SJC2008 Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 Not that one lol! The last girl I dated met me up at the location and then we drove in her car to a restaurant for dinner. I don't mind if we don't ride together for the first few dates. Now I offered to meet my date at her place and pick her up for our 3rd and she danced around it unitl I asked her if she'd rather meet up there and she said yes. Now for date 4 if she won't ride with me I'll pretty much be ready to call it IMO. Am I being logical here?
Pyro Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 IMO you are being logical. Date #4 and she doesn't want you picking her up? That is weird and she obviously isn't comfortable being alone with you. I would move on.
Author SJC2008 Posted February 28, 2012 Author Posted February 28, 2012 I respect a woman who won't jump into a car with a man she just met on the 1st couple of dates. The 3rd is an eyebrow raiser and I'm putting the 4th as my cutoff. We haven't planned our 4th date but if she turns down my invite for me to pick her up or for her to meet at my place and ride with me it's on to the next one!
Arkaeology Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 In my opinion, you should already know after the end of 3rd date if you're going to pursue this woman. If you received mixed signals on the second date, make a move on the 3rd. If you got rejected, you walk away with your head high knowing that you gave it a chance and unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be.
Author SJC2008 Posted February 28, 2012 Author Posted February 28, 2012 I haven't gotten any mixed signals ON our dates. The mixed signals are the nc from her (had a thread on that) and not wanting to ride with me on date 3. I was really ok with her not riding on date 3 but like I said if she won't ride with me on date 4 it's over, it may already be over as I haven't asked her out yet.
veggirl Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 I don't know, is it that big of a deal if you can't pick her up yet? What's her home situation, do you know? Are you guys physical (kissing) yet? I wouldn't necessarily draw a line in the sand yet about this. I mean if she got into her car with you, she's obviously not scared of you or anything.
Author SJC2008 Posted February 28, 2012 Author Posted February 28, 2012 We have not ridden together yet. I guess I wasn't clear in the OP. That was the last girl I dated I was talking about. That's why I'm drawing a line in the sand. As far as physical things are concerned, we have held hands and kissed at the end of dates 2&3. The problem is that I'm not a public makeout person and aren't about to slip her the the tongue in public. I don't know what to do. I'm gonna stay positive and go with her being traditional/conservative. I got another # online and so I have another prospect if she flakes.
pteromom Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 On date #3, you need to ask her why she still isn't comfortable riding with you and get that out there. 1
Author SJC2008 Posted February 28, 2012 Author Posted February 28, 2012 Yeah you raise a good point, I could of brought it up casually/jokingly to get a reaction from her. I've been blunt with women before and was in a similar sit about 7 months ago. I met a woman at my job and we met up for drinks. She always returned my calls/texts but after our 1st date she seemed really busy and I felt she was flaking so the last time on the phone I told her why don't we just leave things the way they are. Now the woman I'm dating hasn't flaked ONCE, and for some reason I'm really reluctant at writing her off. I don't know what it is, I don't think it's a validation issue because like I said I told the other one a few months ago to go fly a kite lol! I'm not saying the nc doesn't bother me but in hindsight we have only known each other for about 2.5 weeks which is nothing. Mabye she's using the push pull method on me that pua's talk about lol! Take my man card away from me if I fall for that!
Arkaeology Posted February 28, 2012 Posted February 28, 2012 You're thinking about this way too much. You've already held hands and kissed and you're worrying about her not riding with you? You got a pretty good thing going if you ask me.
veggirl Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 On date #3, you need to ask her why she still isn't comfortable riding with you and get that out there. Exactly. Ask her and listen to her answer. You don't know, there could be some very valid reason behind it. I wouldn't make any rash decision yet, if you really are digging her, but you are also going after other girls so maybe you don't?
Author SJC2008 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Posted February 29, 2012 I'm not pursing other women persay, but after her not letting pick her up for date 3 and not initiating contact with me has put me on guard. I am hidden on the site I met her on an open on another one. I was messaged on the other one and will call her soon. I'm not the multi dating type but old kind of forces you into it. Now as stated in my other thread I'm cooling my jets about the NC and am being optimistic in that she may be traditional/conservatice. BUT I'll keep my head on a swivel at the same time. For some strange reason I really like her though and want things to progress because "There's something about her". Now like I said in response to pteromom, I don't think it's a validation issue because I have been blunt with flakes before, and she hasn't flaked on dates. We'll see what happens.
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