When I got a little suspicious that the first guy might not be so interested. I started to date someone else. Second guys, I like but not as much as I like the first guy. His also very sweet, very funny, and a nice guy. But we don't really have much in common, other than we're both very family oriented. I know his interested cause his text is the first thing I see in the morning and the last text I receive at night. He goes out of his way to make plan with me and is always making plans for future dates. In the three months I've dated the first guy we've been on three dates, with two weeks or longer in between the dates. Within two weeks of dating the second guy, we went on four dates and are already hanging out together. My problem, I want to focus my attention to one. But I'm not sure if guy number one is really all that interested and I seriously am not looking to get hurt (again). I know guy number two is very much interested but should I'm not sure if it will really work because of things we lack in common and I do like him and we might find more things in common with each other. Anyone with any good advice on what I should do? Edited February 28, 2012 by anneredrose87
Professor X Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 3 months and 3 dates and you still thinking about that guy? lol.
Author anneredrose87 Posted February 28, 2012 Author Posted February 28, 2012 We're still communicating via text and I just saw him this week.
veggirl Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Guy #1 is not interested enough. Are you happy with 3 dates in 3 months? I mean seriously? That is bizarre. I wonder how many other girls he is dating. if you like Guy #2, go for it. He is clearly the only one of the two that has enough interest in you to want to be exclusive. I mean do you think Guy #1 would even agree to that? By the way, which one do you like better?! Your post just kinda seems...neutral about both. Like they are both okay and you want a BF so whoever is less likely to hurt you is what you want? Well okay, then that's clearly guy #2. The thing is, if you were TRULY very interested in EITHER of them, the other would've fallen away naturally by now, you wouldn't be sitting around going hmmm who to choose. So...perhaps find someone new completely.
pteromom Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 #1 is not interested. If he was, he'd be putting in more effort. But you say you don't have enough in common with #2. So I'd move on from both, and find a #3 - someone who you are crazy about, who is crazy about you, and who you are able to build a strong and growing connection with.
Professor X Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 We're still communicating via text and I just saw him this week. You don't get guys, do you? Well, if a guy wanted you, he'd cross the world to get to you. 3 months is a loooooooong time for merely 3 dates, pass on him, I promise you, 100%, he isn't interested in you. Those who tell you he's busy know nothing. My friend is dating this chick for 2 months now, and he sees her twice a week, now, he is working on his MD, which means 5 days a week, 8 hours of lab each time, after that he is also working at a part time job, also 5 days a week, 4-5 hours each shift, and during the 2 days of weekend, he's working this other job as a security guard, about 8-10 hours a shift, twice in that weekend. Other than that he's also going to the gym 2-3 times a week, 2-3 hours each time. Did I say he still dates this girl 2 times a week?
FrustratedStandards Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 I recently saw this in a movie and I think it's great advice, so I will relay it to you. "Don't choose the better man. Choose the man who makes the better you."
ffw Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 I recently saw this in a movie and I think it's great advice, so I will relay it to you. "Don't choose the better man. Choose the man who makes the better you." Good advice. I wish you could follow the same.
Author anneredrose87 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Posted February 29, 2012 Guy #1 is not interested enough. Are you happy with 3 dates in 3 months? I mean seriously? That is bizarre. I wonder how many other girls he is dating. if you like Guy #2, go for it. He is clearly the only one of the two that has enough interest in you to want to be exclusive. I mean do you think Guy #1 would even agree to that? By the way, which one do you like better?! Your post just kinda seems...neutral about both. Like they are both okay and you want a BF so whoever is less likely to hurt you is what you want? Well okay, then that's clearly guy #2. The thing is, if you were TRULY very interested in EITHER of them, the other would've fallen away naturally by now, you wouldn't be sitting around going hmmm who to choose. So...perhaps find someone new completely. I did like Guy #1 better and I was more attracted to him. But I think as everyone else pointed out his not that interested. And I think I pretty much agree with everyone else and I'm done with him. Guy #2 is sweet and nice enough so I pursue to see what's ahead with him. At this point though I'm not really looking for a boyfriend so I think I'm going to keep dating him but while we're not exclusive I'll keep dating around. Thanks for the advice!
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